But the grass is always greener on the other side
Neighbor's got a new car that you wanna drive
But your time is runnin' out
You wanna stay alive
We all live under the same sky
We all will live, we all will die
There is no wrong, there is no right
The circle only has one side...
-- Travis, "Side"

Okay, here's the situation: my parents have been asleep for at least 2 hours, they have crappy cable, and I'm quickly becoming reacquainted with my Snood addiction.

In other news, I have to constantly remind my media-barraged brain that the correct opening lyric to Superdrag's "Lighting the Way" is "I been lightin' the way," not "I'm bin Laden away." But damn it, they sound so close...

Okay, here's the situation: my parents have been asleep for at least 2 hours, they have crappy cable, and I'm quickly becoming reacquainted with my Snood addiction.

In other news, I have to constantly remind my media-barraged brain that the correct opening lyric to Superdrag's "Lighting the Way" is "I been lightin' the way," not "I'm bin Laden away." But damn it, they sound so close...

Over Thanksgiving dinner, I was given something to be thankful for -- a way out.

Apparently, Mom and Dad have been discussing my situation (surprise, surprise) and took into account Dad's worrisome predictions that the economy will take at least 6 months to a year if not more to turn around, plus the fact that the industry that I'm in right now is exceptionally slaved to the economy's condition -- meaning that in a few years if we go into another recession, I'd again be a prime candidate for layoffs.

As such, they proposed this: they will pay my bills for everything but incidentals, and they will also put me through school for me to become a CAT scan or MRI operator/technician. They seem to think that it's a very stable, well-paying field where people are always in demand, and while I may not love it to pieces, I won't actively dislike it. In exchange, I'll have to get a part-time job to pay my own incidentals and I also have to make a distinct effort to succeed at this. If, in a few years, I decide I want out, I'll at least have this to fall back on if I ever fall into hard times again.

While it's incredibly generous of them and I greatly appreciate their offer, I'm still a little apprehensive about it, and I also really wanted to work this out on my own without help. I'm not sure about the commitment, because if the economy picks up in two months and the Dream Job in L.A. opens up, what do I do? Also, I have no knowledge of the field whatsoever -- I'd love some information in terms of hours, pay, where I can get schooled on this, how hard it is, how long schooling takes, and how much demand the field really has. If there's anyone out there with info or knows where I can look, I'd love if you could drop me a line.

Thoughts? Opinions? The King of Pop is neither a king nor pop. Discuss.

Over Thanksgiving dinner, I was given something to be thankful for -- a way out.

Apparently, Mom and Dad have been discussing my situation (surprise, surprise) and took into account Dad's worrisome predictions that the economy will take at least 6 months to a year if not more to turn around, plus the fact that the industry that I'm in right now is exceptionally slaved to the economy's condition -- meaning that in a few years if we go into another recession, I'd again be a prime candidate for layoffs.

As such, they proposed this: they will pay my bills for everything but incidentals, and they will also put me through school for me to become a CAT scan or MRI operator/technician. They seem to think that it's a very stable, well-paying field where people are always in demand, and while I may not love it to pieces, I won't actively dislike it. In exchange, I'll have to get a part-time job to pay my own incidentals and I also have to make a distinct effort to succeed at this. If, in a few years, I decide I want out, I'll at least have this to fall back on if I ever fall into hard times again.

While it's incredibly generous of them and I greatly appreciate their offer, I'm still a little apprehensive about it, and I also really wanted to work this out on my own without help. I'm not sure about the commitment, because if the economy picks up in two months and the Dream Job in L.A. opens up, what do I do? Also, I have no knowledge of the field whatsoever -- I'd love some information in terms of hours, pay, where I can get schooled on this, how hard it is, how long schooling takes, and how much demand the field really has. If there's anyone out there with info or knows where I can look, I'd love if you could drop me a line.

Thoughts? Opinions? The King of Pop is neither a king nor pop. Discuss.

My mom was telling me about my parents' recent trip to Arizona, where they scouted out places for potential retirement living. It's kind of odd for me to think that my parents are old enough to retire, but I guess no one really thinks of their own parents as old.

Either way, Mom was telling me how in Arizona, it's perfectly legal to carry a firearm as long as it's unconcealed -- concealed weapons you need a permit for. Of course, some places aren't willing to let guns in, so my mom said that she saw signs that had variations on the usual stipulations by saying "No shirt, no shoes, no weapons, no service."

Does anyone else see the problem here? The way these signs are worded, they won't give you service if you don't have a weapon -- basically, they say "you will not get service if you do not have a shirt, shoes or a weapon." So hand me my MAC-10, will you? I'm going on a date to a nice restaurant and I want to make sure we're served.

My mom was telling me about my parents' recent trip to Arizona, where they scouted out places for potential retirement living. It's kind of odd for me to think that my parents are old enough to retire, but I guess no one really thinks of their own parents as old.

Either way, Mom was telling me how in Arizona, it's perfectly legal to carry a firearm as long as it's unconcealed -- concealed weapons you need a permit for. Of course, some places aren't willing to let guns in, so my mom said that she saw signs that had variations on the usual stipulations by saying "No shirt, no shoes, no weapons, no service."

Does anyone else see the problem here? The way these signs are worded, they won't give you service if you don't have a weapon -- basically, they say "you will not get service if you do not have a shirt, shoes or a weapon." So hand me my MAC-10, will you? I'm going on a date to a nice restaurant and I want to make sure we're served.

