Well, folks, it's been a nice run, but I'm winging my way out to Los Angeles in the very early morning. I may get Net access sometime over the weekend, but then again, I may not. If not, I'll be back on Tuesday.

When I return -- why it's bad to develop crushes on video game characters, a potential trip to Mo' Betta Meaty-Meat Burgers, my impressions of the first multiple choice test I've had to take in 4 years (well, aside from all those Cosmo quizzes we laughingly took), and why I once asked a deaf friend to lip-read a music video for me.

Blogger Insider: If you haven't signed up yet and you're interested, send an e-mail with your name and blog address to bloginterview@realityremixed.com, and I'll include you in next week's round. Everyone who participated in this week's round should post the questions they received and their answers by end-of-day Friday. Since I won't be back home until 6AM Tuesday morning, participants won't be getting their partner assignments for next week until Tuesday afternoon.

In my absence, you can stimulate the economy by buying me birthday presents -- December 21 is quickly approaching! (Just kidding. You don't have to buy me presents. Well, unless you want to.) Or you can check out some other cool people.

Peace, love & donuts, y'all.

Well, folks, it's been a nice run, but I'm winging my way out to Los Angeles in the very early morning. I may get Net access sometime over the weekend, but then again, I may not. If not, I'll be back on Tuesday.

When I return -- why it's bad to develop crushes on video game characters, a potential trip to Mo' Betta Meaty-Meat Burgers, my impressions of the first multiple choice test I've had to take in 4 years (well, aside from all those Cosmo quizzes we laughingly took), and why I once asked a deaf friend to lip-read a music video for me.

Blogger Insider: If you haven't signed up yet and you're interested, send an e-mail with your name and blog address to bloginterview@realityremixed.com, and I'll include you in next week's round. Everyone who participated in this week's round should post the questions they received and their answers by end-of-day Friday. Since I won't be back home until 6AM Tuesday morning, participants won't be getting their partner assignments for next week until Tuesday afternoon.

In my absence, you can stimulate the economy by buying me birthday presents -- December 21 is quickly approaching! (Just kidding. You don't have to buy me presents. Well, unless you want to.) Or you can check out some other cool people.

Peace, love & donuts, y'all.

Growing up with a doctor for a father has its perks. Among them was the ever-popular prescription pad -- but not for the reasons you think, you sicko. I'm not an addict nor a dealer.

My town's school system implemented this policy when I was in junior high school that if you were to be out sick for a day, a note from your parent didn't count. You had to have a note from a doctor that was written on either doctor's office stationery or a prescription pad, and it never had to be anything really involved -- just something along the lines of "Please excuse [insert child's name] from school on [insert date]. He/she had [insert malady]. Thank you." I guess it was an effort to cut down on kids faking notes from their parents for cutting school. But that was never a problem for me, since I had easy access to a prescription pad. I never really cut school because... well, quite frankly, what would I do for the day? I lived in a small town where you needed a car to get anywhere, plus a lot of people recognized me and knew my parents, so there was a decent chance I would've been spotted had I skipped school. So unless I was willing to hide in the woods for the day, I figured I might as well be in school since hiding in the woods would get kind of boring after an hour or two.

But I did get sick every now and then, and having Dad's prescription pad around saved me trips to the doctor to prove that yes, I really was sick and that's why I was out of school. But I learned early on in life that it's more fun when you play with people's minds, so we had a small game going with the school administrators and to this day, I still don't think they ever caught on. Dad would come home from work, ask me if I needed my excuse note, and when I said I did, we'd come up with something creative and that's what he'd say I had in my excuse note.

Over the course of a few years, I suffered from 24-48 hour bouts of Ebola, listeria (which, if I recall correctly, is a kind of bacterial food poisoning that sometimes results in explosive diarrhea), hemorrhagic fever (yes, I know Ebola is a kind of hemorrhagic fever, but put "fever" down and it sounds plausible), post-prandial upper abdominal distension (translation: cramps) and many other sicknesses that would usually kill a person or cause hospitalization for at least a week or two. Dad occasionally went outside the bounds of medicine, such as the time I had a case of acute Bucephalus (Bucephalus was a winged horse in Greek mythology), monosodium glutamate (translation: salt), and the famous phenylalanine episode (phenylalanine is a preservative used in soda).

