1. Well, that was a fine pick-me-up to wake up and find my account had been suspended. According to my host, it was due to "MT comment and trackback spam issues." I thought that a little bit of an overreaction, considering Blacklist does a pretty decent job and I'd only gotten like 15 spam comments overnight. At least things are back to normal now. I apparently have to make sure it doesn't happen anymore. I thought that's what MT-Blacklist was for? 2. I thought Chris Rock was a riot last night on the Oscars. Of course, that might've been the incredible amount of alcohol I consumed last night -- how can I say no when the local watering hole is offering two-for-one drink specials? 3. 'Tis the season for one of my weaknesses -- Cadbury Creme Eggs. And it's a little hard to say no when you're completely blitzed and being encouraged by friends. But they're soooooooo good. 4. Due to the aforementioned blitzing, I was very happy to crawl into bed at 11:45pm and attempt sleep following Robot Chicken on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Wouldn't you know it -- I couldn't get to sleep until 2am, so I'm still a little inclined to crawl back into bed for another few hours. And will someone please explain why in God's name I had dreams about Soleil Moon Frye?

I had another post written earlier. Really, I did, but it disappeared. It was all about how I did fuck all today but eat and sleep -- the epitome of sloth, and I literally did just eat and sleep today and that's all. Until around 4pm, when I finally decided that since I'd been wishing for a nice day to go outside to frolic for such a long time, I was feeling way too guilty to go back to sleep... er, again. So I cleaned up, packed up my CD/MP3 player and went for a walk -- one that somehow stretched into a 5-mile endeavor. And they say people don't walk in L.A. At least, Missing Persons says that. And my end-of-day save-from-laziness paid off. Somewhere around 2 1/2 miles, I spotted a tall, lanky lookin' guy coming the other way on the sidewalk. Made eye contact and smiled slightly at him as we passed each other, and he returned the favor. Now before you think me gay, let me just say that the same situation played itself out again around Mile 4 with a very cute blonde woman, and that I'm definitely not gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) But I'm sure you'll forgive me when the guy I exchange eye contact and smiles with is David Duchovny.

All right, here's a couple of ass-kicking mashups to, well, kick your ass into Friday. Yes, I'm in a foul mood; yes, I'm exhausted. But these got me motivated enough to work my ass out, so hopefully you'll enjoy them too while playing them back at high volume to amaze everyone around you at how cool you are for having these killer tracks in your playlist. Right-click and save as, or suffer my wrath. I will destroy you, non-right-clickers! Team9 - "Screaming E-Pro in Hell" (Beck vs. Michael & Janet Jackson vs. AC/DC) DJ TiiM - "Galviolence" (Chemical Brothers vs. Blink 182)

So. Another day, a new office. Following a 15-minute trip through the ginormous underground parking lot to find a spot and following the dizzying ride up to the 41st floor (where the planes on approach to LAX are lower than we are!) in the Rocket-Powered Elevator, I walked into a hornet's nest where a few co-workers were pissed because I was assigned a cubicle twice the size of theirs. Either way, I still didn't get an office with a view. But it was an odd feeling today... I walked into work today all nervous, just like I was starting a new job. In other news, I am contemplating: - Buying an iPod - What to do about my upstairs neighbor who's been slamming the garage door so hard stuff rattles in my apartment - Who really is going to believe KNBC-TV's "Mennonite Mob" feature they're touting for the 11pm news tonight about the new Amish Mafia

Holy crap, I see blue sky! And sunshine! The flood has abated. Although I was kind of looking forward to breaking the record for the rainiest season ever here in Los Angeles. In other news, my company moved offices yesterday, so I worked from home yesterday and will just show up today in the new building. This is going to be interesting. Not only are we now on the 41st floor (as opposed to the old building, where we were on the 3rd) and not only do we now have rocket elevators to zoom us up and down, but people in the office are a little skittish over the height. Plus, they're also worried because the building we're in is one of two identical buildings next door to each other that were designed by the same guy who designed the Twin Towers in New York -- and they even look like the old World Trade Center buildings, except for these are shorter and triangular. Personally, at this point, I'm more worried about the effects of being on the 41st floor during an earthquake than a terrorist attack. Anyways, in honor of the new, elevated office, here's a small treat for you. Yes, that is Ronald Reagan speaking. Right-click and save as, or I'll smoke ya. Black Grape - "Get Higher"

