Another Saturday night, another Halloween party, another night spent fruitlessly talking to extremely attractive and intriguing and funny yet married women because there were no single women to be found. And now, for those of you who watch Real Time with Bill Maher, here's my own personal "New Rule" for the week (and for those of you who don't watch Real Time, you should -- if you don't have HBO, break into someone's house who does... just not mine). New Rule: NO MORE FRIGGIN' COVER SONGS! If you can't write and perform something original, you shouldn't be allowed to record it and foist it on the masses. There's enough crap out there that we don't need even more unoriginal material than the formulaic drivel being pushed on the general populace at present.

I've been under siege by blog spammers the last couple of days and I have no idea what suddenly brought on the deluge, but I will say this: The definition of "irony" is getting a spam comment where the e-mail address left with the comment includes "NOSPAM." By the way... I was in an elevator yesterday at work with Jeffrey Jones, who played Ed Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. It took every ounce of restraint to not turn to him and say, "Niiiiine tiiiimes..."

Anyone out there know how I can get my hands on a copy of today's Boston Globe? Good news comes in pairs. Remember all that madness last month about my dad and how Death was stalking him with a bazooka? Well, I found out this morning that my dad actually did not have a third heart attack as he had previously thought, and the strength of his heart following the quadruple bypass is increasing to the point where he's no longer in full-on danger-Will-Robinson mode. Suffice it to say that despite all the grief he'll give me in the coming years over how I'm not living my life correctly, I'm still pretty damn happy that he'll be around to give me that grief. In other news, voter turnout in the 2000 presidential elections was just over 51%. This means that slightly more of half of registered voters in America voted in the last election -- and that says nothing about the amount of eligible and unregistered voters. Look, folks, this is one of the most important elections in recent history. And on top of that, our troops are fighting, getting injured and dying over there in Iraq so that we can install democracy -- and how hypocritical are we being by saying "they need to follow our example and be democratic" when the example we're setting sucks? Vote. You probably have figured out where my political stance lies, but quite frankly, I'd rather people just go out and vote rather than just sit and home and let this one pass by. It's too important. Lead by example, and support our troops by exercising your right to democracy -- even if you don't support our current president.

Honestly... for the first time in a long time, I am speechless. History was made tonight -- not only did the Red Sox almost blow it by coming within an inning of being eliminated in the ALCS, they made the most spectacular comeback in post-season history and went on to sweep the World Series. 86 years. The last time the Sox won a World Series, World War I was just coming to a close. Almost everything we have today didn't exist. There were no microwaves, no computers, no Internet, no cable TV -- all these things we use on a daily basis were decades away from existence. I will remember for the rest of my life that the night the Red Sox broke the Curse of the Bambino and won the World Series to become champions, I was sitting in Red Rocks Bar on the Sunset Strip, watching the game with a close friend who I hadn't seen in two years and was so happy to be getting to know her again. I told her that she would forever be etched in my memory as being there when the Sox won. I will always remember that my best friend called right when the play was being made for the last out to tell me that the Sox won. I will always remember that one of my friends from work called to tell me his 70-something-year-old mother was crying for 15 minutes because she was so happy. For the first time in years, I wish I was back in Boston right now. What else can I say but... SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!

When I was in my final months of living in Boston, I couldn't wait to get out of the city. If I didn't leave, I'd have run screaming down Comm Ave with a Supersoaker filled with red paint, spraying everyone in sight. If I hadn't gotten out, I seriously would've done some damage. I was sick to death of the sight of the place. Two and a half years later, I don't think there's anywhere else in the world I'd rather be. Seeing the Red Sox take Game Three of the World Series while watching with a friend/co-worker who's also a Sox fan was great, but should they clean up... well, I'd be surprised if Boston is still standing the next day. And when the Sox won the ALCS, I got a few drunken phone calls from friends in Boston who wished I was there to celebrate with them. What I wouldn't give to be in that crowd when it gathers to celebrate a World Series victory -- the first in 86 years. Although I'm counting my chickens before they've hatched... the Red Sox haven't won yet. On the other hand, we have Spokane, where I spent my weekend. Not exactly the most urbane place in the country. Homeless people were panhandling on several street corners -- some even in the same intersection. The Hell's Angels brazenly have their meetinghouse on the main street, with a sign hanging out front with their logo and everything. That said, Spokane still has some redeeming qualities (besides the fact that my best friend lives there). It's got a great Mongolian barbeque where we went for dinner on Sunday called "Hu Hot" (which I've been referring to as the more colorful and fun name of "Ho Hut"). And only someone with a great sense of humor could come up with this. Hint: Read the "We gladly accept" part on the door.

