Some suggestions based on my own personal mishaps today... 1. If you're on the West Coast, try not to punch up My Yahoo or any other news feed while watching any contest TV shows, because the headlines taken from the East Coast feed will give away the finale before you've finished watching it. Hell, I didn't even have to finish the first hour of The Apprentice before I knew who was going to win. Why even bother watching the other two hours? 2. Do not live in an area where there are Santa Ana winds. The Santa Anas are seriously pissing me off. It may be warm, but there are so many allergens in the air that they're making me literally sick. My boss kept calling me "NyQuil boy" all day today... not a good thing when she's trying to schedule an employee review for me. 3. Do not allow your co-workers to bring cookies and other goodies into work when you're completely a stressball and your willpower is next to nil. I put away about half a dozen cookies and brownies today. Not good when you're trying to lose weight.

So, this is the time of year when everything slows down to a crawl at work and I wonder why in hell I have to be in the office every day. All of our competitors have shut down for the holidays, but I'll be at my desk every morning and every evening. Hilarity is scheduled to ensue as those of us who don't want to use up our vacation time on the holidays will find various ways to amuse ourselves, like several rounds of garbage-can basketball and my co-workers daring me to try to grow a beard in less than 72 hours. Oh yes, it's on. I had considered taking a sick day or two, but it now looks like I may not have to lie about it -- I woke up this morning with a sore throat. This couldn't have happened at a worst time, what with my birthday and the resulting celebration coming up in the next few days. Bleah.

Lots going on behind the scenes here that I actually can't really talk about. Suffice to say that my stress level is through the roof, and that if what's expected to pan out actually does, then my life will be affected and experience an upheaval in a myriad of ways. This, of course, has caused my appetite to alternately disappear and then return with a vengeance, so it's playing hell with my weight loss when I'm not eating anything for a day and then eating everything in sight the next -- and "everything in sight" usually includes several metric assloads of chocolate. Plus, my pilot light went out again yesterday, so the gas company came by at the crack o' dawn this morning to turn it back on. At least this time, the guy showed me how to relight it myself should it go out again. Unfortunately, I was still half-asleep at the time, so Lord knows if I'll actually remember. What's also odd is that my birthday is less than a week away, and my parents still haven't told me what they're getting me this year. (Maybe they got me a rock.) Usually, I know a month or so in advance, so not knowing right now is surprising. But I digress. What would a gorgeous Wednesday be without a cool song to play during it? Right-click and save as, rockmongers. Blursabian - "There's No Other LSF" (Blur vs. Kasabian, mashed by Party Ben)

Okay, so I really wanted to post a photo, but I keep getting an internal server error. In lieu of the picture, I'll put up my list of top 10 albums for 2004. Be sure to patronize your local music store! 1. Jimmy Eat World, Futures 2. Head Automatica, Decadence 3. Muse, Absolution 4. The Killers, Hot Fuss 5. The Music, Welcome to the North 6. Interpol, Antics 7. Green Day, American Idiot 8. The Dresden Dolls, self-titled 9. Breaking Benjamin, We Are Not Alone 10. Flogging Molly, Within a Mile of Home

The worst part of insomnia isn't waking up in the morning and being exhausted. The worst part of insomnia isn't the fact that you keep checking the clock to see how much sleep you'd get if you were able to fall asleep right then. The worst part of insomnia isn't your mind racing at warp speed, going through all the things you have to talk care of and all the chaos going on in your life. The worst part of insomnia isn't the tossing and turning. The worst part of insomnia just how quiet the world is in the middle of the night. It's too late for the West Coasters and too early for the East Coasters, and there's no one around to talk to. And the loneliness can be the worst part of all.

