So the crappy local paper here ran a story this morning about the Todd Beamer Foundation. Todd Beamer, in case the name hasn't been pounded into your consciousness, was one of the guys on United Flight 77 on September 11 -- he was the one who alerted the outside world that they were going to try to stop the hijackers, and launched the assault with the phrase "Let's roll."

Since then, the phrase has snowballed into having significance well beyond where it probably should have. Neil Young wrote a song about it (titled "Let's Roll") with lyrics such as "let's roll for freedom." T-shirts, bracelets, hats and even mud flaps bearing the words "let's roll" have become a popular commodity all over the country. Here's the problem. The Todd M. Beamer Foundation, which was established in the wake of September 11, filed for trademark rights to the phrase so that they would be the sole moneymaker of "let's roll" paraphernalia. They feel it's not right for others to make money off of the phrase and that money made off sales from "let's roll" stuff should go through them in order for them to distribute it to September 11th victims and their families.

Now here's my problem. First of all, how in hell do you expect to be able to trademark a phrase that was so widely used before September 11th? I've been using "let's roll" for years as a way to get people to leave with me when we're going somewhere, does that mean I can sue Todd Beamer's estate for infringement? Second of all, not all of the money is going towards September 11th victims, the foundation has to recoup costs for producing the materials they're going to sell, plus I'm sure that the foundation members will want to be well-paid for their time. Third of all, how come this is the exclusive Todd Beamer Foundation? I'm sure there's other groups around that, if they wanted, could set up their own foundations in his name. Will they also get rights to the phrase?

My biggest problem is the total commercialism behind this. The Todd Beamer Foundation says they don't want anyone else making money off this -- except them. Well, there's other ways to commercialize this, I think. Was there a Dunkin' Donuts in the mall underneath the World Trade Center? Was someone buying a chocolate creme filled donut at the time when the planes hit? Will Dunkin' Donuts market the chocolate creme filled donut as the Official Donut of September 11th, with partial proceeds going towards September 11th victims and their families?

You can see where I'm going with this. How far is too far? At first, it was enough to show your patriotism by going out and buying anything, just to jump start our economy, then we all had to go out and buy flags to show that we're true blue Americans. Now I need a t-shirt with a specific phrase on it? Pardon me while I show my patriotism by questioning our blind following in these past few months and wondering where the spirit of an individualized America went, since that's the concept that our country was founded on -- the ability to make our own decisions and act individually without fear of persecution or judgment from and by our government and fellow citizens.

Well, folks, the search is over -- I have found a place to live! It's a nice apartment that I'll be sharing (with a woman, no less!) that's not far from where I work. It's modern, the bedroom is large and one of the best things is that with a deposit, I can get a pet. I'll finally be able to get a bunny of my own! I'll move in a week once the current roommate moves out. I'm looking forward to having my own place again.

In other news, I'm feeling a bit outclassed at work -- friends back East who thought I was a musical genius will be astonished to hear that I feel a bit out of my league when discussing music with some of my co-workers. They're so incredibly well-versed in the industry... I'm just hoping that over time, I'm able to pick up more information so that I feel like I can chat with them on a level playing field. Either way, I'm still enjoying work very much, which is such a pleasurable feeling.

Tell me that story again, Daddy. Tell me that story about our great president and how he's fighting the Forces of Evil.

Tell me about how he's protecting our Bill of Rights and our way of life by throwing people in jail just because they aren't American citizens but live within our borders. Tell me about how he's keeping our planes safe by tightening security measures by using people who haven't even graduated high school to read X-ray machines and conduct security checks. Tell me about how he's banned nail clippers from planes so we can't help the hijackers clear up their cuticle problems, but we can take ball point pens that we can stab people through the neck with. Tell me about how he's helping our country prosper by putting our economy back into deficit. Tell me about how he's keeping his administration strong by shielding himself and his people from being attacked for their ties to Enron.

Tell me about those speeches he makes, Daddy. Tell me about how he stands up in front of Congress and makes these flowery orations about being a shining beacon and how we won't back down. Tell me about how he flubs everything he says whenever he's not using a TelePrompter. Tell me about how he can't put together a coherent sentence when he doesn't have it written for him. Tell me about his grand statements full of sound and fury but signifying nothing, since he never actually lays out any substantial points or information, or if he does, it's buried in mounds of sermonesque blather.

Tell me about the pretzel, Daddy. Tell me about how the White House couldn't come up with a better excuse to explain his bruise than to say our president choked on snack food. Tell me about how people secretly suspect he's hitting the bottle again but no one's saying anything about it.

Tell me about the American people, Daddy. Tell me how stupid and blind we're being. Tell me about how we are so faithfully and unquestioningly following our leader that his approval rating is through the roof even though he hasn't actually done anything except send troops to Afghanistan, get a few Americans killed and engineer a coup against a much weaker government. Tell me about how our president will expand his Holy Crusade to cleanse the Earth of Evil will lead him attack other countries without being directly provoked, and may lead to a nuclear exchange or a biological or chemical weapons attack against our own country.

Tell me, Daddy. Tell me about what life was like before Bush's Reign of Terror, and that short time before it when things were relatively peaceful. Tell me about what life was like before he made us all scared for our lives.

I've become addicted to computer Monopoly. It's so incredibly addictive that I'll even start a new game if I lose, and I hate losing to the point where it usually discourages me from trying again immediately.

Signs That You Live in the Middle of Nowhere:
#48: For the second day in a row, the daily newspaper's front page features a huge exposé on a fifth-grader defying a local school's dress code by wearing a "kerchief" (I guess they can't be bothered with the expressions "do-rag" or "bandanna," they may be too ghetto for their delicate sensibilities).

So Americans are kind of ass-backwards in terms of our measurement. We're pretty much the only country still running our own measurement systems -- we don't use metric temperature or distance measurement. And on top of all that, there's no metric measurement for time.

Who was the silly sod who came up with this whole 24 hours in a day and 60 minutes in an hour thing? Did someone arbitrarily come along thousands of years ago and say "Hey, let's screw things up for people thousands of years from now and measure our time in base 12!" We could've chosen a different basis for measuring hours, all we have to do is redefine how long a minute or an hour is.

Then again, we've managed to hang onto the antiquated feet/mile system and the Fahrenheit scale. I'm beginning to think that it's a secret conspiracy by the CIA to try to find another way to make the world bend to our will. It's just a waiting game to see who blinks first, us or all of them.