My mom and I have a running joke where she maintains that she is God, and that, being that I am the son of God, makes me Jesus Christ. The problem is that I think she's starting to cross that line into actually taking it seriously. I just read something online and softly said, "Oh Lord," and she said in a completely serious tone of voice, "Yes?"

My mom and I have a running joke where she maintains that she is God, and that, being that I am the son of God, makes me Jesus Christ. The problem is that I think she's starting to cross that line into actually taking it seriously. I just read something online and softly said, "Oh Lord," and she said in a completely serious tone of voice, "Yes?"

Guruvious asked a very interesting question: if you were in New York City this New Year's Eve, would you go to Times Square?

Personally, I've never been to Times Square for New Year's Eve, and both of my parents who lived in New York City for 25 years have never been to Times Square for New Year's Eve. Were I to find myself in New York City on December 31st, chances are I probably wouldn't go, but only for the reasons that the Square gets so incredibly crowded -- you're basically standing smushed in one spot for six hours while 50,000 other people push in around you and you have to get there and camp out several hours in advance to snag a spot -- and it's usually pretty cold to be standing outside for that length of time while you worry about losing your spot if you have to go to the bathroom, and Big Jim Slade is standing in front of you blocking your view and stepping on your half-frozen toes. I'd rather be indoors or in a warm climate, celebrating with friends than freezing my ass off with 50,000 strangers. But that's just me.

What's the best and worst New Year's you've ever had?

Guruvious asked a very interesting question: if you were in New York City this New Year's Eve, would you go to Times Square?

Personally, I've never been to Times Square for New Year's Eve, and both of my parents who lived in New York City for 25 years have never been to Times Square for New Year's Eve. Were I to find myself in New York City on December 31st, chances are I probably wouldn't go, but only for the reasons that the Square gets so incredibly crowded -- you're basically standing smushed in one spot for six hours while 50,000 other people push in around you and you have to get there and camp out several hours in advance to snag a spot -- and it's usually pretty cold to be standing outside for that length of time while you worry about losing your spot if you have to go to the bathroom, and Big Jim Slade is standing in front of you blocking your view and stepping on your half-frozen toes. I'd rather be indoors or in a warm climate, celebrating with friends than freezing my ass off with 50,000 strangers. But that's just me.

What's the best and worst New Year's you've ever had?

...Happy Thanksgiving, now that it's past midnight here on the East Coast. Thanks to all of you for offering your support, your humor, your readership and your help & generosity in various ways despite my insanity and occasional whinyness -- truly, you guys are people to be thankful for.

All the best to you, your families & loved ones. Now go enjoy that turkey triptophan, it's one of the last legal CNS (central nervous system) depressants.

...Happy Thanksgiving, now that it's past midnight here on the East Coast. Thanks to all of you for offering your support, your humor, your readership and your help & generosity in various ways despite my insanity and occasional whinyness -- truly, you guys are people to be thankful for.

All the best to you, your families & loved ones. Now go enjoy that turkey triptophan, it's one of the last legal CNS (central nervous system) depressants.

Okay, to use a line I liberally pilfered from the movie Philadelphia and tend to use every now & then: Explain this to me like I'm a four year old. So let's break it down.

Microsoft has been accused of being a monopoly. The government, originally out to break up the company in accordance with anti-monopolistic trade laws, has now decided to side with Ma Bill so they don't have to break up the company. In exchange, Microsoft gives $1 billion in refurbished computers, software and training to inner-city schools.

Sounds like a peachy settlement, no? My main problems with this stem from the fact that not only are they not taking measures to separate the Internet Explorer browser out from the Windows operating system, but it also drastically gives them an upper hand in a market where they've been lagging -- the educational market. Apple has traditionally reigned in terms of having top market share for schools, but now Microsoft and their Windows operating system is cutting in here as well. And financially, Microsoft has $32 billion in cash -- this settlement will not seriously damage the company at all.

So let me get this straight -- the government is allowing Microsoft to remain a formidable force in the computing world by additionally granting them a nice chunk of one of the only markets they don't control? While I fully realize the social benefits of giving inner-city kids a chance to learn some computer skills and support that aspect of this deal, this doesn't even punish Microsoft in the slightest and wasn't that the point behind this settlement in the first place?

In times like this, there's only one thing to say: Republicans. [sigh] Some head-shaking may also be involved on my part.

Okay, to use a line I liberally pilfered from the movie Philadelphia and tend to use every now & then: Explain this to me like I'm a four year old. So let's break it down.

Microsoft has been accused of being a monopoly. The government, originally out to break up the company in accordance with anti-monopolistic trade laws, has now decided to side with Ma Bill so they don't have to break up the company. In exchange, Microsoft gives $1 billion in refurbished computers, software and training to inner-city schools.

Sounds like a peachy settlement, no? My main problems with this stem from the fact that not only are they not taking measures to separate the Internet Explorer browser out from the Windows operating system, but it also drastically gives them an upper hand in a market where they've been lagging -- the educational market. Apple has traditionally reigned in terms of having top market share for schools, but now Microsoft and their Windows operating system is cutting in here as well. And financially, Microsoft has $32 billion in cash -- this settlement will not seriously damage the company at all.

So let me get this straight -- the government is allowing Microsoft to remain a formidable force in the computing world by additionally granting them a nice chunk of one of the only markets they don't control? While I fully realize the social benefits of giving inner-city kids a chance to learn some computer skills and support that aspect of this deal, this doesn't even punish Microsoft in the slightest and wasn't that the point behind this settlement in the first place?

In times like this, there's only one thing to say: Republicans. [sigh] Some head-shaking may also be involved on my part.