I'd like to file a complaint, since I have been molested by a six-hour rock show. KROQ had its way with me, and I am now in a bit of pain. What kind of pain? Well, you had to repeat yourself because I can't hear a damn thing right now, and I'm also sore as all hell. But the show was amazing, and there were so many bands there who completely rocked my world, like The Music, Muse, The Killers, Interpol, The Shins, Snow Patrol and Modest Mouse. I was exceptionally happy that Jimmy Eat World (who currently hold the No. 1 spot on my top 10 year-end albums of 2004 list) closed the show with an incredible set that included my current favorite song by them. We spotted Serj from System of a Down and Ashlee Simpson backstage, and we also ran into some other friends of mine and were dragged into a group Polaroid shot with Santa, who totally copped a feel when my friend sat on his lap. I have the photographic evidence. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to go consume mass quantities of Aleve. Right-click and save as. Ow. Jimmy Eat World - "Futures"

Had a very Swingers-esque/L.A. night, where I went from The Derby to The Dresden to Jerry's, all places that showed up in the movie. While at Jerry's, we spotted Bob Saget. He's way tall and thin. I am way tired and in need of about five days off, but the madness continues well into next week. If I survive. Tomorrow night, six hours of rock at KROQ's Almost Acoustic Christmas.

I'm still in crunch mode, which kind of aggravates me because I'm severelly sleep-deprived and need to do laundry. But respite will not come until the middle of next week, even though I spent an hour and a half in an overcrowded and overheated conference room yesterday learning about the medical & dental insurance plans my company is switching to. I'd like that hour back in my life, please, and I honestly think it would've been more pleasurable actually going to the dentist than sitting in the Meeting That Never Ends™. I had to call the gas company this morning because my pilot light on my heater went out overnight -- again. When the woman answered my call and asked what the problem was and I told her my pilot light went out -- again -- I had to immediately apologize and say, "I'm sorry... I'm not angry at you, I'm just cold." She laughed and said, "Awwww... bless your heart!" And strangely enough, that somehow made me feel a little better, like even though my day was starting to suck early on, things would still balance out by the time I go to bed tonight.

So. Been running around like a chicken with its head cut off, hence the lack of posting. Worked late on Tuesday as per usual, had a date last night, and tonight is my company's Christmas party -- at a bowling alley. Wooooooooo. Saturday is KROQ's Almost Acoustic Christmas, and Sunday is rehearsal for my singing group followed by dinner with friends and a party. Tell me -- when in all of this is time for me to do laundry and let my neuroses reign? In the meantime, I got a minor case of food poisoning from yesterday's lunch, which I'm not so pleased about. And since I'm in discomfort, everyone else around me must be in discomfort as well, so I've been playing the new Chemical Brothers song over and over and over again. It's just that good. Violins haven't rocked like this since the Tri-Lambs electrified Poindexter's violin in Revenge of the Nerds. You will like it -- I will enforce my will upon you! (Pssst... go here to listen to it.)

I suppose I was wound up pretty tightly after last night. I got home, crashed on the couch for an hour, then watched TV in bed for another hour and fell asleep. 20 minutes into the lovely sleep, my upstairs neighbor dropped something heavy on her floor, waking me up. And I couldn't get back to sleep. You know those commercials for sleeping pills where the person keeps looking at their clock, seeing how late it is and saying to themself, "Well, if I fall asleep now, I'll get [insert number here] hours of sleep..." Yeah, that was me last night. My mind was running at warp speed, and the later it got, the more stressed out I got -- not just over the things I was already stressing about already, but also over the fact that I'm going to have to haul my sorry ass into work and down about a gallon of coffee to power me through today, when I'll be at work for the better part of 12-13 hours.

So there are some times when I just feel like I'm living one of those lives that people only read about in magazines. You know that Motley Crüe reunion concert that happened tonight? Yeah, I was there. And I was in the VIP section. And then I went to the exclusive afterparty at the famous Whisky on the Sunset Strip, where I hung out with many music industry people (including a friend of mine who's a DJ at the world-famous KROQ and some folks from VH1 and MTV) and saw the guys from Motley Crüe, had a nice chat with the lead singer of Smile Empty Soul and met the keyboardist from Saigon Kick (you remember them, right? "Love is on the Way"?) and the drummer from Cinderella. Plus, open bar, dude! And I can't even begin to tell you how many gorgeous wimmins were there. There are times when I think back to my time in Boston, when I was out of the industry and miserable, and how fanciful this kind of life sounded. Odd that it seems to be such an intricate part of the Way Things Are now. And yet, I still find it ironic that the first song I heard when I turned on the radio while on my way home was "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters. And I wonder When I sing along with you If everything could ever feel this real forever If anything could ever be this good again The only thing I'll ever ask of you You've got to promise not to stop when I say when...

