I watched the premiere episode of ABC's Grey's Anatomy tonight. Quite honestly, it brought such a flood of emotions to the surface that for once, I'm having problems trying to organize my thoughts. I remember when I was younger, people would ask me all the time if I was going to be a doctor like my father, and they were always surprised when I immediately said no. All I could see was the incredibly long hours, the strain on him, the intense work he had to put into his job, and I wanted none of it. Plus, the fact that I really don't like needles contributed. The funny thing is that even though he's told me stories and I've seen countless numbers of "doctor shows" on TV, I don't think things really hit home for me. Sure, there was ER, but that was more of a soap opera, and people watched it for the drama. And I love Scrubs, but that's definitely a comedy. This one... this one pounded it into my skull. At the age of 30, my father gave up a lucrative career to spend 4 years in medical school, with several more ahead of him as a resident, putting in grueling hours and getting sleep when he could. Dad spent the majority of his career in an emergency room, and while I went to visit him a few times when things were slow, I never got a chance to see things when they truly exploded. There were points where Dad would see something on the order of 40-50 patients an hour for 12 hours a day -- all of them critical, and all of them only getting a minute or two to stabilize them or else they'd be lost. These are people's lives that were being dealt with -- and saved, hopefully -- in milliseconds. There were crazy things that happened, and I still only hear one or two stories every now and then, so I feel like I will never fully understand or comprehend the magnitude of what it was that he did on a daily basis. I never really thought of what he did as "heroic," especially since my father is an exceptionally humble man who never put on airs because of what he did. However, it's starting to really occur to me that yes, he was not only heroic because he had the strength of will to put in the long hours and work to become a doctor and practice medicine the way he did on a daily basis for so many years, but also because I know he was one of the good ones and he practiced with a good heart and a solid mind. And I feel almost stupid that it's only now that I'm truly starting to appreciate that and that it's taking a television show to help me understand. Thirteen Senses - "Into the Fire" Right-click and save as, please.

This 2 1/2-minute long movie has got to be one of the funniest and pretty ingenious things I've seen in a while. You don't have to have lived in Los Angeles to appreciate it, but being an L.A. resident does help you appreciate it a little more, I think. Hooooooooooly crap.

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. -- Anonymous

Okay, maybe I'm pilfering this from Hilary, but some of my referrals from Google and other search engines are just a little too weird for me not to share. People came to my site after searching for: - when you're in grade 3 and having trouble with the boy you like - sex after disco - enemies of reality - Jesus, you're the tops - JDate madness [Ed. note: Any interaction with JDate is madness at this point] - lemonade clothes - now is the time for [Ed. note: Don't leave me hanging! Now is the time for what???] - woman without a face How did you find me?

I have triumphantly returned to Los Angeles. My car is simmering in the garage, cooling off from its supersonic run across the desert. I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am to be able to collapse on my couch, watch my TiVo and sleep in my own bed tonight. I had some tests done last week, and among the results was an indication that my stress levels were through the roof. [Ed. note: Well, duh.] Unfortunately, it seems to be affecting me physically, so I need to find ways to calm myself down when I start getting tense. Case in point: I was driving back today and was passing through the Riverside area (hello, Inland Empire!) and started thinking about work and all the stuff that's due this week and my column that I haven't started to write and this and that... and I started getting tense. At that point, I said to myself, "Take some deep breaths, and just relax." So I took in a nice deep breath. However, it's really hard to take in a nice deep breath when you're driving through a section of Riverside that perpetually stinks of manure. I had to drive on for another couple of miles in order to get to some clean -- well, as clean as you can get in Southern California -- air to breathe. Now I must hunt and forage for some dinner.

Happy Easter to all my Christian friends. Now, if any of them want to explain to me how the bunny delivering chocolate eggs to the masses relates to the resurrection of Christ, I'm all ears.

Yeah, yeah. Random 10 songs from iTunes. Laugh, and I'll reach through the Internet and attack you like that girl from The Ring. (Can you tell I didn't get much sleep last night? I need coffee.) 1. Lyrics Born - "Callin' Out" 2. The Knack - "My Sharona" 3. They Might Be Giants - "Minimum Wage" 4. The 13th Floor Elevators - "You're Gonna Miss Me" 5. Nelson - "After the Rain" 6. The Cult - "She Sells Sanctuary (Extended Version)" 7. Geto Boys - "Still" 8. Bruce Springsteen - "Brilliant Disguise" 9. Weezer - "Beverly Hills" 10. BT featuring Tori Amos - "Blue Skies"

