I'm really not a fan of confrontations. At all. Which is surprising considering my predisposition to hold fast to something if I believe that I'm right. I guess I just don't like being criticized or being faced with a situation where either I'm the bad guy or there's a possibility that things will work out radically worse than I would like them to.

I was up at 6:30 this morning to do my final radio show. I have no idea how I was able to drag myself out of bed after less than 4 hours' sleep, but I did. Was I doing something of value last night that I could at least justify staying up late? Of course not, I was watching City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold on TNT.

All I can say is, thank Jeebus for static electricity. Shocking myself every time I touched the equipment kept me awake. It's no wonder when I did this for a living that I was given the midnight to 6AM shift, not the morning show.

Tonight's episode of "Sex & the City" contained this one thing that really made me think. Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) was talking about how some relationships seem beautiful from the outside aren't so great for those involved in them. And it makes me wonder how many things that holds true for.

I see cracks forming in friends' relationships that might not be noticeable to others, since the picture of a happy couple is projected. I see people doing things that they're not happy with, yet still professing to love their jobs while showing mild signs of discontent. It almost seems like people live two lives: the lives they actually live and the lives they show to others. That may be the reason why we are a Prozac Nation -- it's not cool to be unhappy, it's not fun to be depressed, it's not strong to confess how you actually feel. Meanwhile, it's a rather interesting dichotomy that we are the most prosperous nation in the world, yet we're the ones splashing our depression and malcontent all over the covers of national magazines like Newsweek and the New York Times bestseller list.

So the guy who was supposed to come by this afternoon called exactly when he said he would be here -- but called to say that he had found another place and would not be stopping by. I guess that means that the result is at least my bathroom and kitchen were cleaned. I'm still not so thrilled.

The snow has stopped, the sun is out and is turning everything to mush. Argh.

It's snowing outside. Rather hard, too, and it's those big flakes that you see individually. The unfortunate thing is that it's not sticking at all. The ground is too warm from it having been in the 40s the past few days for it to accumulate which is good in some ways, bad in others. It doesn't really seem like it's snowing unless it accumulates, otherwise it just feels like the air momentarily got too cold for rain but it will be changing back soon. The perfect day to crawl back into bed with my Sunday Boston Globe and to finish the movie I started watching last night.

I sent out a few more e-mails advertising my sublet this morning and got a response, some guy called about half an hour later and got me all excited about being able to sublet until he said that he would only be able to take it through the end of April. I need someone to take it through the end of July, and I don't know if it would be worth it to sublet it to him until the end of April and then try to find someone again in April to sublet through the end of July.

I talked to my parents tonight, they called from New Mexico. I actually spoke to my mom briefly this morning, but this is the first time that I talked to my dad since I had confessed my intentions to go to Los Angeles and try for the Dream Job no matter what. I was pleasantly surprised (and a bit relieved) when my dad said that he was proud of me for making the decision and he thinks it's the gutsiest thing he thinks I've done in a while. They both agreed that if I want something that bad, I should go after it if I'm willing to bleed, sweat and cry for it.

So for a few months, I swallow my pride, I take a pud job and I live with my parents. If that's the sacrifice I have to make to get to where I want to be, so be it. The adventure begins, and I feel for the first time, I'm really taking a firm handle on my life and doing something I want to do, not just kind of aimlessly floating along or taking someone else's suggestion and just kind of halfheartedly running with it.

They're making a statue out of that picture of the three firefighters raising the American flag amidst the rubble of the World Trade Center. The only problem is that they're changing it so instead of it being three white firefighters as it was in the picture, they're making one firefighter black and another Hispanic. While I agree with the whole "we're all Americans regardless of skin color or ethnicity or religion" sentiment, I don't think it should go as far as changing an historic moment. So what if it was three white firefighters who raised the flag at Ground Zero? Out of New York City's 11,500 firefighters, more than 94% are white so the chances that the three guys in that photo would all be white are fairly big. It's not a racial issue, and it's not discrimination against minorities that they're not in that picture.

