You're the President. Your "war on terrorism" is starting to wane in the public attention. Your approval rating is dropping again as people are starting to realize that your public statements actually don't contain any substance, only grandiose words about "how we must triumph over evil." What are you gonna do now?

Well, expand the war! Finish what Daddy left undone by taking out Saddam Hussein! Remake the entire Middle East by having U.S. soldiers come in and level the place with bombs! Yeah! Media frenzy, media frenzy, war war war, woooooooo!

In his usual vacant-looking and vague-sounding style, George W. Moron announced today that he was considering expanding the "war on terrorism" beyond Afghanistan (he's looking in your direction, North Korea & Iraq), and that making weapons of mass destruction that could be used for threatening purposes or funding or harboring terrorists would make the nation as culpable as if they were terrorists themselves -- and they'll have to "face the consequences." (Can you hear the horns playing "bum bum buuuuuum" in the background after that statement?) Basically, it means that he wants to go around playing Policeman Of the World, bombing anyone he sees as a threat to our national security.

Media Strangleholder Ari Fleischer was quick to say that this was a re-statement of long-held beliefs and not a new policy, though this was a rather pointed threat in my humble opinion -- one that isn't reflected by just the previous policy of keeping national security. But come on, Ari, tell it like it is -- this is President Moron lookin' to go give someone a whuppin' because he needs some popularity and his grip on the nation's attention is beginning to wane. And the scary thing is that he's starting to sound just like his daddy. I was listening to Ministry's song "New World Order" earlier today, and in it, one of former president George Herbert Walker Moron's speeches is sampled. The line goes: "What we are looking at is good and evil, right and wrong." Sound familiar, eh? Pretty soon, our current president will start talking about his New World Order, made possible by American troops "fighting the war against terrorism" by overrunning half the world.

What he doesn't realize is that while he's threatening those nations with consequences, they can threaten right back. And not that I'm very eager to see more terrorism go down in this country, but I think we need to clean up our business in Afghanistan and get the hell out of there. I still believe that there are terrorist cells in covert operation within our own borders, and we need to be smoking them out -- not looking through caves in some backwater country thousands of miles away. This whole situation makes me think of a neighborhood fight where some kids knock down a mailbox and egg a house so the house's occupants go running around the block looking for the kids who did it, but these were just decoys to get the occupants out so the main group of kids can go in and steal everything out of the house.

According to her behavior on tonight's "Star Trek Weakest Link," Roxann Dawson seems to be as bitchy and humorless as her character, the half-Klingon B'Elanna Torres, was on Star Trek: Voyager. I'm still unenlightened as to the basis for her apparent vendetta against my man, Wil Wheaton.

According to her behavior on tonight's "Star Trek Weakest Link," Roxann Dawson seems to be as bitchy and humorless as her character, the half-Klingon B'Elanna Torres, was on Star Trek: Voyager. I'm still unenlightened as to the basis for her apparent vendetta against my man, Wil Wheaton.

Sorry I've been kind of distracted as of late. Lots to think about, as you've read. And now it appears I'm flying out to L.A. this coming weekend to take a test for a position with the City of Los Angeles. It'll be a fairly quick trip -- flying out Friday morning, taking the red-eye back Monday night. While I'm out there, I'll also check out some radiology technician training programs, but I'm glad I'll get to spend a little time one of my best friends who lives there -- well, I'm staying at her place, so at least I hope to spend some time with her, though it's finals week for her (she's in an MBA program at Pepperdine).

Interesting that American Airlines dropped the designation of #11 for their early-morning Boston-to-L.A. flight after September 11th (it's been replaced with #25, which is at the same time and is also the flight I'll be taking), though the turnaround flight using the same plane is still #12.

Sorry I've been kind of distracted as of late. Lots to think about, as you've read. And now it appears I'm flying out to L.A. this coming weekend to take a test for a position with the City of Los Angeles. It'll be a fairly quick trip -- flying out Friday morning, taking the red-eye back Monday night. While I'm out there, I'll also check out some radiology technician training programs, but I'm glad I'll get to spend a little time one of my best friends who lives there -- well, I'm staying at her place, so at least I hope to spend some time with her, though it's finals week for her (she's in an MBA program at Pepperdine).

Interesting that American Airlines dropped the designation of #11 for their early-morning Boston-to-L.A. flight after September 11th (it's been replaced with #25, which is at the same time and is also the flight I'll be taking), though the turnaround flight using the same plane is still #12.

