There's a certain lightheadedness and haze that comes from being sick and taking the medications for being sick. Unfortunately, it's a feeling that is usually desired when you're trying to alter your consciousness, but not so desired when you're trying to work and live life. It's like trying to think through fog even though you're trying ever so hard to concentrate but you just can't, and I have to admit that I spent the better part of today staring at my computer screen at work and thinking to myself, "Okay... now what was I doing five seconds ago?"

It's still a little odd to be seeing places that I know and have been to on national TV. I mean, hell, it may just be the WE channel and this mildly mind-numbing yet highly addictive show Single in L.A. (which I fully blame eve for getting me hooked on), but it's still strange to see them go to bars I've been to, including one that's literally around the corner from my apartment. I mean, this is national television!!! While most people here probably wouldn't be fazed by it, it's still a little wild for me to see. Pardon me while I have my Los Angeles moment. Thanks.

So eve read about my jones for The Daily Show With Jon Stewart and told me I should get Sledge to send me 5 questions to answer. Mind you, the 5 question thing was part of The Daily Show during Craig Kilborn's regime, and Jon only did it during his first week on the job as part of the whole transition thing. But I'll humor her. Here are the questions Sledge sent, along with my answers: 1. George Thorogood: Is he really bad to the bone? Not anymore. He's totally clean. Very nice guy. Although the stories he told... he definitely used to be bad to the bone. One of the funniest stories he told us was about this one time he and his band were playing in Buffalo, and the people in the crowd were riveted to a point just over his head, then in the middle of one of their songs, the audience just got up and walked out. He was told later that the TV mounted over his head was airing the local public access channel at the time, and there there was a guy naked and masturbating on the air while he was performing, and they didn't know. The audience left when the guy was done. 2. Who was originally supposed to play Neo in "The Matrix"? Oh Lord, there was more than one person. Ewan McGregor -- bad career move to do the new Star Wars films than become immortalized in The Matrix -- and Will Smith, who made an even worse career choice by doing Wild Wild West instead of playing Neo. Lord, can you see Will Smith as Neo? "Morpheus, you didn't use that memory flashy-thing on me, did you?" 3. What's the best product for cleaning that hard stain off of the kitchen counter? Simple Green. That stuff'll melt lead. 4. Bill Gates: God Of The World, or Evil Bastard Who Needs To Be Put In His Place? I'll go with Door No. 2, please, Bob. 5. Please name for me at least 5 different writers of ANY Simpsons episode. Umm... Okay, Conan O'Brien, I know that one at least. And I know Matt Groening's written a couple. And David Cohen. Ooh! Ooh! John Frink, who's immortalized the word "glavin" through his namesake on the show. And didn't Al Gore's daughter used to write for The Simpsons too? That last one was hard, with the listing and the writers and the glavin.

It's time for a hostile takeover to defend Remix Central. Eve has told me that she and skits now own 30% of my blog. So I'm trying to get up enough BlogShares to repel boarders by buying them out. So here's where I need your help. I need you guys out there in Blogland to link to me in order to raise my valuation so I can afford to buy more shares in their blogs. I don't care how you link to me, even if it's just a line to say "Keith is a big dork." I need the valuation. Ladies and gentlemen, it's an old-fashioned '80s-style stock war... 21st Century Internet-style. In the words of Bartles & Jaymes, "thanks fer yer support."

Song lyrics that could be misheard if I didn't know what the real lyrics were that have been running through my head all day: 1. Remember that failed attempt at a singing career that Eddie Murphy launched in the '80s? Actually, I guess the first attempt wasn't enough to convince him he can't sing because he came out with another album in the early '90s that featured the wonderful duet with Michael Jackson called "Whatzupwityou." Well, either way, his first failed attempt was with a song called "Party All the Time." The chorus went like this: My girl wants to Party all the time Party all the time Party all the time So help me, there are times when I listen to that song and wonder what his dialect coach was smoking, because I could almost swear he's singing this: My girl wants to Potty all the time Potty all the time Potty all the time 2. Trent Reznor. Bad-ass Trent Reznor. The man who would flay a live bat while performing on stage in a metal cage wearing pleather and programming his own light display (actually, he has programmed his own lighting sequences for his concerts -- he's quite the geek, and he does it on a Mac). The song that made him mainstream, "Closer," contains this lyric line: My whole existence is flawed. I've found out his secret, though. I was listening closely to "Closer" and heard him express his hidden passion for desserts from Spain, because there are times when I think that line really is this: My whole existence is flan. The cool thing about writing this post is that now, I've infected all of your minds. Whenever you hear either of these songs, you'll mishear them as I've told you to. And every time you hear these songs, you'll think of me. My evil plan is working...