I know I'm not supposed to post this until Monday morning, but I'm going to be way busy over the next couple of days and don't know when I'll get a chance to post again, and some things are happening that I'm hoping for which forces will align in my favor. But standing in Bloomingdale's tonight listening to the ambient Christmas music reminded me that it was time once again to make my annual anti-Christmas mix. I'm not quite sure why I do it, even though it seems to be well-received every year. I think it has something to do with the fact that if I'm forced to participate in the Christmas season due to all the decorations and music that are just plain damn ubiquitous, I'm going to do it on my terms. So rather than narrow it down to 10 "winter" songs as per the usual monthly music blog list thing, I'm just going to post the entire 2004 edition of the anti-Christmas mix here. It is in a particular order, so if you're going to download this stuff and either listen to it or burn it to CD, please do it in sequence. And for the love of all that's holy, right-click and save as! EDITED TO ADD: MP3s are now offline. Sorry if you missed your chance to get them. 1. Jon Stewart - "Message From a Jew" 2. Ben Folds - "Bizarre Christmas Incident" 3. Dr. Demento - "12 Pains of Christmas" 4. Run-D.M.C. - "Christmas in Hollis" 5. Voicedude - "Last Breath (Backstreet Boys vs The Police)" 6. Ben Folds - "Lonely Christmas Eve" 7. South Park's Eric Cartman - "Swiss Colony Beef Log" 8. Fountains of Wayne - "I Want an Alien for Christmas" 9. No Doubt - "Oi to the World" 10. Blink 182 - "I Won't Be Home For Christmas" 11. Me First & The Gimme Gimmes - "Hava Nagila (Christmas Arrangement)" 12. South Park's Mr. Garrison - "Merry Fucking Christmas" 13. New Found Glory - "Ex-Miss" 14. Everclear - "I Will Be Hating You For Christmas" 15. Chris Cornell - "Ave Maria" 16. Linkin Park - "My December" Others doing these shenanigans include: bitchalicious, brooks blog, chapati mystery, cheleblog, dune shack, sheets and blankets, shoulda said, situation in progress..., sledgeblog, ultrablog, write on megs. EDITED TO ADD: MP3s are now offline. Sorry.

unrequited Main Entry: un·re·quit·ed Pronunciation: "&n-ri-'kwI-t&d Function: adjective : not requited : not reciprocated or returned in kind : the emotions from a friend who you've kind of been in love with for 10 years, who shares many similar interests as you, who shares many similar views as you, who has always been able to balance you out emotionally and keep you centered and grounded, who you share many inside jokes with and who you can always make laugh uncontrollably, who you love spending time with, who you think is brilliant and gorgeous, who you could never see yourself getting tired or bored of... but who always reminds you that you're just friends and that nothing more will ever some of it.

- So, I know that winters in other places than Southern California are a hell of a lot colder than the relative mildness of what I'm experiencing here, but when there's a 20-degree difference between the air temperature in my apartment and the air inside the cocoon of comforter and flannel sheets I've built on my bed, there's a decent chance it's going to take me a while to get out of bed in the morning. - Can someone please tell me if it's possible to get a halfway decent cell phone without a camera? Seems like anything above the bare-bones-basic phones comes with a frickin' camera, and I don't want one. - I've been infecting several people with this. I was especially amused when I sent the link to one of my co-workers last night and kept getting IMs back saying "damn," then "DAMN," then "DAMMIT!" and so on. You click on a frog to make it jump either one stone or over one frog -- you can't jump over two, and you have to make the boy and girl frogs switch sides. (Blatantly pilfered from Hilary.)

Okay, so I have this theory. And it came about because I believe that several people among us are a bit suspect. I mean, honestly, I can't understand how or why they're so popular. In some of their cases, it seems like not only is their popularity inexplicable, but they aren't getting any older. This led me to my theory: Aliens have planted several androids among us to study us, gain our trust and love, and then conquer us. Currently on my list of suspected androids (and I'm sure I'm forgetting some): - Dick Clark - Ryan Seacrest - Rick Dees - Paris Hilton - Andy Rooney (who came to us from the aliens already looking like he was 90 years old) - Carrot Top In Andy Rooney's case, his personality matrix was designed to be so curmudgeonly that I want more than anything else to lock him in a cage and poke him with a stick until he gets so mad that he literally blows up. That, to me, would be the ultimate in fun.