Okay, so some of you may have heard that the Borgata Casino in Atlantic City has put a weight limit on its servers. One of my friends who works on a radio station's morning show in Philadelphia decided to protest. So he packed up a van full of station interns and headed for Atlantic City on Monday, where they arrived at the Borgata and began marching around the hotel lobby with big signs and chanting things like "bring back the chunk!" And then things got weird, as evidenced by the live broadcast they were sending back to the station via cell phone. My buddy was told to leave, so he took his gaggle of interns outside, where they restarted their protests and where my friend was arrested for "defiant trespass." And this is the kind of news I cover on a daily basis for work. Bring back the chunk, indeed.

Today I celebrate the third anniversary of my arrival here in Los Angeles. It was a warm sunny February evening when I finally got through the traffic on the 10 freeway after five long days on the road to pull in only four miles away from the Pacific Ocean... 3200 miles away from where I started, only five miles away from the Atlantic. Since then, I've been to more concerts than I can recall, built myself up an expansive social circle and made some good friends in addition to getting to hang out again with some old friends from back East, met some famous people, had two long-term relationships, hit up a bunch of the famous L.A. hotspots that seemed to exist only in myth when I was back East, have been living in my own place for the past year, started a singing group... seems like I've packed a lot of living into the past three years. Thanks for all the memories, L.A.

There is nothing quite so movie-esque as kissing someone while both of you are standing outside in the pouring rain during an intense thunder-and-lightning storm, especially in a place like Los Angeles, where this kind of weather never happens. Ash - "Goldfinger" Right-click and save as, please.

Nothing like waking up to the pitter-patter of pouring rain and the gentle, melodic sounds of Fugazi. Fugazi - "Waiting Room" Right-click and save as, yo.