There's definitely something evil residing in my body right now, and my immune system isn't doing such a great job fighting it off. Unfortunately, one of the main problems with being sick is that you get that kind of lightheadedness and lack of concentration that makes you just kind of stare blankly at your monitor trying to remember what it was you were doing, and you trail off in the middle of tasks or sentences because you forgot what you...

One of the main reasons why I want to be famous is just so I could be a guest on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. That would be so much fun. Well, that and the money from the oodles of endorsement deals (though not for KFC -- I refuse to do that one just on principle) and the women and the ability to get into A-list parties and chill with cool people like George Clooney and Owen & Luke Wilson and never need reservations anywhere... but Jon Stewart would be pretty damn high up on that list.

Okay, so I'm still dealing with being sick and having been awake until 3:30am last night and having some extra work that I had to take home and the fucking earthquake we just had a few minutes ago!!!, so I'm going to take this opportunity to re-introduce myself to those of you who might've joined us recently and don't know so much about me. I pulled together this List of 100 Things About Me in September. Knock thyselves out... eth. ---- 1. I'm not a morning person. By any stretch of the imagination. I'm not really conscious for a half-hour after I wake up. Some people find watching me during that half-hour amusing. I don't find it amusing that they find it amusing. 2. Conversely, it doesn't matter how long I sleep, it matters what time I wake up. I can sleep 10 hours from 10pm-8am and still wake up not feeling rested, but if I sleep 7 hours from 4am-11am, I wake up feeling okay. 3. I will go far out of my way for my friends. I hardly ever say no when someone asks for a favor, and I sometimes don't even need to be asked in order to do something for someone, I'll do it preemptively. 4. I was born in Brooklyn, and so was my dad. I guess the accent is kind of ingrained in me genetically. Though friends say it only comes out when I'm really drunk or really pissed. 5. I'm not a huge fan of dressing up. I love wearing jeans. I look best in dark colors like black and blue, so I tend to wear them a lot. If I were a bazillionaire, I'd still dress like Steve Jobs. 6. There are a handful of cover songs that I actually prefer to the original version. But not many. And I have little respect for bands who have to redo someone else's song in order to get famous. 7. One summer when I was a kid, my parents signed me up for this summer reading contest at a local library. I was so intent on winning and getting it done that I read all these 300 page books by Isaac Asimov. I didn't understand them that much, but I retained enough of the information that I could regurgitate the information and get credit for reading them, and I won. 8. I try to read the newspaper every day, though I hardly ever get to it in the mornings anymore. I used to read it over breakfast, but I've stopped eating breakfast. 9. I'm firmly of the opinion that it should be socially acceptable for men to have some kind of handbag. Or they need to make carpenter's jeans more popular so we can have more pockets. Women get bags to carry all their crap, but all I can put in my pockets are my wallet and my keys. What about my cell phone and my sunglasses case? 10. I'm a huge fan of people with Australian, Irish or English accents. Women with those accents automatically gain attraction points in my book. 11. I'm very audio-oriented. I love listening to people speak if they have good voices. Sometimes I feel like just telling people, "Talk to me. I don't care what you say. I just like listening to the sound of your voice." 12. I'm also very smell-oriented. I like the smell of vanilla. I also like the "fresh" kind of smell when a room's been aired out -- I don't like musty smells. 13. When I sneeze, my wrists hurt. It's the oddest thing and I don't know why it happens, but it's also damn painful. 14. I'm usually warm. I hate being warm, it makes me uncomfortable. I prefer cooler environments. There's currently a war going on at work over how cold I can get the air conditioning vs. a couple of people who are always cold and want it warmer. We still haven't found that happy medium, but I've been roasting over the past few days. 15. Until I moved to Los Angeles seven months ago, I'd never spent more than 4 weeks at a time outside the states of New York, Connecticut or Massachusetts. That's not to say I haven't traveled. I've traveled a fair amount. 16. I drink a lot of water. 17. I use a lot of pop culture references in conversations. I quote a lot of movies. My friends have gotten to realize that, and it unfortunately backfires on me sometimes when I say something funny and they ask me what movie it's from and it's just something I came up with on the spot. Like I'm incapable of being spontaneously funny? 18. I have a bad habit of saying the lines along with the characters in scenes or movies I've seen too many times. I tend to have to watch these scenes or films by myself, otherwise I annoy the hell out of people. 