From Saturday's party... me with my best friend. From last week at work... me with Ronnie DeVoe. (Think New Edition, and think Bell Biv DeVoe. Yeah, smack it up, flip it, rub it down, oh noooooo... that.)

How did my weekend rule? Let me count the ways... 1. It was so completely freaking awesome to see my best friend and her husband again. I love them. They are just all-around cool & fun people, and I see them not even close to enough. I would totally see them more often, but despite the fact that I was in and out of Spokane in about 26 hours, the traveling wore me down to the point that when I stumbled in my front door at 1am this morning, I felt like I'd been away for a week. 2. Their party ruled. They completely decorated their entire house like a mummy's tomb with fake stone paneling with hieroglyphics carved in, and they made mummies and sarcophagi and those little bottles Egyptians used to put their deceased's organs in after embalming. My best friend dressed up as Anck-su-namun from The Mummy and her husband was Anubis with the animal head and all. I ended up wearing a long white shirt that a friend brought back from India along with some sandals and a white towel wrapped up in a turban, which everyone said I pulled off well especially since I can do the accent, and the outfit looked really cool under the blacklight because I was wearing all white. There were mass quantities of alcohol and peanut M&Ms consumed, and there were tons of cool people there, except for some annoying schmuck who kept following me around all night asking to order tandoori. 3. Hello, Red Sox! Two games up in the World Series? You are rocking my world. I'm only pissed I won't be in Boston when everyone takes to the streets to rejoice. I was there in 2001 when the Patriots won their first Superbowl in years, and it was a blast. 4. Right now, my bed equipped with its flannel sheets is lookin' pretty damn good to me. But there's some jackass either in my building or the next one over who is playing what sounds like a Mahler symphony at high volume. Even I have my limits as far as cultural diversity... especially at 1:45am on a Sunday night.

Flogging Molly ruled. I love seeing them live, but I'm very glad we had seats up in the loge section, because the entire open floor was a giant mosh pit. If you'd told me five years ago that kids would mosh to a band with a fiddler and an accordionist, I would've laughed at you. And the coolest part of the evening was meeting Pisser, who is awesome and who I must hang out with again, although I was rather dumb and cut things short tonight when I freaked out and remembered that there was a sign at the garage I parked in that said "We close at midnight," which I conveniently recalled at 12:15am. I had visions of seeing my precious car trapped behind a metal grate, pounding on it and wailing "Nooooooooooo..." so we ran back to the garage and I was able to get my car out, but alas the night ended at that point without any further alcohol. Joelle did this thing where she set her MP3 playlist to random and listed the 10 songs that came up. Here's mine: 1. Dario G - "Sunchyme" 2. Catherine Wheel - "Judy Staring at the Sun" (I looooooove me some Catherine Wheel) 3. Led Zeppelin - "Immigrant Song" 4. Ministry - "Jesus Built My Hotrod" 5. J-Kwon - "Tipsy" 6. The Hang Ups - "Jump Start" 7. Heart - "Alone" 8. Dave Matthews Band - "Dancing Nancies" 9. The Cult - "She Sells Sanctuary (Extended Version)" 10. Seal - "Prayer for the Dying"

Yesterday, my boss also extended congratulations to me for the Red Sox win. (As if I can take credit for it...) She said, "And hey, the city's still standing this morning... even though I heard there were something like 9 people who received injuries." I responded, "Yes, 9 injuries, but no fatalities," and we both laughed. Little did I know I was wrong. I'm off to see Flogging Molly with Pisser tonight, and then tomorrow morning, I hop a flight out to Spokane, Glittering Jewel of the Pacific Northwest™ for a weekend with my best friend who I haven't seen in months. She's throwing her annual can't-miss Halloween houseparty and, well, I can't miss it. But it's hard to take seriously any city where the Hell's Angels have their chapter headquarters right there on the main street. So here's some Friday bouncing-around-in-your-chair music for you. Right-click and save as, then listen and afterwards, try not to say, "YAR! I'm a pirate!" This song has that unfortunate effect on people. Flogging Molly - "Seven Deadly Sins"

