The fact that I saw Harold from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (a.k.a. the MILF guy from American Pie) tonight walking into the movie theatre (possibly even to see his own movie!) makes me want to go see it even more. The fact that I saw Jack Osbourne this afternoon realize there's a reason why I never watched The Osbournes and I never plan to either.

Yesterday, I inadvertently swore in front of a Catholic nun. This morning, the FBI called me. Damn, when they say "all-powerful," they're not fooling around.

How do seedless grapes reproduce? ...yeah, I'll be up all night trying to figure that one out.

Tucson and the seven-hour return trip: It's been a long while since I've seen sunlight streaming down from the sky like this... It's also been a while since I've actually seen weather. That grey you see streaming down from the sky on the right is actually rain. This Methodist church in Tucson was actually built on top of an old Titan missile silo. They took out the missile, filled the giant hole with concrete and built a house of worship on top of it. The desert shore is purty... There really isn't anything between Phoenix and Los Angeles. Even in Phoenix, the signs only list the next major thing the freeway will pass through as Los Angeles. As high as the numbers on my speedometer were... ...they never got as high as the numbers on the thermometer outside. Damn, it was freakin' hot in the desert! Sunset in the desert. Sunset on the Coachella Valley. The wind farm outside of Palm Springs... in this picture, it almost looks like a spooooooky wind farm.

Am I the only movie geek out there, or did anyone else have the unpleasant realization this afternoon that, according to Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, July 24, 2004 is Judgment Day, the day Skynet took over and launched a full-scale nuclear assault on humankind?

Well, I'm finally getting my chance to get the hell out of Dodge. And it's about time -- I seriously need some time away, and I need some therapy on the open road with me & my CD player. So after work tomorrow, I hop in the car and make the overnight desert run to my parents' place in Tucson. I'll be making my way back on Sunday afternoon/night, but until then, here are some lovely mashups to completely tweak with your head (and no, the fact that they both involve Oasis is not intentional -- these are just the ones running through my head right now). Right-click and save as, yo. My buddy Party Ben whipped this one up: Stereoasis - "Superconnected (Oasis vs. Stereo MCs)" BigBadBaz threw this one together: "I Want Your Wonderwall (Jackson 5 vs. Oasis)"

As I'm sure many of you know, I'm a member of a couple different online dating websites. And many of you have heard my tales of horrid dates and occasional pleasant experiences that result from my interactions from some of the women on these sites. [begin rant] What I can't stand are the people who don't respond. Look, I've taken the time and initiative to approach you, you can't even bother to send me back a note saying "no thanks, I'm not interested"? Or even send one of those automatic decline e-mails through the system? If I approached you in a bar, I'd like to think you'd at least have the manners to say, "No thanks, I'm not interested" (hopefully with a smile). So why aren't you doing the same online? I'm still going to feel as unsettled and insulted if you just plain ignore me in the bar as when you don't respond to my e-mails. And if you're not looking around online to find someone to date, then get the hell off the site. [/rant]

Visiting Mikey's entry about the supposed one-pound burger at Carl's Jr. took me back a ways to my days in Boston. There's a place in Harvard Square that's pretty well-known to the locals called Mr. Bartley's Burger Cottage (more commonly just known as "Bartley's") which has the best burgers I've ever had and they actually do have a one-pound burger, which yours truly has devoured and then couldn't eat anything for a day and a half afterwards. But I only did it once, and I usually got one of their other burgers when I was there. I remember once I was there with a friend, eating outside, when, for some reason, we both looked over at this woman walking down the street. It's not that she was particularly attractive, it's that we both instinctively realized that if she didn't change her course, the child whose hand she was holding (and who was probably her son) would walk straight into the parking meter sticking up from the sidewalk. I personally thought the kid, who looked to be about 5 years old, would realize this even if Mommy didn't and move out of the way. But he didn't. He walked headfirst right into the meter, and the damn thing went "WANG!" as it all reverberated -- I swear, I even heard change inside the meter rattle. The kid was so stunned he just fell back on his ass on the sidewalk without even crying. Mommy didn't really even ask if he was okay, just said, "Didn't you see the meter?" and then hauled him back up and made him start walking again. To this day, I know I should find this to be a sad story, but it still makes me laugh my ass off just as much as when it initially happened and my friend and I burst into laughter after seeing it. Schadenfreude strikes again, but it was just one of those perfect America's Funniest Home Video moments.