19. I need freedom of travel. I get a little itchy when I need to rely on others for transportation, and I need to have the option to be able to just go someplace whenever I feel like it, even if it's just to the store to pick up a couple groceries. Making it to my 16th birthday to get my driver's license was one of the longest waits of my life. 20. I grew up on Diet Coke, so I'm used to it. I much prefer its taste to that of regular Coke. Many people tell me they think I'm strange when I say this. 21. It pisses me off when people mix up they're/their/there and its/it's. It's just laziness that they never put in the effort to reinforce in their minds which goes with which. My mom's a horrible speller and makes many spelling mistakes, but she always gets those right. 22. I've never broken any bones, nor have I gone to a hospital for any other reason than to say hi to my father. I should have gone when I had my recent episode of trying to break into my own apartment but I didn't know any better, so 2 1/2 months later, the scars are still there on my knuckles and my arm. They'll probably be there forever now. 23. I procrastinate terribly, but I always get everything done by my deadlines. 24. I will always wear glasses. I can't fathom the ability to be able to touch my eyeball trying to put contacts in and take them out. I'm very squeamish about and protective of my eyes. Although my vision's about 20/600, which means I see things clearly at 20 feet that others see clearly at 600 feet. I don't wear huge thick glasses though. 25. I'm also very squeamish about and protective of my ears. 26. I'm not a big fan of confrontations, and I get a sick feeling of dread in my stomach when I get called to the carpet on something. 27. I can't stand people who are overly cute and sweet to the point of saccharin. I need to be with real people who have a bit of dirt in their personalities. 28. I have a hard time discerning whether someone's being sarcastic or is kidding with me over IM or e-mail unless they use emoticons or some other telltale method. 29. I go through sushi phases. I go for weeks when I have to have it several times a week if not once a day, then I get sick of it and can't touch it for a couple of weeks. 30. The sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me was done by a woman I dated for two years. Ironically, she was also the one who made my life an annex of Hell for most of those two years. 31. Besides summer camp, I've only shared a room with someone for one year, and that was my freshman year of college when I had a roommate. Before then and after then, I've always had a bedroom of my own. 32. I really do listen to all kinds of music. A friend saw my CD collection for the first time and asked if a schizophrenic put it together for me. My music collection is my pride and joy. 33. I've gotten two speeding tickets, and they were within a few days of each other. One was in Ohio, where I was going 90 in a 65 zone but the cop ticketed me for going 84 and it cost me $65. The aggravating part was that two days later, I was stopped in Wyoming for doing 84 (again) in a 75 zone -- only 9 miles over the speed limit, and it cost me $90. 34. I have little respect for police officers given the extent to which I've seen them bend the law. Putting on their lights to make it through an intersection when the light has turned yellow or is red, intimidating someone into speeding by riding their bumper on a two-lane highway where the poor guy can't switch lanes and then pulling them over for speeding, that kind of thing. 35. I watched, but did not understand the mass appeal of, Cool Hand Luke. 36. I have a penchant for enjoying really dumb films, like BASEketball or UHF or Dude, Where's My Car?. That's not to say I don't like intelligent films as well. 37. I have an aversion to movie theatre popcorn. I worked in a movie theatre for a summer and one of my jobs every Tuesday was to make popcorn for the week. Now that I know how it's made, I can't eat it. 38. I firmly believe that Homer Simpson can sometimes unwittingly be one of the most brilliant people on the face of the Earth. 39. I'm usually either very early or around 2 minutes late when I'm supposed to show up somewhere at an appointed time. 40. I'm fairly neat, though I'm disorganized in an organized way. When I let things go to hell on my desk or in my room, it's in specific piles of messes. But that doesn't happen too often. 41. I'm a staunch Macintosh advocate. I hate Windows with a passion. 42. I'm a bit of a gadget freak. I've always maintained that I don't grow up, my toys just get more expensive. 43. I started off in college as a computer science major. But then I learned that I had absolutely no aptitude for coding, nor did I want to sit in front of a computer for 60 hours a week writing gibberish. So I switched to the Most Useless Major On the Planet -- Psychology. Then I graduated college and have had several jobs since that have nothing to do with Psychology. 44. I don't sit Indian-style. It's not comfortable for me anymore. I sit yoga-style with one leg on top of the other. And I do that while sitting in chairs too, especially at my desk. 45. I have no idea where I got my singing and acting talent. My parents are two of the most tone-deaf and non-acting-capable people in the world. 