On top of being trapped all day in dull corporate meetings (yes! Look at the time! 8:15am! Since when am I even awake at 8:15am on a weekday!), I have to pump myself with enough caffeine to leave post-work and drive out to Tucson tonight to see the parents for the weekend. Now that we're done with Daylight Savings Time, Arizona is once again an hour ahead of California... pretty much guaranteeing that I won't make it in until 3-4am local time. It'll be like the old days when I was sleep-deprived and doing overnights at my local radio station -- around 4am, I'd throw a 7- or 8-minute song on the air, lock everything up, race down to the convenience store at the end of our driveway, load up on coffee and sugar to make it until 6am when the morning guy came in to relieve me and race back to throw the next song on the air. As such, staying up until 1:30am and drinking last night probably wasn't the best of ideas. But it did give me good vibrations about the future, which helps to ease my mind a bit over potential upcoming events. (Again with the mystery, but I can't say much, dammit! I'm sorry...) Either way, me and the Silver Bullet™ will be making the desert run tonight. Here's a little something neat and energetic to keep us all awake. Right-click and save as, or I'll be forced to do something horrible to your pets, like flossing your cats. Beastie Boys vs. Led Zeppelin - "The Immigrant Check"

So another has discovered the wonders of blogging while on Ambien. As many of you know, I have insomniac tendencies. Like Bazima, I was pretty happy to get my hands on some Ambien when I was told that it would knock me out without making me groggy in the morning. Especially since most of the sleep aids out there make me sleep for 12 hours and then I also have to take a nap the following afternoon, which means that I'm so well-rested that I'm up until 5am the following night... starting the cycle all over again. So I took an Ambien. About 25 minutes later is when the trouble started. Who knew that a forest would start growing out of my desk? And that a ravine would appear at the edge of my computer keyboard, with vines extending out of it that snapped at my fingers? And that I'd be merrily blogging it all, misspellings and 14-line sentences and all? I took down the entry the next morning when I discovered what I wrote, but I still haven't forgotten the experience... It's a little scary to think that my brain really can run away with itself.

There is sunlight outside, and I actually got more than 5 hours of sleep last night. This week is looking up.

I'm feeling so alive, feeling so real On a stormy night, the rain is coming down Rain like never before I've got some records on, some bottles of wine On a stormy night, the rain is lashing down And I'm waiting for her... -- Ash, "Goldfinger" Right-click and save as, please.

The World's Loudest Cricket™ has taken up residence on my back stoop. And it won't. Shut. Up. Oh yeah. Death is in the cards tonight, baby. I'm on the warpath now.

The weekend sped by in a haze of sleep and rain. I know now why everyone freaks out when it rains here in Los Angeles -- there's no proper drainage, which is why situations arise like the lake I had to drive through today that splashed so much water up into my car's engine that it made such a horrible screeching sound as the belts slipped, which probably is the mating call of Ratus Angelenus (a.k.a. the Los Angeles Rat). The dilemma ensues: I've said that I signed off of the succubus that is JDate because it brought me a ton of frustration and agony and frustration. Did I mention the frustration? But I was sufficiently bored enough on Friday night that I signed on to see who's around, and someone sent me a note. Unfortunately, since I'm no longer a paying member, I can't read the note or even see who sent it to me. On top of that, there's some cute women on there who I wouldn't mind e-mailing with. The question becomes... do I cough up the dough and start up the madness again with the frustration, or do I just leave it be? I'm heading into another busy week of social engagements, concerts and work. So I'll try to occupy your minds with this little piece of aural enjoyment. Maybe you can ID all the pieces in this cool track? Right-click and save as, or I'll find you and smite you. Don't tempt me. DJ Riko - "Whistler's Delight"

One of my co-workers (who ironically just became single himself after a long-term relationship) has taken an almost unnatural interest in my personal life and has been pointing out women to me whenever we leave the office. He knows I'd like to date someone Jewish, so whenever he sees someone he believes looks like she might be Jewish, he'll point her out to me. He refers to it as his "Jewdar." However, it all came to a head this afternoon. As I've mentioned previously, we sometimes have recording artists come by our office to perform for us, and this afternoon, a cute singer-songwriter-pianist played in our conference room. Afterwards, my co-worker and I had this conversation: Co-worker: She was cute. Me: Uh huh. Co-worker: And I didn't see any rings on... she might be single. Me: Anything's possible. Co-worker: You know, she's still in the office... you should go over and say hi and maybe get her number. Me: Nah, that's okay. Co-worker: What are you talking about? She was cute, you like women who can sing... and she looked Jewish! Me: She wasn't Jewish. Co-worker: You don't know that! You didn't ask her! Me: She's not Jewish. Co-worker: I'm telling you, she might've been -- you should go back and ask her out. Me: No. I'm not going to ask her out. That'd be cheesy... and moderately creepy. Besides, she's not Jewish. Co-worker: What makes you so sure? Me: Well, the giant friggin' cross she was wearing kind of tipped me off a little! What, you couldn't see the damn thing? It only covered like half of her chest! Suffice it to say that he didn't make any helpful suggestions regarding my personal life for the rest of the day. But tomorrow's another story.