1. So, as many of you know, I've casually been trying the online dating thing... mostly without much success. I've gotten a few dates here and there, but nothing worth writing home about. One of the services I'm signed up for is eHarmony, and part of the matching process is to exchange open-ended questions and answers with the other person. One of the questions I usually ask is, "What's one totally outrageous thing you've ever done?" The response I got back today from one person talked about how she went with some friends to a strip club when she was a freshman in college, and one of her friends dared her to put a dollar in a guy's G-string, so she did. "What an oily mess!" she wrote. Am I being completely condescending or overjudgmental by thinking that that is a completely lame response? I kind of expected something a little more... well, outrageous. I mean, I know not everyone leads the kind of life where they get busted by the cops for skinny-dipping or drop everything for a midnight trip to Vegas, but still... am I wrong for expecting more? 2. A meeting is taking place tomorrow morning that I will not be attending, but whose outcome will affect me greatly. Yeah, like I'm going to be able to sleep tonight? 3. The problem is, I need to sleep tonight, for tomorrow night after work, the Silver Bullet™ and I hop on the 10 freeway and head east to Tucson. [Cue music: No! Sleep! Till! Duh nuh... nuh nuuuuuuh... Tucson!] Yes, folks, it's another exciting weekend with Mom & Dad out in the high desert, but first, I have to actually get there, and an 8-hour drive after a 10-hour workday on Good Friday with weekend traffic means I'll probably pull into their driveway somewhere in the neighborhood of 4am or 5am local time. The joyous thing is that Arizona is an hour ahead of California, so I lose an hour on the trip there and making me arrive even later according to the clock. 500 miles with stops only for food, gas and caffeine and with only my radio and love of the open road to power me there. Wooooooooo!

Out with three friends tonight. Tried to arrange some kind of parking situation that eventually ended in just putting our cars in line at the valet. Somehow, one of my friends got into an argument with some random dude who may or may not have worked for the bar we were attempting to get into. I caught the latter part, where things got really weird. The random dude kept insisting, "Man, just remember I was trying to be helpful!" Then he turns around and says to my friend, "Wait, don't I know you? I do know you -- you're from Hell! Yeah, you're down there in Hell, and don't be countin' on Jesus to rescue you from down there." Then he turned around and walked away. Honestly, it was one of those times when I wished there was someone in attendance who was named Jesus. Okay, I know it's a little generalizing to say that there's a fair amount of Hispanics who are named Jesus, but it would've been ever so sweet to have someone step up and tell this random dude, "Hey man, I'm Jesus, and I'll pull my boy here out of Hell anytime. He can count on me."

The government must've been reading my recent rants and decided they want to punish me into death by legal means. So they've hit me up with a $300+ tab for my 2004 taxes. Blargh.

Reprinted from October 3, 2002 New! From Microsquash, it's GirlFriend™ 1.0 System Requirements: - Cash... lots and lots of cash - Style/ability to purchase own clothes and dress oneself without a fuss - Closet space (essential for upgrade to Version 2.0 and future installation of Wife™ 1.0) - Car (Hyundai and Kia models and any model over 12 years old will only work with experimental beta versions) - Job/security - Ability to be romantic, especially under spontaneous circumstances - Worldly experiences/maturity - Sexual prowess - Freedom from parents (Version 1.0 Plus may require enough attachment to parents for trust fund) - Lack of emotional issues, especially those pertaining to previously installed versions of GirlFriend™ - Resemblance to Ben Affleck Limited Warranty/Disclaimers: - GirlFriend™ may deplete system resources and bank account. Microsquash takes no responsibility for this occurrence. - GirlFriend™ may require constant maintenance and attention. Microsquash does not provide tech support. Refer to friends, advice columns in various publications or the syndicated call-in show "Loveline" for assistance. Do not consult Dr. Joyce Brothers. - GirlFriend™ may cause mild alienation among your circle of friends if used excessively. - The Sex® plug-in may not be compatible with GirlFriend™. - Attempting to uninstall GirlFriend™ may result in mass destruction of your property, rumor-mongering among GirlFriend's Friends® plug-in and your avoidance of certain locations for fear of "bumping into" GirlFriend™ or various versions of the GirlFriend's Friends® plug-in. - In extreme cases, the Ex-Boyfriend® plug-in may cause problems. If trouble persists, call your local police department or kung-fu dojo.

Senate Passes Legislation on Schiavo Case Again, I love how the Senate is "scrambling to bring members back for an emergency vote on Sunday" and our fearless President is "rushing back from his Texas ranch for a chance to sign the measure," and yet when it comes to overhauling the budget to reduce our deficit or providing for the homeless or shoring up our educational system or trying to provide universal health care, these things get stalled in Congress for weeks/months/years on end. But throw some brain-dead woman with no hope of recovery into the mix, and everyone suddenly has a moral cause to fight for. What about all the conscious people dying in hospitals these days because health care is underfunded, or have inoperable diseases and afflictions because scientific research budgets were cut? What about all the people dying on the streets today because it's -10 degrees and they have no shelter to go to and no food to eat? What about the kids who are growing up today with no hope of any job except counter work at a McDonald's or being a janitor because their schools couldn't teach them how to read past the sixth-grade level? Fuck you, Congress. Fuck you and your bankrupt moral values. This more than anything makes me want to accept the Toronto-based job that was offered to me and leave the country that I have loved and supported for so long no matter what, because saving one brain-dead woman who has no hope of recovery has become more important to my government than saving thousands who could be saved if they put as much effort into it as they are for Terri Schiavo.