46. I learned how to drive stickshift because the vehicles that the radio station I worked for at the time were stickshifts. The station personnel wanted someone to be able to drive the trucks back from events, and I was always the designated driver because I wasn't 21 yet. So they taught me. 47. I can't draw worth a damn. I can sketch geometric shapes pretty well though. 48. Broccoli and cauliflower are two of my least favorite things in the entire world. I hate them. And snakes too. 49. I can read while riding in a car or on a train or on a bus. Many people ask me how I can do it without getting a headache. I don't know, I just can. 50. I often associate -- and get along well with -- people who are several years older than I am. 51. I've never dated a woman my own age. They've either been a couple of years younger than me or several years older than me. 52. I once dated a woman 10 years older than me. Most people don't believe me when I say that for some reason, and I have a real hangup about women who have a hangup about age being a factor in the people they date. Most people think I'm anywhere from 3 to 6 years older than I actually am when they meet me realtime. 53. Just once -- I want to front a rock band in a big venue and feel the glory of having a huge crowd scream for me. 54. I took French in school because the 8th grade French class got to go to Quebec for a weekend. In retrospect, taking Spanish would've come in a lot more handy and I wish I'd done that instead. 55. I have an old-school original Nintendo. It still works. And I can still beat Super Mario Brothers and Contra, and I still remember the codes to get the extra lives in Contra. 56. I tend to sleep on my side or on my stomach. I have problems falling asleep on my back. So it's hard for me to sleep in cars or on planes. 57. My first concert was Van Halen. 58. I have driven in New York City -- all five boroughs -- and Long Island and lived to tell about it. There are people I know who are scared to drive in New York. I don't consider this to be an extraordinary feat, though. 59. Over the course of my life, I've had two pet rabbits and a pet mouse. They were all very distinctive in personality. To those who say "ewwww" when I say that I had a pet mouse, you never met Lewis. He was damn cute and he was smart too. I still have a particularly soft spot for rabbits and want to get one as a pet again eventually, I just feel it would be unfair to a bunny if I got one now since I'm not home enough to pay it the attention it would need and that I would want to give it. 60. My mom convinced me one year when I was a kid, since my birthday is on the first day of winter, that if we skipped that day, we wouldn't have winter and she didn't want winter so we were skipping that day. 61. For a while, I had a distinct Canadian accent. I don't know where it came from. I've never spent more than a week at a time in Canada, and I've been there only a handful of times. 62. I've never been mugged. I am grateful for that. 63. In several of my jobs, we've used AOL Instant Messenger to communicate between co-workers. A few times, I've been in the middle of an IM conversation and just got up and walked over to the person to continue the conversation realtime because I didn't see the point in having a message go from my computer to a server in Virginia and back to a machine that was less than 10 feet away from my desk. 64. New York-style thin crust pizza is the way to go. I never understood this deep-dish, thick crust stuff. 65. Yes, I've been to band camp. I was in marching band during high school and we used to hold a week of "band camp" right before school started to learn some of the basics. But it was at the school itself, not at an actual camp. Then there was the year I was drum major of the band, and I went away to drum major training at UMass. 66. I seem to be the repository for e-mail spam, and I've been getting an inordinate number of wrong-number calls to both my cell phone and my work phone. Some of those calls are the "cell phone in the pocket/purse accidentally dialed your number and hit send" so I get five minute long messages on my voicemail of nothing. 67. I have several ideas for stories. But I always lose interest after I start writing them. It's one of the reasons why I like blogging, I can write short things. 68. Sometimes I have a really short attention span and am easily distracted, sometimes I can stay riveted to something for hours. I never considered the possibility that I had ADD, and I still won't. 69. I have to make a concerted effort to concentrate on a conversation or a person when there's music playing in the background. My mind automatically tunes into the music to try and figure it out. I've been in the middle of walking with someone and I'll hear a snippet of a song and I'll stop dead wherever I am (even if I'm in the middle of a sentence) while my mind says, "Let's figure out which song it is! It sounds familiar!" My friends find this amusing. 70. I really want to go see Australia and Italy. 