Okay, so I said someone was probably going to die over The Passion of the Christ, but I didn't think it would happen this way: A woman who went to a Wednesday screening with some of her co-workers had a heart attack during the crucifixion scene and later died. And this is the same movie that some priest in the South wanted to rent a theatre and make a whole bunch of fourth graders go see because they needed to know how Jesus died for their sins? Pal, the movie got an R rating for a reason, fourth graders can live without it. But I still think someone's going to die over this film, and I'm talking in some random fit of violence -- probably anti-Semitic. So this random meme thing, I'll give it a whirl. Especially with my parents arriving in town today for the weekend, I'll need all the mental health I can take, and music provides it. So I hit "generate random playlist" on iTunes and then just see what the first 10 songs it comes up with are? Hmm... seems pretty easy. "Fred Astaire" - Lucky Boys Confusion "Sugar Cane" - Space Monkeys "Long Cool Woman" - The Hollies "Naveed" - Our Lady Peace "Cut Here" - The Cure "FNT" - Semisonic "So Long Mom (I'm Off to Drop the Bomb)" - Tom Lehrer "It's My Life" - Bon Jovi "Poison" - Bell Biv DeVoe "Hear You Me" - Jimmy Eat World My iTunes rules because it picks such cool songs for me. Of course, it's got a pretty kickass selection to choose from...

Will someone please alert me the next time the country's going to take a screeching yank to the right? I'm still reeling from the centrifugal lurch on that one. And to think, this whole brouhaha started with Janet's boob. I have as much of a problem with these shock jocks as the next person. Personally, I think they're crude, rude, disgusting and just plain not funny. However, I understand that free speech means that I have to stand by and allow them to say what they want, defending their right to say it to the death because it also means they have to defend my right to say whatever I want. What it all boils down to is... if you don't like what you're hearing, change the station. It shouldn't be up to the government to regulate what people are seeing and hearing. It all comes down to good parenting and recognizing that there's no such thing as "moral law" in this country -- because whose morals are you imposing on others?

It smells like radiator coolant outside. The rain is pouring down -- while I made fun of the natives for freaking out about the rain earlier today because it was the lead story on the 11am TV news and some areas were talking about voluntary evacuations, it's coming down fairly hard, even for my standards. It's times like these that make me want to climb into bed, turn on the TV and snuggle into flannel sheets, then fall asleep to the sound of the rainfall. I've not been feeling quite myself lately, though I don't know exactly what's affecting me. Work, personal life, weight gain, stress... any number of things could be adding up to affect me. The overwhelming sense of ennui and need for a few mental health days is starting to get to me though... despite the fact that I'd like to have some furniture and a TV in my bedroom before I camp out here. But having my own apartment is like having my own little comfort zone, and I like that. I can only hope that as the rain washes away all that is unclean outside, it will also wash away all that is undesirable within me.

You'd think, after living in Los Angeles for two years, that by now I'd have learned which channels the major networks are on. Unfortunately, my brain screwed things up and instead of taping last week's Scrubs, I rewound the tape and the program started with a dead woman lying on a carpet with her head bashed in. I thought to myself, Scrubs has been getting a little more risqué these past few weeks, but I didn't think they'd go this far..., and then I realized what happened -- I taped the wrong damn channel. It basically boils down to the fact that I'm a dumbass, and I need TiVo to help bring order back to my life. Mmmm... my preciousssssssssssss...

So I'm in the midst of a cell phone number port from AT&T Wireless to Verizon Wireless. When I walked into the store and told the guy that I'm an AT&T Wireless subscriber and I'm fed up with not having a signal, he laughed and said, "Yeah, we hear that a lot." The problem with the number port is that it's not instantaneous. I can make outgoing calls on my new Verizon phone, but all incoming calls still go to my AT&T Wireless phone and will continue to do so for possibly up to another 2 days. So I'm carrying around two phones with me at the moment, because I have no idea when the port will go through. I have to admit that this situation has given rise to two situations that were kind of weird to me: 1. Calling my own number to see if the port had gone through and seeing my AT&T phone light up with the caller ID reading my own number. 2. Calling someone on my Verizon phone, only to have her call me back on my AT&T phone while I'm leaving a message, so I'm talking on one phone while the other starts to vibrate in my pocket. I thoroughly annoyed the Attachment™ last night by taking both phones out of my assorted pockets at various points and comparing signals by waving my AT&T phone in the air and saying, "Nooooo signal!" and then waving my Verizon phone in the air and saying, "Fullllll signal!" in the same voice that that Muppet on Sesame Street used to say "Neeeeeeear!" and "Faaaaaaaaar!" In other news, Saturday marked my two-year anniversary of living in Los Angeles. I rolled into town on February 21, 2002 and started my job on February 26, 2002. Odd to think that it's been two years here, and yet I still don't know my way completely around the city and am still discovering new places. It's also odd to think that this is the longest I've ever held a job (by choice -- not by firing... I kept getting better offers from different companies and was job-jumping during the tech boom). UPDATE: My port just went through! I don't have to carry two phones around anymore, yaaaaaaay! I can hear you now!