Still trust your doctor and all the scientific terms he/she spouts off?

Growing up with a doctor for a father has its perks. Among them was the ever-popular prescription pad -- but not for the reasons you think, you sicko. I'm not an addict nor a dealer.

My town's school system implemented this policy when I was in junior high school that if you were to be out sick for a day, a note from your parent didn't count. You had to have a note from a doctor that was written on either doctor's office stationery or a prescription pad, and it never had to be anything really involved -- just something along the lines of "Please excuse [insert child's name] from school on [insert date]. He/she had [insert malady]. Thank you." I guess it was an effort to cut down on kids faking notes from their parents for cutting school. But that was never a problem for me, since I had easy access to a prescription pad. I never really cut school because... well, quite frankly, what would I do for the day? I lived in a small town where you needed a car to get anywhere, plus a lot of people recognized me and knew my parents, so there was a decent chance I would've been spotted had I skipped school. So unless I was willing to hide in the woods for the day, I figured I might as well be in school since hiding in the woods would get kind of boring after an hour or two.

But I did get sick every now and then, and having Dad's prescription pad around saved me trips to the doctor to prove that yes, I really was sick and that's why I was out of school. But I learned early on in life that it's more fun when you play with people's minds, so we had a small game going with the school administrators and to this day, I still don't think they ever caught on. Dad would come home from work, ask me if I needed my excuse note, and when I said I did, we'd come up with something creative and that's what he'd say I had in my excuse note.

Over the course of a few years, I suffered from 24-48 hour bouts of Ebola, listeria (which, if I recall correctly, is a kind of bacterial food poisoning that sometimes results in explosive diarrhea), hemorrhagic fever (yes, I know Ebola is a kind of hemorrhagic fever, but put "fever" down and it sounds plausible), post-prandial upper abdominal distension (translation: cramps) and many other sicknesses that would usually kill a person or cause hospitalization for at least a week or two. Dad occasionally went outside the bounds of medicine, such as the time I had a case of acute Bucephalus (Bucephalus was a winged horse in Greek mythology), monosodium glutamate (translation: salt), and the famous phenylalanine episode (phenylalanine is a preservative used in soda).

Still trust your doctor and all the scientific terms he/she spouts off?

So, my former roommates in all their splendor. In my last story about them, I complained how they made stuff disappear, like my food that I had been saving or my kitchen utensils when we were packing up to move out. In this story, I will tell you about how they made stuff appear.

See, these guys took everything that wasn't nailed down. To the point where they were starting their own ashtray collection from various bars, though I have no idea why they'd want to use an ashtray and then smuggle it home. They found this absolutely horrid Warholesque-looking enormous poster of a woman's torso, which they hung on the wall in our foyer -- they'd found it in the garbage behind a record store, dug it out and carried it home. When it (thankfully and blessedly) ripped in half, I took it down to the trash room in our building's basement. They went down, patched it back together and re-hung it. It ripped in other places as well, so they finally allowed me to throw it out. Well, actually, they didn't take it back out of the trash, I mean.

Either way, I came home one afternoon from work to find a new endtable sitting in the middle of our hallway. I asked one of the roommates where it came from, since it was pretty nice looking and I didn't think they'd have just gone out and bought an endtable, and he said, "Well, someone just left it in the hallway downstairs. So we took it."

I recalled my entry into the building a few minutes before, remembered that there was furniture lining the hallways and that I had thought to myself, "Hmm, I guess someone's either moving in or moving out." Then my mind connected the dots and I realized -- holy crap, these guys had just stolen someone's endtable. Were they that oblivious?