I haven't done this in a while, so why not...? 100 Things About Me 1. My biggest problem when I write is starting. If I can write a title and an intro, I can usually roll on pretty easily from there. 2. I have very little patience. 3. I'm also Mr. Instant Gratification. I hate it when people hold something back because they want me to "experience the anticipation." And when I hear something's going to happen, I want it to happen now. 4. My mom loves to "experience the anticipation." She thought I did too. It made me furious. It took me until I was 24 to finally convince her that I hated it. 5. I've never owned a Windows computer. I work on one at the office, but I hate it. 6. I was unemployed for eight months after I was laid off when the dot-com bubble burst. 7. I won't watch a movie for the first time unless I'm watching it uncut and unedited. 8. I've never broken any bones or been in the hospital for any medical reasons. 9. My perfect comedy trifecta is Denis Leary, Jon Stewart and Lewis Black. I've seen Lew live three times. 10. I'm definitely a gadget freak. 11. I've never watched an episode of American Idol. I refuse to. 12. The only time I've ever hallucinated was when I took Ambien. Even when I was on Percocet when I had my wisdom teeth removed, I still didn't have any side effects. 13. I tend not to look good in hats, so I don't wear them all that often. I do look good in my Red Sox hat though. 14. I can't draw. Not at all. All I can draw are geometric shapes. 15. Which is odd, because I wasn't so good at geometry. 16. I still don't understand why I had to take it. Any kind of math that involves letters and imaginary numbers isn't really math. It's science fiction. 17. I love adult-oriented comics and cartoons. I still have my Bloom County and Calvin & Hobbes books. And I love Get Fuzzy and Frazz. 18. I've never been to Disneyland. I've only been to Disney World. Quite frankly, since Disneyland doesn't have EPCOT, I don't see why I should bother. 19. I still want to visit Toronto, Vancouver, Australia, Italy, Ireland and Hawaii. I want to go back to England and France. 20. New York is the greatest place on Earth, and I'm not just saying that because I was born there. I don't think I could ever live there again though... it's a little too crowded and busy for me. 21. In the town I grew up in, most people knew what room in the local hospital they were born in. I was one of the very, very few who was born out of town... or even out of state. 22. I grew up about 10 minutes away from the largest U.S. Navy base on the East Coast. Which means I grew up knowing there was a Russian nuclear missile with my name written alllllll over it. 23. I like alternate history books. 24. I once jumped on Jake Gyllenhaal while backstage at a Maroon 5 concert. 25. I once stayed awake for 36 hours. I was not in good shape when I finally fell asleep, and I only got 2 hours before I had to wake up and go back out, and I was awake for another 14 hours before I could sleep -- for another 2 hours. 26. Yes, I've acted on stage. In junior high and high school and college. Nothing since then. 27. I still have the Curious George stuffed animal that I got when I was 1 year old. He's travelled internationally with me. He's old enough to vote and drink and rent a car now. 28. I hate dressing up. I've been told I look good when I do, but I prefer jeans. 29. I always need something on in the background, be it the TV or music. 30. Back to the Future was my favorite movie until I saw The Matrix. 31. I've never been able to grow my hair long. 32. I play a mean air guitar and air drums. 33. I've never taken guitar lessons, though I want to learn how to play it. 34. A friend of mine did teach me some rudimentary drum-playing when I was in high school though. 35. I once ate sushi for lunch and dinner every day for two weeks. 36. Yes, I've had a one-night stand. 37. The day before my 16th birthday, my dad and I took a tour of the submarine U.S.S. Dallas. The weapons officer took us around. It was way cool -- I saw all kinds of things you don't normally see on the tour, and I got to operate the sonar. They'd just had new weapons computers installed a couple of days before that the weapons officer didn't know how to use... so I set it up for him. 38. I frequently quote lines from TV shows and movies. 39. I can be funny on my own too. Though sometimes people will ask me "where's that from?" when I say something, and I'll have to respond, "ME! What, I'm not capable of being original?" 40. I love barbeque sauce. 41. My hair grows incredibly fast. I need to get a haircut every 6 weeks or so, and I get 5:00 shadow around 3pm. 42. I went to Jewish sleepaway camp for 7 summers -- one month per summer. I still eat pork. 43. I still love the Budweiser "wassuuuuuuup" commercials. 44. My favorite is the one where it's all the preppy guys imitating the original "wassup" guys when they're all sitting around screaming "what are YOU doing???" 45. I love Monty Python, but I wasn't so fond of The Life of Brian and The Meaning of Life. 46. I love discussing temporal physics and mechanics. Mmmmm... tiiiiiime travel... 47. Yes, I've gone skinny-dipping. Yes, in mixed company. 48. I hate cold water. There's nothing worse than a cold shower in the morning. 49. When I was growing up, the house we lived in was heated using electrical heat, so a fair amount of the time, we'd lose power during blizzards and be without power and heat for days. I'd have to sleep in my winter jacket and take freezing cold showers. 