Okay, first, check out the shaolin kung-fu stylings of Mr. Donald Rumsfeld. Man, if I wasn't afraid of him before, I sure as hell am now. And now for something completely different... imagine a world not in the much-distant future... The year is 2019... Following her stunt at Super Bowl 39, Janet Jackson has been banned from the entertainment business and has fallen upon hard times. Unfortunately, she has spent almost all of her money on legal fees, defending herself from the censors in Washington, DC. She now works at a McDonald's in their drive-through window as a cashier. Don't feel bad for her, Janet has a very tough personality. She refuses to let her plight steal her spirit.

Okay... so... umm... where's Osama bin Laden? I was told over 2 years ago that finding him was Priority No. 1. In the meantime, we've overrun two countries -- one of which we thought we were being provoked by but then, oops!, guess not, sorry, don't we look sheepish -- we're going back to the moon for no apparent reason, and our economy looks like Dresden after World War II... Did I mention our Fearless Leader is taking back all of his promises on job numbers and security and things like that? I love how still no one's questioning him. Even blotchy stupid Bill O'Reilly, who promised to go on Good Morning America to apologize to the country if we didn't find WMD in Iraq, made a copout plea and said he didn't blame President Moron, he blamed the intelligence community. And then I think, It's too early for politics. I wonder what's on TV? You know who's on my TV? Ashton Kutcher. Lord, deliver me from Ashton Kutcher. Will someone please explain to me how this moron got so popular? Ooh... have I mentioned how much AT&T Wireless is pissing me off?

Is it just me, or is MTBlacklist not doing much good at all? I'm still getting whomped by spammers. Thoughts?

The place is really starting to feel like home, which is great. Less than a week here, and I'm already seeing the benefits of living alone. I just desperately need some kitchen supplies and some furniture. And I think it'll all really start to sink when when I start getting bills to this address and think to myself, Wait a minute... I don't have anyone to split the cost of this with!!! For some strange reason, my dreams recently have been disturbing and involve me being chased, and usually also involve people and/or places from my past. Ever read the book or see the (bad) miniseries for Robin Cook's Invasion? Yeah, I was living that last night. In other news, I'm encouraged by the fact that schmucky old Bill O'Reilly actually said he is skeptical of the Bush administration, but he blamed it all on the intelligence community instead of blaming it on President Moron himself. Well, it's a start, I guess. Here's a nice little forward to make you think about while you're contemplating how well your money is spent and that record deficit this country is now sporting... When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil. Enjoy paying your taxes -- they're due again.

Awwww yeah. The unpacking is almost entirely done, all I need to do is put the pictures up on the wall. And in a couple of weeks, furniture. Then all will be complete. Casa de Keith will be in full effect. Quite frankly, I hate moving, and I'm so glad it's over because I was eating everything in sight due to the stress. So, I'm watching Blind Date. And quite frankly, I have no idea, given the men who are on this show, just why I was single for so long. Either that, or they do their casting at mental hospitals. And in another random media note, given the short attention span of America and how quickly they've been churning out franchise sequels/installments recently, I'm surprised it took them so many years to come out with Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. How many unwillling men are going to be dragged to that movie by their attachments? And in yet another random note, why is people sucking on helium and talking so damn funny?

I woke up before sunrise this morning to finish packing the final, final items before the movers get here. I can't remember the last time I was up before sunrise. The funny thing about sunrise is that despite the fact that weathermen always give us a specific time for sunrise, it's never like the cartoons where the sun just suddenly pops up. You just look up and notice, "Hey, it's noticeably brighter than it was 15 minutes ago." And you do that again every 15 minutes or so until guess what? The sun's already up. The next time I post, I will be firmly ensconced in my new apartment. One chapter of life closes, another begins. Wheeeeee... now where's my damn TV remote?

So, I have AT&T Wireless. They're starting to seriously suck. I'm having a debate as to whether to switch to Verizon or Cingular. Anyone in the L.A. area have any thoughts as to which I should go with?

A fairly interesting weekend, starting with a business lunch on Friday at Spago where I saw Kevin Kline sitting a couple of tables away, a farewell party for a co-worker who I really liked, then packing for most of the weekend and hauling some stuff to the new place, followed by the discovery today that one of my friends is dating Aaron Sorkin. And the sad thing is, I don't even have time to take any of this sitting down, I have so much more stuff to pack and get ready for the Big Haul on Wednesday.

Okay, this had me and several co-workers on the floor, we were laughing so hard from watching it... and watching it... and watching it... But dammit, she deserved that.

So, in less than a week, I'll be moving into my new apartment. This place has it all -- everything I wanted, a dedicated off-street parking spot, a dishwasher, new appliances, lots of space... I'm finally getting a place of my own, and it will kick ass. None too soon, apparently. I came home from my weekend in San Francisco to find that someone had gone into my bedroom and stolen two big stacks of quarters I had sitting on my desk that were intended for laundry. Also taken was a separate, smaller pile of special bicentennial quarters that a friend had given me. No one seems to be owning up to it. In other exciting news, someone who I've become very close to is finally coming to L.A.! It's only for a short visit, but we've conducted our entire friendship over e-mail, phone and IM, so it will be interesting to finally meet each other in person. (Before you ask, she's not a blogger. This is someone I met through work.) And now, for something completely different: Man Lives With Dead Brother for 18 Months.