So. Tonight, I attended the birthday party of one of my oldest friends, someone I've known since I was 11 and someone who I stayed out way too late for so I could be his designated driver when his designated driver took off, because that's the kind of friend I am. Also attending the party was someone who confessed to me that he dated one of my ex-girlfriends in college after I broke up with her. The funny thing is that while I hate living in the past and my singing habits aren't just in the car and in the shower and old memories of my college a cappella group because I've started my own group out here in Los Angeles, he said something tonight that really made me kind of wish for the glory days of my old group. When I asked him if the ex said anything about me while they were dating, he replied, "Yeah, she pointed you out and said you were an asshole. [Ed. note: I have a bad habit of ending relationships poorly. It's not intentional, I think I just let them go on too long so it's easier to walk away.] But you were in VoiceMale [my college group], so you were... well, untouchable." I guess it's not so unfathomable at a school where there hadn't been a football team in almost 40 years, but it's still kind of odd to think that I was looked up to -- especially because I wasn't a football hero, but because I sang. I mean, it's not like you see major motion pictures made about collegiate singing groups.

The glory of this is that it affirms my belief that given enough time and sufficient funds, insane creativity will prevail. It may be dumb and particularly useless, but damn if it isn't amusing and fun, and that's what keeps the world from becoming a boring place. (Link pilfered gratuitously from Liz.)

SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!! It's been a good day. I'm only sad I'm not in Boston right now to celebrate with my friends there. A couple of them just called -- drunk, of course, having been drinking since 6pm Eastern -- and said that everyone is partying in the streets and they wish I was there with them. If the Sox win the Series, there will be a full-scale riot in the city. I wish so much I could be there to participate. Celebrity sighting of the day: Melissa Joan Hart. I was walking down the hall towards my nutritionist's office when I spotted this cute girl talking to my nutritionist in his doorway. Then she left and passed me in the hall, and I walked into the nutritionist's office and said to him, "She was cute." He replies, "What, Melissa Joan Hart? Yeah..." And that's when I realized why she looked familiar. And while at the nutritionist, I found that my five-week plateau was broken and I'd lost enough weight to pass an important personal milestone. Three more pounds, and I pass another. However, there was an incident at work today involving some chicken, some creamed spinach and one of my favorite pairs of jeans. A fair amount of swearing was done on my part, but that's all I'll say about the matter... except that it's possible that creamed spinach stains.

Okay, so now that The Plague™ has mutated into a sinus infection, prolonging my agony, I am experiencing the abject joy that is a prescription antibiotic whose primary side-effects are nausea and dizziness. C'mon. If I'm going to have the symptoms of having drank too much alcohol, I'd at least like the experience of actually getting drunk first.

"Perry, no one's pure evil. I mean, yeah, some people have a hard outer shell, but everyone has a creamy center." "There are plenty of people here -- on this particular planet -- who are hard on the outside and hard on the inside." "So they'd have more of a nougat-y center?" "Lady, people aren't chocolates. But you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling." -- John C. McGinley & Heather Graham, Scrubs Yeah, and that's basically how my day went -- I was fighting The Mighty Forces of Stupidity for most of it. Except for the stellar Red Sox-Yankees game. After the Sox won, my co-workers commented that they heard kind of a Doppler effect of someone running through the office yelling "sweeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeet..." That'd be me, folks. That'd be me. On the other hand, the L.A. drivers who freaked out in the rain and the doctor who didn't listen when I said a particular kind of drug makes me violently ill and then went on to prescribe me said vomity-drug definitely did not make my day any easier.

It's been raining all night... and with the abundance of water outside, there is suddenly no water coming out of any of my taps. How the hell am I supposed to shave and shower for work? (And before you suggest it, no, it's stopped raining, so I can't go run naked through the rain with some soap and a washcloth... not that I would anyways, you sick bastards.) UPDATED: Okay, so half an hour later, the water came back on. Needless to say, I'm not taking chances and will be taking the Shortest Shower Known to Man™ this morning.