71. I dropped acid once by accident. The tab was on a desk I sat at in high school, and it stuck to my hand when I brushed it, though I didn't notice it until I went to bite off a cuticle and it dropped into my mouth. I spit it out and saw what it was. The world became very two-dimensional for a while. 72. I have a Curious George. He's been everywhere with me, and I've had him since I was 1. He's old enough to vote, drive, drink... everything except collect Social Security. He's sitting on top of my desk looking down on me as I write this. 73. I've gone skydiving. I have the videotape to prove it. 74. My two favorite comics of all time are "Bloom County" and "Calvin & Hobbes." I love intelligent humor. 75. I grow hair really quickly. I need to get a haircut every 4-6 weeks. And I get 5 o'clock shadow around 2 in the afternoon. I can grow a full beard in a couple days. 76. I'm quite attracted to Irish women. Red hair and green eyes, or the "Black Irish" complexion of dark eyes and dark hair, is an instant turn-on for me. I like freckles too. 77. I lived in a dorm one year in college that had a really great dryer. It made the clothes quite warm and fuzzy. So a few times, when I did my laundry, I'd try on all the shirts and pants to feel the warmth and fuzziness before I folded up the clothes and put them away. 78. My typing has been clocked at around 100 words per minute. But that's when I'm really concentrating. I usually type around 75-80. 79. I know how to very easily open those little plastic bags they give you in the produce section of the supermarket. 80. I'm a road warrior. I love being behind the wheel. There's few things in this world that are better for me than to be out on the open road on a beautiful day with some good music. 81. Until last year, I'd never been to a strip club. Then I went to three in the space of about five months. That is what unemployment and having unemployed friends will do to a man. 82. I actually have seen one of the "Girls Gone Wild" videos. I didn't buy it. I was over a friend's place and a bunch of guys there insisted my friend put his roommate's copy in the VCR so they could watch it. I guess these white upper-class preppy boys considered it porn. 83. Because my parents are technologically inept, I've had to perform tech support for them over the phone many times, especially now that I'm 3000 miles away from them. They once called me right after I'd left for college to ask me how to program the VCR and I had to explain it to them long-distance. 84. I don't have any fears about flying, not even after 9/11. My only fear about travel is that the airline will lose my luggage. I don't get tense until I get off the plane at my destination. 85. My index fingers are curved. They noticeably bend in towards my other fingers. 86. My pen of choice is a Sanford Uni-ball micro with black ink. I keep a private stock so I can resupply my desks at work and home. I get pissed when people steal my pens at work, and more than once, I have hunted down the culprit and gotten my pen back. 87. I do imitations and several accents really well. I was at a Halloween party dressed up as an Indian (from India, not a Native America) and called myself "The Bhagwan From Brooklyn," and I spoke in an Indian accent all night. At one point, I dropped the accent for a minute and told the woman I was talking to, "I'm gonna get a drink, you want anything?" Her jaw dropped to the floor and she said, "Wait... what happened to the accent? Aren't you from India?" She was probably drunk though. 88. I'm allergic to cats. I like 'em a lot and they like me a lot too, but I can't be near them for more than a couple of minutes. 89. I can use chopsticks quite well. I couldn't at all for a long time, then I went to a place in New York's Chinatown where they didn't have silverware -- hell, they didn't even speak English that well at all and we were the only Caucasians in the entire place -- and suddenly, I could use chopsticks. 90. I sometimes believe that I'm the only person in the world who's noticed that Whoopi Goldberg doesn't have any eyebrows. 91. Every permanent residence I've lived in has been less than 10 miles from either the Atlantic or the Pacific Ocean. 92. The lead singer from Unwritten Law once temporarily deafened me. I was standing in the alley in back of the Palace Theatre here in L.A. waiting for my friend to introduce the band and join us backstage when the group's lead singer ran up next to me and screamed into a megaphone. I wasn't so happy. 93. I like candles. 94. I don't normally allow people to take pictures of me. I don't like seeing myself on TV or in pictures, and I don't like listening to recordings of myself singing either. I don't know why. 95. If I ever start a band, I will call it "Evil Petting Zoo." And I've also come up with potential album titles: Songs To Have A.D.D. To and Treble Without A Cause. No, you can't use them. 96. I actually like Fresca. And I can still find it in my local supermarket. 97. Someone really did once find out that I'm Jewish and then ask me where my horns were. I was not so pleased. 98. When I send IMs to people, I don't use capital letters. 99. I was conceived in Guadalajara, Mexico. My parents lived there for 4 years. 100. It took me entirely too long to come up with 100 things about me for this list.