Political correctness is going a little overboard, and I think when it gets to the point where we're changing the way things happened, then we're crossing the line. Soon, we'll be seeing the made-for-TV movie about the September 11th attacks, and in it we'll see a Hasidic Jew will be helping a group of Arabs out of one of the buildings just before they collapse.

So this time around, I was paired up with Kacy. I've yet to come up with questions for her since I've had so much on my mind, but I can at least answer her questions to give you guys something more to read than my problems.

1. The "Dates From Hell" entries are interesting, if not scary. What is your idea of a "perfect" date? Have you ever been on a perfect date?
A perfect date doesn't have to be anything in particular, just a date where we both enjoy ourselves, conversation flows freely and we're attracted to each other. My perfect date was when I was in college, the girl I was just starting to date had me convinced she was going to a school dance with someone else, but showed up at my a cappella concert at another college that night to take me to the dance. 2. What is your worst fear?
Probably losing my sight or hearing.

3. Better drivers, women or men?
Doesn't matter, I judge on an individual basis. My mom and I are about the same, though she might be a mildly better driver than I am. My dad is a horrible driver. There are some people who I don't trust behind the wheel, and there are some people that I feel comfortable riding with. Though I usually like to be the one driving, and most people seem to think I'm a pretty good driver.

4. What TV show would you really like to see come back in reruns?
I like "The Critic," which Comedy Central runs late on Friday nights. I've also been getting into "Sports Night," which Comedy Central runs weeknights at 1:30AM. I'd love to see "Sports Night" come back to prime time, it's really a great show.

5. Are people inherently good or evil?
It's all about the superego's control over the id.

6. If you had infinite money and time, what would you most like to learn how to do? Why?
Well, I've wanted to learn Spanish for a while because it's useful and plus it's fun to understand what people are saying when they think they're keeping something from you by speaking in a foreign language. My parents used to do that because they lived in Mexico for 4 years and were both fluent in Spanish, but once I was good enough at French, I was able to figure out what they were saying because the root tongue is the same. I still remember how their jaws dropped when they were speaking in Spanish and I told them, "Yes, let's go for ice cream!"

7. What is the most annoying celebrity in the world?
Where do I begin? At present, I'm going to have to say Carrot Top and Dell Dork Steve. But that may change depending on who's annoying me at the moment.

8. If you were turned into a mythical creature (fairy, unicorn, werewolf, etc.) by an evil sorceress, but were given a choice as to what you became, what would you pick and why?
Probably a giant. That way I could travel large distances in a short amount of time, plus I could help swat errant planes.

9. Boxers or briefs?
Boxer briefs, actually. I'm a hybrid man.

10. What is the most thoughtless birthday present you've ever received? The most thoughtful?
The most thoughtless present was probably a t-shirt. The most thoughtful was the car my parents gave me for my 16th birthday when I got my driver's license, though despite the financial burden, it helped them as well because you need a car to get around where I grew up and they both worked, so I could get myself around and they wouldn't have to worry about me.

11. What is your dream car?
For a long time, I wanted a DeLorean. And I had visions of buying an Acura Integra last year, but then I was laid off. Now, who knows? I love my baby, I just hope she continues to run for a while longer.

12. What was your all-time favorite toy when you were a kid? Did you sleep with a stuffed animal or security blanket? Do you still have this stuffed animal or blanket?
My favorite toy was a put-it-together town for Matchbox cars. It was great! I slept with my Curious George, which I still have, and my "blanteen," which I haven't had for years. Mom had two blankets that she thought was identical, but was amazed that I was always able to tell the difference between them. Years later, I told her that one of them had stitching along the end that I liked to run my fingers along and the other did not, that's how I could tell them apart.

13. With regards to your current or past roommates, what is your biggest "pet peeve"?
Lack of consideration for other people and their stuff. Lack of responsibility. Paying the rent on time and not bouncing the checks, keeping the apartment clean and cleaning up after oneself is kind of important.

14. Have you ever been told you are the "spitting image" of someone else? Who did you allegedly look like?
I do look just like my dad, and when I'm with my mom, people think I look like her too. But when I was a freshman or sophomore in high school, one of my teachers showed me a picture of Sylvester Stallone and his son -- I looked exactly like his son, except I wore glasses. It was eery.