Ashlee Simpson's Vocal Malfunction, according to MSNBC (in case you haven't heard, Ashlee was booed offstage at the Orange Bowl because her live performance was so bad -- people were even heard to yell "you suck!"). Personally, it just goes to show how many artists out there really are manufactured. I heard a story that when talking about Norah Jones, one of the sound engineers who worked on her CD remarked, "She's good -- we didn't even have to use the pitch-correction software on her!" Gwen Stefani may look good, but she can't sing.

Honestly, I've been thinking about the Northeast a lot lately. I was born in New York to two native New Yorkers, so that city runs in my blood. And a co-worker went to Boston over the break and brought me back some Dunkin' Donuts coffee as well as a few World Champion 2004 Red Sox signs from the official parade they had right after the Sox won the Series. He was also bearing tales of snow and cold, which he was retelling today at work. Someone said they went to Northern California over the holidays, where they saw an inch or two of snow. I replied, "Man, that's not snow. Snow is being woken up at 6am by your father, who says, 'There's six inches of snow outside, and there's more coming down. Shovel the driveway so I can get to work.'" Okay, I may not miss that, but I do miss sitting inside and watching the snow come down. But I digress. My point? Only in a place like New York could you see something like this.

I'm sometimes asked why I have to set my alarm so early when I don't have to be at work until later in the morning, especially since I'm not a morning person and I value sleep. I'm a guy, so it's not like I need an excessive amount of time to prepare myself for the world to see me. But when I hit mornings like this one, where I apparently hit my snooze button for 35 minutes and have absolutely no recollection of doing it at all, I kind of need to build that time into my morning and anticipate. Ooh, I'm outsmarting myself. Go me.

Okay, you know how everyone keeps saying that Top Gun, if seen in a particular light, comes off as a gay porno? Well, my TV usually takes a second to warm up the picture but the sound comes on immediately. So I turned on the TV when I walked in the door this evening, and this is what I heard someone yell out of the speakers: "I want some butts!" Yeah. Top Gun. And here I thought it was going to be one of those Skinemax films.

Today, the greater American workforce (myself included) returns from a long weekend -- or perhaps even a couple of weeks off -- and heads back to work with the holiday season officially over. The post-holiday depression will set in for some, while others face the new year with a sense of renewed vigor and determination. For me, the Monday following New Year's was always the "official" start to the new year, since it meant a return to life as usual. The holiday season always seemed a little surreal, what with the work slowdown and the holiday cheer that permeated everyone. The following Monday was just the kick in the head that said, "Hey, get back to work, you slacker. Party time's over." I'm hoping 2005 will be a better year for all of us and that, unlike me, everyone will remember to write "2005" when writing out the date. So, despite the fact that here in Los Angeles, we're heading into our third straight week of rain (which may or may not be a sign of the impending apocalypse), I'm going to try to face work today at least without too much grumbling. So here's a tune to help us all out. Right-click and save as, America's Workforce. The Cult - "She Sells Sanctuary" (Extended Version)

IM conversation between me and my best friend. Names have been changed to protect the various parties involved. For purposes of protection, the part of me will be played by Pierce Brosnan and the part of my best friend will be played by Julianne Moore. Me: rabid conservatives make me angry. Best Friend: meeeeeee too Best Friend: let's be angry together Me: there's this one chick here in l.a. she has a website that's pretty popular, and she's attractive. but the problem is that she knows it and thinks she's the best thing since sliced bread and that everyone should worship her. she's exactly like ann coulter -- pretty to look at, but everything she says is just plain rhetoric, unsubstantiated shit. it's all "liberals are destroying the world, and look at how stupid they are." Best Friend: what's the site Me: [site address removed to... hell, why should I protect the conservative?] Me: read the 2nd entry down on the page Best Friend: nice Best Friend: i didn't have to read beyond the header to know i would be annoyed Me: i hate that conservatives can spew all kinds of shit about liberals, but one word from the liberals and it's like "how dare they insult us? we stand for what's good in america! no one should be allowed to point out our faults!" Best Friend: simple Best Friend: conservatives can dish it out, but can't take it... they like spewing forth their opinions but refuse to listen to others ideas.... bottom line: CLOSED MINDS Me: and yet way too many people in this country are drinking the kool-aid. Me: when the hell is the giant kool-aid guy gonna bust down their walls and yell "OH NOOOOO!" Best Friend: yup Best Friend: hahahahah Me: i think the worst part is that rabid conservatives don't seem to have any sense of humor about things. god forbid they should be skewered on the daily show, their legions of supporters will immediately launch the boycott campaign.

I make no excuses or apologies for my cynicism, even though it disturbs me a little that it's been rearing its ugly head a little more lately. As was written by Seattle resident Spencer Chan in the "What I've Learned" special section of this month's Esquire, "I'm a realist. Whether the glass is half-empty or half-full, it will eventually have to be washed." Death Cab For Cutie - "The New Year" (right-click and save as) So this is the new year And I don't feel any different The clanking of crystal Explosions off in the distance (in the distance) So this is the new year And I have no resolutions For self assigned penance For problems with easy solutions So everybody put your best suit or dress on Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn As thirty dialogues bleed into one I wish the world was flat like the old days Then I could travel just by folding a map No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways There'd be no distance that can hold us back There'd be no distance that could hold us back So this is the new year...

Happy new year, everyone! I hope that 2005 brings all of our wildest dreams to fruition. Especially mine. Bwahahahahahahah...