50. I hate being cold. I'm usually pretty warm. 51. I think I'm kind of addicted to the Internet. 52. I doubt the existence of God. That doesn't mean I'm an atheist. But nothing has been shown to prove the existence of God, and nothing has been shown to disprove the existence of God. So I'm on the fence. 53. A lot of people don't believe that sometimes, I just shut down and I don't want to be social. Apparently, there is a big perception that I'm "on" all the time. 54. Despite an IQ that's well above average, I can be pretty dumb sometimes. 55. It's usually because I haven't had enough to sleep. 56. I hate being tired. 57. One thing that completely tweaks my melon is when commercials use songs for their own advantage when the song's meaning and intention is the opposite from what they're advertising. Like when Jeep was trying to instill a sense of patriotism in people by using Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Fortunate Son." 58. I can't do yoga. I can't sit still or meditate. 59. I've come to the conclusion that I actually like brunettes better than blondes. But I still have a strong affinity for redheads. I guess I have a thing for Irish women. If you run across any hot Irish Jewish women, send them my way. 60. I am most decidedly un-P.C. 61. I can't sleep on my back. I have to sleep on my back or my stomach. 62. When I was young, my parents took me to Tanglewood, where the Boston Pops have their summer home. We heard them perform the 1812 Overture and I fell asleep halfway through. Despite sitting three feet away from the 21 cannons they fired off at the end of the piece, I still slept through it all. 63. I've had cable TV since I was 4 years old. 64. I am in no way, shape or form a morning person. I hate getting up early. 65. I do have a cassette deck. It's been sitting in my closet and hasn't been hooked up for 2 years. 66. I have a really soft spot for bunnies. I completely want to get a rabbit for a pet again. 67. I'm allergic to cats. I discovered this when I was 15, my grandmother's cat decided she wanted to curl up in my lap and half an hour later, my eyes were swollen shut and I was sneezing uncontrollably. 68. Despite being Jewish, I still love Christmas lights. 69. I've never owned an American car. I've had either Toyotas or Hondas. 70. When I was a kid, I was scared to death of the "Night on Bald Mountain" witch from Fantasia. It took me many years to get over that. 71. In an unfortunate turn of events, I started saying "dude" a lot after I moved to California. 72. However, after moving to California, I also discovered I look good in black. 73. When I was 17, I installed my own car stereo. I've always been good with electronics. 74. Having said that, things also occasionally explode around me. When I was in the eighth grade, I blew up three Bunsen burners and set fire to the classroom's movie screen. 75. My chocolate peanut squares are world-renowned. And apparently, I tend to make them more often when I'm drunk. 76. My longest relationship was two years. It should've ended a lot sooner than I let it drag on for. 77. I've had a number of long-term relationships. 78. I've attempted long-distance relationships. They don't work for me. 79. I tend to be a sucker for women who can sing. 80. I used to go deep-sea fishing with my dad every summer. 81. I'm a meatatarian. I love me some steak and hamburgers. 82. I once saw a satellite pass overhead. It was neat. 83. I don't like horror movies all that much. I saw Night of the Living Dead when I was 13 and had nightmares for a week. 84. I do, however, like post-apocalyptic movies and stories. John Carpenter's movies in particular. 85. I do not, however, like anime. 86. Okay, yes, I'll admit it -- I like Star Trek. But I've never been to a convention. 87. I've been wearing glasses since I was in the 3rd grade. My vision is something like 20:500, which means I see things clearly at 20 feet that others see clearly at 500. 88. This is my lucky number. 89. I still read the Sunday newspaper. 90. Yes, I've smoked pot. Like I said, I was unemployed for eight months. Although my first time was in college. 91. I can drive stickshift, though it's been a while. 92. I've been told by more than a few women that I'm a great kisser. 93. One might say that I lean left in my political views. 94. I keep a number of things on my desk at work that I can idly play with to keep myself occupied, including a bounce-ball that lights up and a square Slinky. 95. I used to be way into reading maps when I was a kid. I think that's part of the reason why I've got a great sense of direction. I can't get lost -- sooner or later, I find my way back to where I need to be. I've literally tried getting lost... it doesn't work. 96. I have been told that there's a chance that I'm a child of the Mozart effect. And my parents used to keep a radio in my crib, but it was tuned to the classical station in New York. Which does not explain why I love the kind of music I like today. 97. I don't mind cooking. In fact, I kind of like it. It's the cleanup and putting away the dishes that I hate. 98. I'm a tactile person, so I love fuzzy clothing and materials. Most of my bedsheets are made of cotton jersey or flannel. 99. I am one of the 7% of Americans who is completely wireless. I don't have a landline. 100. I was approached by a cult once. No, I didn't join. Wow, that took a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would!