Some people are blessed with the ability to naturally attract luck, fame, fortune or beautiful people. I seem to be a magnet for other people's insanity.

I went to the local post office today to mail my dad's resume back to him (I had reworked it for him over the weekend, then told him my laser printer would look more professional so I'd print out copies and Priority Mail them back to him). The line is always long at the post office, but it was actually kind of short today -- I only waited 20 minutes to get to the window as opposed to my usual half-hour. But right when I was at the front of the line, this elderly woman steps up out of nowhere and asks me if I mind if she goes to the head of the line. Do I mind? Hell yeah I mind!

Well, she's got a good reason. She's got a suspicious letter. I asked her, "Do you have it with you?" thinking that maybe if she said "no, it's in my car" or something, I could tell her to go home and call a Hazmat team if she's concerned. But no, she's got it with her -- she reaches into her bag, pulls out this letter and starts waving it at me.

I'm thinking, first of all, if you think there's something in this letter that's suspicious, why would you be carrying it in your bag that you bring around with you everyday where, if you think there's something in it, it could contaminate everything you've got in there? Second of all, why didn't you seal it in a Ziploc bag or something? Third of all, it looks like someone left dirty fingerprints on it which isn't suspicious at all -- I leave dirty fingerprints everywhere after I've read the newspaper -- and I seriously doubt that someone would target you in the middle of suburbia as an anthrax target. Finally, why the hell are you waving it in my face if you think it's suspicious?

At this point, the other elderly woman behind me pokes me in the back and says, "Well, we've been waiting here for a long time." To which the response is, "But I've got a suspicious letter!" (This will become the chorus for the entire discussion that ensues between the three of us, and the post office window workers are moving slowly enough that the discussion lasts for a few minutes.)
"I don't think it really looks that bad."
"But I've got a suspicious letter!"
"Well, we've been waiting here for a while... I don't think it's fair that you just jump the line."
"But I've got a suspicious letter!"
The woman behind me looks at me and says, "You're next in line. Go when the next window opens up."
"But I've got a suspicious letter!" This continues along similar lines for the duration of the discussion.

Finally, the next window opens, and the woman with the suspicious letter declares, "Well, I don't care, I'm going," and jets across the floor to the window -- to which I'm thinking, if you don't care and you're just going, why did you bother asking me in the first place? I look back at the woman behind me and shrug, but to her (and my) relief, two more windows open up a few seconds later so she won't explode that someone cut in front of her. Then I send my package on its way and get the hell out of the post office for fear that someone else will accost me on the way out to ask me what I sent and did it contain anthrax.

Some people are blessed with the ability to naturally attract luck, fame, fortune or beautiful people. I seem to be a magnet for other people's insanity.

I went to the local post office today to mail my dad's resume back to him (I had reworked it for him over the weekend, then told him my laser printer would look more professional so I'd print out copies and Priority Mail them back to him). The line is always long at the post office, but it was actually kind of short today -- I only waited 20 minutes to get to the window as opposed to my usual half-hour. But right when I was at the front of the line, this elderly woman steps up out of nowhere and asks me if I mind if she goes to the head of the line. Do I mind? Hell yeah I mind!

Well, she's got a good reason. She's got a suspicious letter. I asked her, "Do you have it with you?" thinking that maybe if she said "no, it's in my car" or something, I could tell her to go home and call a Hazmat team if she's concerned. But no, she's got it with her -- she reaches into her bag, pulls out this letter and starts waving it at me.

I'm thinking, first of all, if you think there's something in this letter that's suspicious, why would you be carrying it in your bag that you bring around with you everyday where, if you think there's something in it, it could contaminate everything you've got in there? Second of all, why didn't you seal it in a Ziploc bag or something? Third of all, it looks like someone left dirty fingerprints on it which isn't suspicious at all -- I leave dirty fingerprints everywhere after I've read the newspaper -- and I seriously doubt that someone would target you in the middle of suburbia as an anthrax target. Finally, why the hell are you waving it in my face if you think it's suspicious?