Apparently so. I bolted back down to the building's main entrance to try to catch the rightful owners and apologize profusely for my moronic roommates, but they weren't there. However, they had posted signs saying something to the effect of "whoever took our table, we weren't throwing it out -- WE WANT IT BACK, no questions asked." Thanking my lucky stars no one seemed to be around, I ran back up to the apartment, hauled the endtable back down to where it belonged, and breathed a sigh of relief. Then I went back upstairs to yell at my roommate and tell him what a stupid schmuck he was, but he just kind of shrugged it off and said, "Hey, we thought it was up for grabs."

So the moral of the story is: if anything ever disappears from your house or apartment, chances are I probably know who took it. But (thank Jeebus) I don't live with them anymore, so don't expect me to be able to get it back for you.

So, my former roommates in all their splendor. In my last story about them, I complained how they made stuff disappear, like my food that I had been saving or my kitchen utensils when we were packing up to move out. In this story, I will tell you about how they made stuff appear.

See, these guys took everything that wasn't nailed down. To the point where they were starting their own ashtray collection from various bars, though I have no idea why they'd want to use an ashtray and then smuggle it home. They found this absolutely horrid Warholesque-looking enormous poster of a woman's torso, which they hung on the wall in our foyer -- they'd found it in the garbage behind a record store, dug it out and carried it home. When it (thankfully and blessedly) ripped in half, I took it down to the trash room in our building's basement. They went down, patched it back together and re-hung it. It ripped in other places as well, so they finally allowed me to throw it out. Well, actually, they didn't take it back out of the trash, I mean.

Either way, I came home one afternoon from work to find a new endtable sitting in the middle of our hallway. I asked one of the roommates where it came from, since it was pretty nice looking and I didn't think they'd have just gone out and bought an endtable, and he said, "Well, someone just left it in the hallway downstairs. So we took it."

I recalled my entry into the building a few minutes before, remembered that there was furniture lining the hallways and that I had thought to myself, "Hmm, I guess someone's either moving in or moving out." Then my mind connected the dots and I realized -- holy crap, these guys had just stolen someone's endtable. Were they that oblivious?

Apparently so. I bolted back down to the building's main entrance to try to catch the rightful owners and apologize profusely for my moronic roommates, but they weren't there. However, they had posted signs saying something to the effect of "whoever took our table, we weren't throwing it out -- WE WANT IT BACK, no questions asked." Thanking my lucky stars no one seemed to be around, I ran back up to the apartment, hauled the endtable back down to where it belonged, and breathed a sigh of relief. Then I went back upstairs to yell at my roommate and tell him what a stupid schmuck he was, but he just kind of shrugged it off and said, "Hey, we thought it was up for grabs."

So the moral of the story is: if anything ever disappears from your house or apartment, chances are I probably know who took it. But (thank Jeebus) I don't live with them anymore, so don't expect me to be able to get it back for you.

- Dug through a cereal box or ate multiple bowls of cereal at one sitting in order to get the prize?
- Called in sick when you weren't?
- Chewed gum when you wore braces (if you wore braces) against your dentist's recommendations?
- Lied to someone and said you liked something when you really didn't like it, but you didn't know why? (Trying not to hurt their feelings by saying you like their painting or cooking or something doesn't count.)
- Felt peer-pressured into doing or buying something you really didn't want to do?
- Bought something at a more expensive price than you could have gotten it for, simply because you didn't want to wait for the store selling it at the lower price to restock?
- Locked yourself out of your apartment/house without a spare key, so you had to wait for your roommate/significant other/locksmith to let you in?
- Wore something simply to fit in even if you didn't like it?
- Went to a concert so loud you suffered side-effects (headache for a few days, ear infections, etc.)?

- Dug through a cereal box or ate multiple bowls of cereal at one sitting in order to get the prize?
- Called in sick when you weren't?
- Chewed gum when you wore braces (if you wore braces) against your dentist's recommendations?
- Lied to someone and said you liked something when you really didn't like it, but you didn't know why? (Trying not to hurt their feelings by saying you like their painting or cooking or something doesn't count.)
- Felt peer-pressured into doing or buying something you really didn't want to do?
- Bought something at a more expensive price than you could have gotten it for, simply because you didn't want to wait for the store selling it at the lower price to restock?
- Locked yourself out of your apartment/house without a spare key, so you had to wait for your roommate/significant other/locksmith to let you in?
- Wore something simply to fit in even if you didn't like it?
- Went to a concert so loud you suffered side-effects (headache for a few days, ear infections, etc.)?

