Note to the dorky guy who pulled into the spot next to me in the parking garage at work today: Look, I like Rage Against the Machine as much as the next guy. And quite frankly, “Sleep Now in the Fire” is my favorite song by them. But if you’re going to sing along loudly with Zach de la Rocha, it helps to get the lyrics right. “Sleep Now in the Fire” is a very angry, politically charged song about slavery and oppression, and I seriously doubt Zach was singing “the nuisance, the waitress” during the chorus. In fact, I’m pretty sure he was chanting “the noose and the rapist.”
Note to the nation: Now that allegations are surfacing that Iran’s new elected leader might have been part of the big hostage ordeal of 1979, our Fearless Leader™ is questioning his past. So what happens if it turns out that he was actually one of the hostage-takers? I’m guessing there’s a slight chance that Bush might use that as his excuse to overrun Iran as well and try to remake the entire Middle East over into his own image.
How I’m spending my holiday weekend: My best friend is moving from Spokane to Denver, so at the asscrack of dawn on Saturday morning, I’m flying up to Spokane, getting in a car and driving with her to Denver, then flying back to Los Angeles from Denver on Monday night. By the time this weekend is through, I’ll have flown almost 2000 miles and driven just over 1100.
I am a road warrior. Although one of my co-workers heard me on the phone with my best friend today and said, “Are you sure she’s going to be able to stand being stuck in a car with you for two days straight?”
Eve 6 - “Open Road Song” — don’t be a dick, right-click.
My lovely government is trying to pass legislature making burning the American flag illegal. Never mind the fact that right now, it seems that most of the American flag-burning is going on in foreign countries where this law won’t carry any kind of weight whatsoever, I want to know how they’re going to legislate disposing of all the old, tattered flags.
I quote the U.S. Flag Code (which has been in effect since 1923), Section 8 (ironically titled “Respect for Flag"), Subsection k: “The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.”
So… anyone want to explain this latest brilliant piece of work from our government to me? Or should I just crawl into bed and attempt to sleep until 2008?
Okay, who’s the moron who started that urban legend that Mikey from the Life cereal commercials died from eating Pop Rocks and soda? Not only is it totally not true, but I want to know why they picked him, of all people.
Rant #1:
When our own administration is putting out conflicting stories about how well things are going in Iraq and even Senators and Congressmen are starting to throw around the word “Vietnam,” things can’t be great over there. How many more days are we going to have to wake up to the news that more Americans have died in some far-off country? How many more people can we throw into Abu Ghraib and the other prisons over there? Even the guy wh oruns Abu Ghraib said he believed that we were going to end the insurgency quickly—until last December, when he realized the numbers of people being thrown in his prison was skyrocketing. “Business is booming,” he said—and that’s a direct quote. How long can this country blindly follow this kind of cavalier leadership that is giving our country a bad name throughout the world?
Rant #2:
I’m sick to death of all this damn reality TV, and I’m tired of seeing mediocre-to-just-plain-bad TV shows getting renewed when good, quality programming is getting killed after literally only a handful of episodes. On the one hand, we’ve got people who are famous simply for being reality TV stars—people who we’re now on a first-name basis with, like “Rob & Amber” or “Trista & Ryan”—who are making a living off just being on these shows, and then on the other hand, we’ve got these embarrassingly asinine shows like that moronic Stacked with Pam Anderson. The networks wonder why we’re heading off to cable networks and shows on channels like HBO? It’s because they’re feeding us this crap. I’ll take Rescue Me over Fire Me ... Please every day of the week and twice on Sundays.
A friend of mine who’s a writer-director-filmmaker-etc. called me up on Friday to ask a favor. Seems he was set to film a movie on Saturday afternoon, but one of his actors dropped out at the last second. Was I free on Saturday, and would I like to be an extra?
It was an interesting experience to say the least, but I know now what it’s like for my actor friends who complain that they spend hours and hours doing the same thing over and over and over and over again. I can’t tell you how many times I picked that weenie-in-a-blanket off the cocktail server’s tray. And it took us 4 hours to film 2 scenes.
Two interesting things said to me that afternoon:
1. From one of the actresses, who pays the bills by working as a veteranarian tech: “Last night, a woman called to say her dog was crying all night and could she give it a Xanax. She didn’t believe me and made me call the doctor on call to tell her she couldn’t do it.”
2. From one of the producers, who saw me dressed all day in costume and then said this after I’d just changed into street clothes: “Wow! You went from stockbroker to looking flat broke in like five seconds!” Apparently, I dress like a bum...?
According to the spam e-mails I’ve received over the past 24 hours, my breasts could use some firming and/or enlargement, people are trying to hack into accounts I have with three different banks that I’ve never even heard of and I can refinance the mortgage on my non-existent house for an amazing rate.
I love the Internets!
Adam Sandler wasn’t kidding—there really are a whole buncha Jews in rock ‘n’ roll. Yes, Virginia, Jews Rock. I’m just happy to be part of the roster.