Even from an early age, men know what's important. Seen here: a young man with his two favorite toys...

Even in a venue as entertaining and dumb as the theater where Anchorman is playing, you know you're in a liberal community when, at the end of the film after everyone has spent an hour and a half laughing at some really dumb material, the narrator announces that the really stupid character went on to become an advisor for the Bush administration and everyone in the theater breaks into applause.

It was a gorgeous night for a concert -- especially one as kickass as the one that Maroon 5 put on. They were stellar -- it was my second time seeing them play live, and their disc is still on my top 10 all-time desert island discs. But it was even more stellar going backstage and meeting them -- I was able to get a picture taken with the band and another one of my co-workers, but I won't get that picture until Monday. I finally met Lisa Foxx from Star 98.7, though my friend Kate was much more excited to meet Jake Gyllenhaal. Strangely enough, of the two of us, I was the one who jumped on him. Kelly Lynch was also there, but I didn't get a chance to talk to her. Living in Los Angeles can get a little surreal sometimes. Although sometimes it's a little hard remembering, hey -- they're just people too.

Register to win a year of free In-n-Out Burger and Coffee Bean drinks. Mmmmmmm... In-n-Out Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurger... [insert Homer Simpson drooling noise here] A friend of mine once told me a story about an interview featuring Dan Castellaneta's wife (Dan, of course, voicing Homer and about six dozen other characters on The Simpsons). She said that it's not really like being married to a celebrity because no one knows what he looks like and Homer is a character voice so it's not the way he normally speaks. You could literally be standing next to him in line somewhere, strike up a conversation and never know. But then there are those times... like if she makes up a plate of sandwiches, leaves them in the kitchen and then goes down to the basement, she'll hear him walk across the kitchen floor and then hear Dan say in Homer's voice, "Mmmmmm... saaaaaaaaaandwiches." And that's what it's like being married to Homer Simpson.

This week at work has burned me out more thoroughly than any other in a very, very long time. I feel so utterly drained in a variety of different ways, and it's affecting my mood as well, even though I got a stellar compliment from one of my co-workers today whose opinion I thoroughly respect. I told someone recently that my mood sine-waves... I don't maintain the level of boisterousness and outgoingness that I usually present to the public -- in fact, one of my close friends once kept questioning me and thought something was seriously wrong when I was on one of my downcycles and was quiet. Apparently, even those who know me well don't think it's possible for me to be down and/or quiet. But it happens, and it usually happens when I'm alone. Although I crave alone time, I wonder if it's maybe not so great for me. I think I need some time away from this life... to just recharge. But the funny thing is, when I'm away, I just think about how I wish I could get back to my creature comforts and my familiar surroundings. Odd. Here's a little something to enjoy on this mellow night. Remember that guy who called his one-man band Primitive Radio Gods? The one who did that great song "Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money in My Hand"? Well, here's a little something else from him: Primitive Radio Gods - Fading Out Right-click and save as, please.

Okay, maybe it's because I'm so completely fried from work this week, but those Six Flags commercials with the Vengaboys song and the dancing old dude dressed in the suit with the red bowtie? Cracks. Me. Up. Every time. Never fails to bring a smile to my face. Yeee haw.

Tuesday, 9:45am: I am getting my stuff together for work and am so proud of myself that I remembered everything I wanted to bring with me to work today. I am even leaving the apartment a little earlier than I usually do! I am so on the ball today. Wednesday, 1:10am: I arrive home after a 12-hour workday and a few hours of beer, socializing and relaxation to find that the microwave is blinking "END" -- meaning it's reached the end of the time it's been set to microwave for is over. I have the horrifying realization that the soy sausage patty that I put in the microwave 15 1/2 hours earlier to cook for breakfast... yup, it's still sitting in there, and that might explain why the kitchen needs a little fresh air.