So, I'm feeling pretty uncreative tonight. Instead of my usual witty content, enjoy this lovely photo of me grabbing a giant lingerie-clad ass at the Hustler store on the Sunset Strip. (Click on the photo for a bigger version. Picture courtesy of Francisco.)

I've been trying hard not to think about the war. Things in Iraq are bogging down, and it won't be as quick and easy a fight as we had originally thought. The consequences, both abroad and domestic, are not going to be pretty. At some point, the whirlwind we've reaped will come down around our ears, and I'm expecting some kind of terrorist action here Stateside. It's interesting, though, how the war has turned into a real reality TV program -- carried live on all the networks, people are dying! Ratings galore! Those aren't special effects, those are real explosions! It's also interesting how divided we are because of the war -- those who are for it and those who are against it, those who are watching it and eating up all the coverage they can find and those who are going about their lives normally. Today, one of my co-workers tried to convince me that I should take a job that just opened up programming a kick-ass radio station in Salt Lake City, he said he could hook me up. Salt Lake City. With the snow and the Mormons and the snow and the lack of bars and the Mormons and the cold and the Mormons and the mountains and the big lake and the snow and the Mormons. I think the only upside to that situation would be the job and the fact that I'd once again be in the same state as dooce and DJ Blurb. Thoughts? Post in the comments. And now, the open letter to Mr. John Travolta: Dude. I have a confession to make. I have had a big crush on your wife ever since I first saw her in SpaceCamp. Her opening line in Jerry Maguire was one of the best character introductions I've ever seen in a film. And she's hot. Very hot. On top of that, we all know you're as stark raving gay as the day is long, so can I have her before you give her up to the Scientologists as a present to the Grand Llama so he'll let you onto his spaceship when he decides to leave Earth? In closing, I find it scary how eerily accurate my horoscopes have been over the past two days.