15. What's your sign? Do you get along well with other people who are the same sign?
I'm a Sagittarius. Fiery. It shows, doesn't it? As far as getting along with other Sags, I don't ask people what their signs are but I've found mostly that I get along with people I know who are Sags.

I got my HIV test results back. It was negative, as I expected. But it's still good to get tested every few months. Anyone wanna go screw?

According to one of the European Central Bank board members, eating 400 euro notes is toxic and will kill you due to quantities of poisonous ink. So... they're okay to eat in small quantities? And how do they know that it's 400 notes that'll kill a person, did they feed euro notes to someone until they keeled over?

What goes up must come down. It's a simple law, people. Yet there's some morons out there that just don't seem to get it. Like those people in Sydney, Australia, who fired their guns in the air on New Year's at the stroke of midnight. Someone's bullet went up, then came back down and embedded itself in a 9 year old girl's arm. She thought it was just a fireworks wound until X-rays showed it to be otherwise.

I seem to have developed reverse insomnia. Rather than not being able to get to sleep initially, over the past few days I've noticed an alarming trend for me to not be able to stay asleep. I crashed just after "Sports Night" last night (and had problems staying awake during the show as well) but after only 6 hours, I'm awake even though I'm still tired and I could've slept for another few hours. The bad thing is that I am by far not a morning person. I'd much rather be up until the wee hours of the night than awake in the wee hours of the morning.

That's such an odd word. "Wee." Saying it makes me laugh.

By the way, I wanted to let you guys know -- I'm planning on capping the participation soon. There's just way too many people signing up left and right to keep it completely open, it's already just under 200 people. So once membership hits the 200 mark, I'm closing it off and will start taking names for a waiting list -- once someone decides they've had enough or doesn't have enough time anymore to do it, someone new will be admitted. I'll also post this on the Blogger Insider page.

I'm back home in Boston. My dad didn't waste a single moment of time, as I was driving up the ramp to the hotel they're staying at tonight at their airport, he was pestering me to make sure I was exhausting all options to sublet my apartment. It took all of my willpower not to start screaming at him that I was and that I had already done everything that he was telling me to do. I didn't have the patience to tell him that I've decided to bail on radiologic technology school. I did the back-ass-wards thing and told my mom over dinner while my dad was in the bathroom.

On the drive home from dropping them off, I did come up with a decent plan though. Hopefully, it will show financial responsibility, as well as how much I really want this. What I plan on doing is moving back in with my parents [shudder] on February 1, regardless of whether or not I've subletted my room. This will drop my expenses to just rent, nothing more. I'll take a job at one of the casinos near my parents' place since they're always hiring and I'll get health insurance (which is a big pressure point for my parents, they bother me about it every 10 seconds or so), and I'll pay the rent out of my salary but still try to sublet my room. Once the room is sublet, all of my salary will go into savings, and in a few months I'll have a decent chunk of change that I can move out to L.A. and not feel pressured to immediately take whatever pud job comes along, I'll have time to look for something halfway decent that pays well. And then I can wait for the right "real" desk job to come along while I'm puttering along.

I'll call Mom & Dad tomorrow after they've arrived at their first vacation destination to fill them in on this plan, since it'll take a load off their minds, I'm sure. And while it means me having to swallow my pride, at least I'm being "fiscally responsible" and I'm taking their financial need not to support me into account. I just really wish it didn't have to be this way.

I think my youth is officially lost. I read today's paper to find out that someone I went to junior high and high school with was arrested last night for DUI & excessive speeding, and today I also went to the barber I used to go to when I was a kid -- we haven't seen each other in probably 8-10 years -- and the first words out of his mouth were, "Keith! How are you? So are you in broadcasting yet?"

Forgotten dreams, forgotten people, forgotten innocence, forgotten me. I think it's time to end this failed experiment in my life on the East Coast, and at the moment, I'm leaning strongly towards writing Chapter Two: "Go West, Young Man."