Nox posted something recently about going through her high school yearbook and reading some of the comments. Naturally, this made me do the same with mine. Not that I'd actually post the comments people wrote in mine, because 98% of them are random phrases that make absolutely no sense except to me and the people who wrote them, but -- since that was the year I got my first radio gig -- it was interesting to see how many people wrote about listening to me on the radio and how sure they were that I'd turn up on some station somewhere. More than 10 or so years later, it turns out they weren't too far off... The thing that, of course, hammered it home for me was reading my own senior profile. Yes, definitely filled with nonsensical phrases that still (at least) make sense to me, but the kicker was my senior quote: "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." This was frequently said right before I inadvertently caused something to blow up or catch fire. And more than 10 or so years later, I still say that right before I advertently cause something to blow up or catch fire. It's almost comforting to know that despite the maturity, I've just become more of who I am over the years. And the funny thing is, when I told the line to one of my co-workers today, she said, "Wow... you really are pretty much the same person you were in high school, aren't you?"

Attention, world: There are flavor crystals in my toothpaste! And having sampled it, I can say that it's probably like hot man-on-dolphin action -- you gotta keep 'em separated.

CIA, FBI Warn Panel of Top Threats to U.S. Al-Qaida and associated groups top the list of threats to the United States, leading government intelligence officials told Congress on Wednesday in a grim assessment that also highlighted Iran's emergence as a major threat to American interests in the Middle East.... Also at the hearing, the head of the Defense Intelligence Agency, Vice Adm. Lowell Jacoby, painted Iran as a leading threat to U.S. interests in the Middle East. In his prepared testimony, Jacoby said he believes that Iran will continue its support for terrorism and aid for insurgents in Iraq. Surprise, surprise. Hey, everybody, we're gonna get some more war on! Anyone want to start a pool to bet on when this here war's going to kick off? In other news, there's a pretty decent chance I won't be showing up at next week's rally at Paramount Studios to save Star Trek: Enterprise.

Hot pink stretch pants. Sixteen scrunchies at once, some making ponytails that came out of the sides of the head. Velcro shoes. Fluorescent clothing. Skinny ties. Z Cavariccis. Hypercolor t-shirts. BIG HAIR. What in the hell were we thinking?

I was out with a couple of old friends on Friday night -- they dragged me to a singles mixer... at a temple, no less. One of them kept saying to me, "Dude... you're in temple," because in the 10 years she's known me, she's never seen me in temple. (I do go... just not all that often. And hardly ever on random Friday nights that aren't big holidays -- that's prime real estate.) Anyways, the point of this story is not to tell you about my prayer habits. The point is to tell you about my other friend's three-point plan to pick up women. As the story goes, he was driving through an intersection when he looked out the window and spotted a woman who he instantly fell in love with. Bam. He's in love. But he's driving through the intersection, what can he do? It is then that he thinks that he can win her affections through three actions: 1. Bring the car to a screeching halt in the middle of the intersection. 2. Get out of the car, run after this woman and tackle her. 3. Deploy charm. Of course, none of this happened, and he is still -- sadly -- single. However, the three-point plan is still very much in his head and is very adaptable to any circumstances. For example, you're looking out your apartment window and see an attractive woman walking by on the sidewalk below. You can: 1. Drop a sack of potatoes on her. 2. Bring her to the hospital and wait for her to regain consciousness. When she does, 3. Deploy charm. That's the key. Step 3: Deploy charm. But my friend cautions me that the crazier Steps 1 & 2 are, the more charm will have to be deployed in Step 3. Personally, I'm not quite sure the three-point plan is for me, and I've always kind of subscribed to Napoleon's battle plan for conquering Russia. It's a two-step plan that is also adaptable to any circumstance, and it even allows for variances. It consists of: 1. First, you show up. 2. Then, you see what happens. Women, I need your opinions. The three-step plan or the two-step plan? Discuss.