So, I was flipping channels and passed Skinemax, and as per their usual late-night programming, they were running their soft-core porn. The big difference between Skinemax porn and regular porn is that they can't show guys' equipment, nor can they show actual penetration or oral sex. This leads me to the question... are they actually having sex when they film the scenes, or are they just acting?

Pleased to meet you. I'm a partial insomniac. I say partial for a number of reasons. One is that no matter what, I will eventually fall asleep. I don't spend days on end staying up because I can't get to sleep -- I will get there, even if it's not until 3 or 4 or 5 in the morning. Another is that there are nights when I just can't keep my eyes open and I'll end up crashing at 11pm or so. Yet another is that it comes and goes, I'm not up that late every night and there are long stretches where I have no problems getting to sleep. And I've always been able to cover it well -- caffeine has become a useful tool when I need it, and I can make up good excuses with the best of them. "Well, 'Office Space' was on last night and I just got wrapped up in it..." I'm a worrier by nature. I don't like it when things are out of my control. Not that I'm a control freak, but I'm one of those people who, for some unknown reason, tends to hope for the best but prepares for the worst... and then all those what-ifs come into play and I think to myself, Well, you wouldn't be preparing for the worst unless there's a possibility that the worst might actually come to pass, you dork. For that reason, I need something playing in the background at all times. I think that's one reason why I'm so addicted to music: it lets me concentrate on the music and let it flow through me, cleansing my mind. I don't have to think about all the things running through my head, and all the questions and discussions I have with myself don't pile up. It's why I need music playing whenever I'm in the car by myself or when I'm walking by myself -- in fact, whenever I get frustrated or upset and need a break from things as they stand, I pack up my portable CD player and go for a walk. It's my own form of escapism. I don't have to deal with all the crap going on in my head. And if there's nothing to distract me, the questions and discussions and all the little what-ifs come flooding back into my head. It's a thin line I tread: I need something there to slow my mind down and empty it so I can actually get to sleep, but I can't sleep if the sound changes at all because it'll jar me awake out of that half-asleep reverie/state -- so I can't play CDs or the radio to lull me to sleep. But without those things like a CD or the radio, I won't be distracted enough to be able to let my mind wander to the point where I know I'm in the process of falling asleep. So here I am. It's 1am, and the prospect of sleep is very appealing because I am very tired and I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. But every time I close my eyes, my mind jumps to warp speed, I start thinking about things and I lose all hope of falling asleep at a quasi-reasonable hour. There are times when all the world's asleep, The questions run too deep For such a simple man... -- Supertramp, "The Logical Song"

So, the Beastie Boys came out with an anti-war song and no one batted an eyelash. I'm still hearing Beastie Boys songs on the radio, no one's really discussing the issue. But mention the Dixie Chicks, and everyone this side of Neptune knows what's going on with them, including the massive let's-crush-our-Chicks-CDs and let's-burn-our-Chicks-tickets protests and let's-not-play-the-Chicks-on-our-radio-stations movements. I'm a little disturbed by the double standard. Speaking of double standards, Arika has a great post up on her site that basically sums up a lot of the questions that are still burning in my mind about this whole war. Quite frankly, this isn't a war... it's a rout. When we fight a battle to take an enemy city and we lose less than 25 soldiers in the entire battle -- that's a very mismatched war. The anti-war protestors were conspicuously absent from Wilshire Boulevard over the entire weekend. Either they've given up, or they had other, more pressing engagements this weekend than to continue their crusades. Apparently, that Saturday night party or restaurant reservation was a little more important to them than their beliefs -- either that, or they knew they wouldn't make it onto the local news because of the Oscars. It'll be interesting to see if they're back on the streets tomorrow. And to continue commenting on the mess we're in, here's a quote a friend of mine forwarded to me this weekend: "Naturally, the common people don't want war, but after all, it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag people along whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country." The person who said that? Hermann Göering, Reichsmarshall of Hitler's German Third Reich. He said it during his Nuremburg war crimes trial. And no, it's not an urban legend.

Visual: Me, up on a podium in front of hundreds of people in a well-decorated auditorium, wearing jeans because it's an effort to get me to wear anything else a dashing tuxedo because the event deserves it. Wow... uhh... wow. For lack of a better expression, I'm going to have to blatantly pilfer from the Grateful Dead: "What a long, strange trip it's been." Yeah. So. Anyways, I'd like to thank my parents, who made me possible and made it possible for me to do what I'm doing. I'd like to thank Aimee, who initially pushed me to start blogging. And I'd really like to thank Eve and kd, who've worked tirelessly behind the scenes to keep my site running and available to the public and are responsible for the changes you will (hopefully) soon be seeing here. They're the best. And especially Eve, who has not only supported me with my online stuff, but has also been helping me offline with personal matters as well. And, of course, thanks to all of you, the readers who made this possible. If it weren't for you... [insert choking up here] ...I wouldn't be writing for you today. Thank you! [Cue orchestra]

Okay, so some guy left this comment on my site in the "Get your war on" entry below: This weird guy called the TheDanceMan has footage of the commander talking about "Hammertime" - with the MC Hammer Track mixed into the background, and then with him dancing to the war footage. It's hilarious. Check it out. Hey, loser... if you're going to promote yourself in my comments, make sure your IP address tagged with finding my site by searching for "Hammertime" and "president+says+go" doesn't match your IP address in my comments. So, beware TheDanceMan, for he is a spammer! That's my public service announcement for the day. I've done something good, now I can sleep.