At this point, the other elderly woman behind me pokes me in the back and says, "Well, we've been waiting here for a long time." To which the response is, "But I've got a suspicious letter!" (This will become the chorus for the entire discussion that ensues between the three of us, and the post office window workers are moving slowly enough that the discussion lasts for a few minutes.)
"I don't think it really looks that bad."
"But I've got a suspicious letter!"
"Well, we've been waiting here for a while... I don't think it's fair that you just jump the line."
"But I've got a suspicious letter!"
The woman behind me looks at me and says, "You're next in line. Go when the next window opens up."
"But I've got a suspicious letter!" This continues along similar lines for the duration of the discussion.

Finally, the next window opens, and the woman with the suspicious letter declares, "Well, I don't care, I'm going," and jets across the floor to the window -- to which I'm thinking, if you don't care and you're just going, why did you bother asking me in the first place? I look back at the woman behind me and shrug, but to her (and my) relief, two more windows open up a few seconds later so she won't explode that someone cut in front of her. Then I send my package on its way and get the hell out of the post office for fear that someone else will accost me on the way out to ask me what I sent and did it contain anthrax.

Police arrested a man in London for driving while on his cell phone. The problem was not so much the fact that he was driving while on his cell or that he ran a red light, the bigger problem was that he only had one arm (having lost half of the other in an accident) and was using his only hand to hold the cell phone rather than drive. Now if that isn't an argument for how prevalent cell phone use in cars is becoming and how people consider it more important than driving, I don't know what is.

It's common sense. At least one hand has to be on the driver's wheel, steering the car. If you only have one hand, it stays on the wheel at all times. This is why I'm opposed to people getting web interface panels and TVs in cars -- if the distraction is there, people will use it, and then they will mow someone down because they weren't looking at the road.

Police arrested a man in London for driving while on his cell phone. The problem was not so much the fact that he was driving while on his cell or that he ran a red light, the bigger problem was that he only had one arm (having lost half of the other in an accident) and was using his only hand to hold the cell phone rather than drive. Now if that isn't an argument for how prevalent cell phone use in cars is becoming and how people consider it more important than driving, I don't know what is.

It's common sense. At least one hand has to be on the driver's wheel, steering the car. If you only have one hand, it stays on the wheel at all times. This is why I'm opposed to people getting web interface panels and TVs in cars -- if the distraction is there, people will use it, and then they will mow someone down because they weren't looking at the road.

Today's "The Boondocks" comic strip raises a good point: Did Miss Cleo know about the terrorist attacks before they happened? We've got all these "licensed" psychics running around, why didn't they say anything ahead of time?

Today's "The Boondocks" comic strip raises a good point: Did Miss Cleo know about the terrorist attacks before they happened? We've got all these "licensed" psychics running around, why didn't they say anything ahead of time?

So by now, I'm sure we've all heard about the synchronicity between Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" and The Wizard of Oz. Intentional or not, it still sounds pretty cool, though I have yet to actually try it myself.

I was thinking about some other movies & albums that might be mildly amusing to link up. Tony suggested Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory with J.Lo's latest. Perhaps 2001: A Space Odyssey paired with something bouncy, like Britney Spears or BSB. George of the Jungle with a kick-ass guitarist, like Steve Vai or Joe Satriani.

The possibilities are endless.

So by now, I'm sure we've all heard about the synchronicity between Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" and The Wizard of Oz. Intentional or not, it still sounds pretty cool, though I have yet to actually try it myself.

I was thinking about some other movies & albums that might be mildly amusing to link up. Tony suggested Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory with J.Lo's latest. Perhaps 2001: A Space Odyssey paired with something bouncy, like Britney Spears or BSB. George of the Jungle with a kick-ass guitarist, like Steve Vai or Joe Satriani.

The possibilities are endless.

More reasons I'm losing faith in the world:

- A recent survey by Progressive Auto Insurance said that 44% of designated drivers actually drive drunk.
- At a boxing match for charity on Friday night in New York City, the winner went to hug the loser after the fight, but the loser refused the hug and punched the winner in the jaw using his bare knuckles.
- Fox actually aired Episode I: The Phantom Menace, perpetuating the notion that it might actually be a decent addition to the Star Wars series.

More reasons I'm losing faith in the world:

- A recent survey by Progressive Auto Insurance said that 44% of designated drivers actually drive drunk.
- At a boxing match for charity on Friday night in New York City, the winner went to hug the loser after the fight, but the loser refused the hug and punched the winner in the jaw using his bare knuckles.
- Fox actually aired Episode I: The Phantom Menace, perpetuating the notion that it might actually be a decent addition to the Star Wars series.