There's something wrong with the world today I don't know what it is Something's wrong with our eyes... The color picture in the middle of the front page of this morning's paper features an elderly woman looking appropriately concerned. Something is very wrong in her universe. According to her, "The WORLD needs Terri to LIVE!" She's talking about Terri Schiavo, of course. If you've been living under a rock or somewhere deep in the jungle, you may not have heard that yet another decision was made allowing doctors to remove the feeding tube of Terri Schiavo -- who's literally been a vegetable for the last 15 years -- and let her die. Mind you, there have been two independent decisions that found there was no medical way Terri could recover from the brain-dead state she's been in since 1990, yet the government continues to become involved, this time all the way up to Congress. Look. We easily euthanize pets to put them out of their misery. Why do we insist on keeping people alive? Why are we taking up Congress' time and taxpayers' dollars with this matter? Why are people who have absolutely no personal connection to the Schiavos becoming so rabidly involved to the point where they believe they know what the world needs -- and it involves them? It's been said more than once that Terri Schiavo will not regain consciousness, and yet people are trying desperately to keep her alive. What kind of life is she living if she's perpetually unconscious? It's not worth it. I say pull the plug, and people should mind their own damn business. There's no reason for Congress to get involved with any of this -- our national legislative body should not be playing God. We're seeing things in a different way And God knows it ain't His It sure ain't no surprise... Speaking of Congress getting involved with things they shouldn't be spending time on, why the hell are they calling Jose Canseco and all these sports players on the carpet? Aren't there other things Congress could be spending its time on instead of steroids in sports? Let me give them a few suggestions: We've got homeless people, not enough people in this country have health care, our deficit is way out of control, our education system is sorely lacking, the air quality here in Los Angeles gets worse and worse by the day... do I need to go on? There's something wrong with the world today The light bulb's getting dim There's meltdown in the sky... Another article in today's paper scared the crap out of me. It seems that the Pentagon has taken a "first strike" attitude, which means that in all the battle plans that it's creating, it's making provisions for launching preemptive attacks against countries that may prove a threat to the U.S. Basically, what this means is that if Bush and his cronies decide a country may prove to be a threat to us, we can overrun them without provocation. So, we're already embroiled in two situations around the world where we've obliterated governments and are expending countless American lives, we're making enemies pretty much wherever we go, and our government isn't satisfied. This is the kind of thing that makes us more susceptible to terrorist attacks, not less. This is the kind of attitude that makes people want to take us down -- and do so through whatever means they can -- in order to "protect" their countries and interests. Rumsfeld basically summed it up with his "coalition of the willing" description: If you're not with us, you're against us, and if you're against us, we're going to blow you away. And it's the kind of attitude I get from rabid conservatives that makes me sick -- if you're not with us, you're against us, and you can leave the country any time you want. Well, last time I checked, this is still a free country, and I'm allowed (and should be encouraged!) to disagree, because if I don't, then it becomes less of a democracy and more of a dictatorship. Just because I disagree with the policies of our government, it doesn't make me any less of an American and it doesn't make me love our country any less. If you can judge a wise man By the color of his skin Then mister, you're a better man than I... Will someone please tell me why Paris Hilton is famous? Does she contribute anything positive to society besides being a rich, drugged-out, spoiled princess? I have absolutely no idea how -- and why -- she got so popular. She and Courtney Love deserve the same punishment: banishment to obscurity. That would be the worst possible thing either of them could ever experience. We're livin' on the edge. Right-click and save as. Aerosmith - "Livin' on the Edge"

10 random tracks from iTunes. No comments or snickering from the Peanut Gallery. 1. Van Halen - "Everybody Wants Some" 2. Hooverphonic - "Pink Fluffy Dinosaurs" 3. Neil Diamond - "Love on the Rocks" 4. Audioslave - "Be Yourself" 5. Underworld - "Cowgirl" 6. Gerardo - "Rico Suave" 7. Main Source - "Lookin' At the Front Door" 8. Dixie Chicks - "Goodbye Earl" 9. Pantera - "Cemetery Gates (Demon Knight Edit)" 10. Brand New - "Sic Transit Gloria ... Glory Fades"

The Canadians are coming... and there's no stopping them! Los Angeles, say hello to the latest Canadian import: 93.1 Jack FM -- Playing What We Want. Okay, it may be amusing for a while, but just wait until you hear a segue like AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" into Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music White Boy" that is so jarring that you drive off the side of the road. Don't say I didn't warn you, but that kind of thing is probably not covered under your auto insurance. I checked my policy already.