- Last night, I dreamed I was on The Apprentice. I know, I can't believe my brain has degenerated to the point where instead of placing me into quality television programming -- wait, that doesn't really exist anymore... anyways, I was on a freakin' reality TV show. And the hell of it all is, I did something stupid on the show, and my entire team was blaming me for their potential loss. I've never been so happy to be woken up by my alarm. - The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says cell phone use while driving is increasing. Personally, I'm a big fan of hang up and drive. It's very very rare that I will have a conversation on a cell phone while I'm behind the wheel... mostly because when I get to where I'm going, I realize I was running on autopilot the whole time and can't really remember actually going through the actions of driving. And that kind of scares me. As a result, I also try to discourage others from calling me while they're driving. But what really scares me is that almost every time I pull up to a red light, when I check the cars around me, all of the drivers are on cell phones. And not those fancy schmancy hands-free getups either. - Joe Cocker is coming into my office today to say hi to us. Dude. Joe Cocker. There are some times when my workplace really kicks ass.

Okay, I'll admit it. I got jealous of Maroon 5. They got their iMix all prominently featured on the iTunes Music Store, and now people are going to exposed to cool music that has meaning to the bandmembers that they might not have heard before. So I figured, why can't I do the same thing? Unfortunately, a good number of the songs I wanted to post aren't available on the iTMS, so I had to limit my song selection. But behold my list of cool stuff that you should know and have, and if you don't have it, purchase and download it from iTMS now! In no particular order (perhaps possibly alphabetically by artist): 1. Audioslave - "I Am the Highway." This song is so amazing. Chris Cornell's almost-mournful dirge that, to me, sounds like he's trying to extricate himself from a dependent partner. Plus, it's great to listen to while you're out on the open road in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. 2. Brand New - "I Will Play My Game Beneath the Spin Light." The lonely life of a touring band put so poetically that the lines "I would kill for the Atlantic, but I am paid to make girls panic while I sing" almost brings tears to my eyes. 3. Bright Eyes - "Lover I Don't Have to Love." Who knew a random hookup could be described so plaintively? 4. BT & M. Doughty - "Never Gonna Come Back Down." Hoo ah, ex-Soul Coughing lead singer M. Doughty! And BT! It's fast-paced and fun and frenetic and other non-explicit positive f-words! 5. Catherine Wheel - "Black Metallic." I have a particular soft spot for Catherine Wheel, and this is probably their best song. 6. Finch - "Letters to You." A great rock love song. 7. Handsome Boy Modeling School - "Once Again (To Kick One for You)." Laid-back hip-hop to kick back and chill to. 8. Head Automatica - "Brooklyn Is Burning." Disco is back and updated for the new millennium! And it kicks ass. 9. Interpol - "NYC." Listening to this song makes me want to discover religion. 10. Jimmy Eat World - "Futures." It is downright impossible to feel cynical or negative while listening to this song. If you're an optimist or in need of a pick-me-up, this is for you. 11. Matthew Good Band - "Hello Time Bomb." A good song from an overlooked Canadian alternative band. As lead singer Matthew Good describes it, it's about a guy working in a convenience store who wants to masturbate while thinking about all the women he wants to hook up with. It's not as sick and twisted as it sounds. 12. Nickelback - "Leader of Men." Okay, people, Nickelback actually did have a few good songs before they became ubiquitous with "How You Remind Me." This doesn't sound like their other stuff. 13. OK Go - "What to Do." Another overlooked band, and the entire album is good. This song is nonoffensive elitist complaint rock for smart people, and people who aren't smart will like it for the chorus and the cool chords and not know any better. 14. Our Lady Peace - "Innocent." I seem to have a jones for overlooked Canadian bands. But the song is a great non-after-school-special rock song about kids and the issues people face in the world. 15. The Pixies - "Wave of Mutilation (UK Surf)." Okay, so I could've gone for the obvious track with "Where Is My Mind?" but this specific version of the track is off the Pump Up the Volume soundtrack and is one of those great, haunting songs that you should listen to if you're depressed and want music that echoes your mood. 16. Rubyhorse - "Fell on Bad Days." When the world is giving you a royal spanking, this is another great song to listen to. I love the twangy guitar riff. 17. Silvertide - "Ain't Comin' Home." Southern-fried rock at its finest, although Silvertide really should thank The Black Crowes for their sound. Also a great driving song. 18. Stone Temple Pilots - "Crackerman." One of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands. It's impossible not to step down harder on the gas pedal or start head-banging a little when you listen to this song. 19. The Von Bondies - "C'mon C'mon." Man, it's so punk rock for the 21st Century. Listen to this and just try not to pogo to it.

This is cracking me up. Following what I thought was a hilarious parody of one of those short movies designed to scare you into going to the doctor (it aired on Cartoon Network's Robot Chicken), the Prostate Cancer Coalition has issued a press release calling attention to Optimus Prime's death from prostate cancer. “When it comes to prostate cancer, there’s more than meets the eye,” National Prostate Cancer Coalition CEO Richard N. Atkins, M.D. said. "“Being a Tractor Truck, Optimus should have known the importance of check-ups – oil, anti-freeze, spark plugs – the works. It comes as such a surprise – my kids loved that guy.” Note to PETA: Get on board. If you want people to stop making fun of you and take your half-baked ideas somewhat seriously, it helps to have a sense of humor about things. Maybe start with some Pulp Fiction bumperstickers with a picture of Jules' head and a speech bubble that says, "Soy tastes goooood. Tofu tastes gooooood."