According to MSNBC, Britney Spears, "all-American sex babe," turns 20 on Sunday. Is it just me, or does the title of that article sound like a bad '70s TV show where Britney would play a character made up of part T.J. Hooker and part Derek Zoolander? Female, of course, though.

According to MSNBC, Britney Spears, "all-American sex babe," turns 20 on Sunday. Is it just me, or does the title of that article sound like a bad '70s TV show where Britney would play a character made up of part T.J. Hooker and part Derek Zoolander? Female, of course, though.

Even though I've been there many, many times, I'm still at a bit of a loss as to why people continually make New Jersey the butt of most jokes. (For example: "Yo' momma so skanky--" "Yeah, but not as skanky as New Jersey!") I mean, there is the hair... and the smell... (but the smell is localized to mostly the northeastern shoreline) and the medical waste washing up on the beaches... (but that's not their fault, that's New York's fault!) But aside from that, Jersey definitely has some redeeming qualities. Like Six Flags.

Even though I've been there many, many times, I'm still at a bit of a loss as to why people continually make New Jersey the butt of most jokes. (For example: "Yo' momma so skanky--" "Yeah, but not as skanky as New Jersey!") I mean, there is the hair... and the smell... (but the smell is localized to mostly the northeastern shoreline) and the medical waste washing up on the beaches... (but that's not their fault, that's New York's fault!) But aside from that, Jersey definitely has some redeeming qualities. Like Six Flags.

Top 5 all-time desert-island stupidest things other people have said this year that were either said to me or that I overheard (in no particular order):

1. "Wait... Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?"
2. "What makes you think Kozmo's going under? They may not be making money on their transactions, but they're doing a lot of business!"
3. "It's new, it's never been done before... it's retro!"
4. "The new 'Survivor' is in Africa... I wonder if anyone on the show will get eaten by bears. Do you think CBS would show it if they were?" (There are no bears in Kenya, which is where the show was filmed. I don't think there are bears anywhere on the entire continent of Africa.)
5. "I guess I have this third account now... the bank put $300 in and called it 'reserve balance.' So even though my checking & savings accounts are empty, I still have this money they gave me!" (We went through his bank information and finally convinced him that the "reserve balance" was a $300 overrun cushion so that in case his deposits didn't clear quickly enough, he'd have a bit of a cushion so his checks wouldn't bounce, but he'd still have to pay back the money to bring the account back up to $300.)

Top 5 all-time desert-island stupidest things other people have said this year that were either said to me or that I overheard (in no particular order):

1. "Wait... Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?"
2. "What makes you think Kozmo's going under? They may not be making money on their transactions, but they're doing a lot of business!"
3. "It's new, it's never been done before... it's retro!"
4. "The new 'Survivor' is in Africa... I wonder if anyone on the show will get eaten by bears. Do you think CBS would show it if they were?" (There are no bears in Kenya, which is where the show was filmed. I don't think there are bears anywhere on the entire continent of Africa.)
5. "I guess I have this third account now... the bank put $300 in and called it 'reserve balance.' So even though my checking & savings accounts are empty, I still have this money they gave me!" (We went through his bank information and finally convinced him that the "reserve balance" was a $300 overrun cushion so that in case his deposits didn't clear quickly enough, he'd have a bit of a cushion so his checks wouldn't bounce, but he'd still have to pay back the money to bring the account back up to $300.)

My absolute favorite comfort/pig-out food has to be pizza. But it's got to be thin crust, and it's got to be loaded with cheese, like this place in Brighton that I always go to that is soooo good, and I hate corporate pizza (any chain, like Domino's or Papa Gino's, though I will do Pizza Hut's all you can eat $5 lunch buffet). And there's this place near my parents' that makes the best gorgonzola pizza. A huge cheeseburger is a close runner-up. Yours?