So, you know how there are fanatics for Star Trek and Star Wars and have conventions and run around trying to get autographs from everyone in the show/movies and know everything there is to know about them? Apparently, there are some people out there who are just as obsessed with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory—the original one, not this remake coming out later this summer.
Check out these pictures of the cast’s 1999 reunion. All the kids from the movie are grown up!
Before I mount a rocket launcher on my car, here’s the rule, people: If you put on your signal to change lanes and I leave you plenty of room to get over in front of me—and you sit there for over a minute and don’t take it, you are not allowed to pull up next to me and give me the stink-eye after I hit the gas and pass you. I am not giving you 100 yards of open space and all the time in the world to change lanes.
And now, the questions that will undoubtedly keep me awake tonight: Tom Cruise, do you know you’re crazy? If a person with multiple-personality disorder commits suicide, is it considered murder? If, at the end of Old School, the frat guys get the Dean’s old house, then where does the new Dean live?
I got an e-mail today from someone who asked (albeit politely) to send him an MP3 of a song I’d previously posted here but taken down—I don’t keep songs online for longer than a couple of days, so the link was dead. Apparently, according to this person, “it is nearly impossible for people to locate a working MP3” of the song he was asking for.
Okay, people, here’s the deal: I post a song or two every now and then for your enjoyment and in order to expose you to new artists. I am not a free download service. If I post a song that you happen to like, that’s great, and if you want more, I can point you in the direction of several online and realtime music stores where you can buy their albums and support the artists. If I post a song that you wanted and you missed it because I took it down, tough noogies—especially if you simply found the dead link because you were doing a Google search to download the MP3. If you’re that hard up for the song and don’t want to buy the whole album, there’s always the iTunes Music Store, where you can cough up a buck and buy just that track. (Ironically, when I told the person to look for it on iTunes, they claimed it wasn’t available—but I somehow managed to find the track available for sale in less than a minute.)
Downloads are offline, and I will refrain from posting new songs for a while until I am no longer pissed off about this situation. If anyone is upset about that, I will gladly supply the e-mail address of the person who ruined it for you so you can go yell at them.
It almost seems that with the summer solstice, computers went awry. First, I read that Joelle couldn’t access her e-mail. Then, I read that Becky‘s Internet connection wasn’t stable. Finally, I got to work today where all hell broke loose—we were initially attacked by an AIM virus so they shut off our AIM access, then near the end of the night, my work computer decided to fry itself because it can’t handle video files.
I frustratedly told our IT guy just before I left the office around 11pm, “I’m sorry if I’m being a pain in the ass. I’m used to working on a Mac, where everything works like it’s supposed to.”
Today marks the first day of summer. That also means that it’s my half-birthday today, and while I don’t feel old, it means I’m another half-year closer to an important age landmark that others might consider old. So, if I’m getting older, I might as well act old and curmudgeonly.
I am way disappointed in America and our creative outlets. This summer, three of the supposed “blockbuster” movies are remakes! What, we can’t do any better than to dredge up stuff that’s already been done and decide to “update” it? I find it horrible that this is the best we have to offer when studios are flooded with hundreds of scripts on a daily basis—I’m sure one of them has got to be worthy of being made into a feature-length movie instead of just taking something that’s already been done, gussying it up with modern-day special effects and presenting it to the masses to mindlessly take in.
Ugh. It makes me want to drink more.
So, I drank last night. A LOT. To the point where I think I was still drunk when I woke up this morning. Needless to say, I was also kind of on the brink of total systemic failure for most of the morning. Then again… I did walk into the bar swearing I was going to get staggeringly drunk last night, so… mission accomplished. My friends thought I was hilarious—not that I’m not usually hilarious, but apparently much more so when I’m completely smashed. At one point, I did ask the person whose birthday it was (who invited everyone to the bar and therefore knew everyone there), “So, who here can I hit on?”
Amused by: FeedLindsay.com. I mean, seriously. That girl needs a sandwich or 10. What is up with her suddenly-waifish look? Please join the campaign to help Lindsay Lohan regain that voluptuous look we all know and love! Repeat after me: A girl with a little meat on her bones is not a bad thing. Thank you. And I’m apparently not alone in that thought—at press time, the poll stands at 89% of respondents thinking Lindsay is too damn skinny at present.
Pissed off at: my cable company, who claims they are “committed to providing the highest quality cable television service at the best possible price,” but the chickenfuckers just took away 13 of my movie channels without lowering the price of my monthly service! I say again: Chickenfuckers!
Satiated by: Vanilla Stoli and Diet Coke. It’s like a vanilla Coke, but with alcohol, which makes it infinitely better.
While I’m young and while I’m able, all I want to do is: play. (Right-click and save as.)
Tom Cruise Proposes to Katie Holmes
Holmes has said she’s embracing the Church of Scientology — Cruise’s religion. The former star of television’s “Dawson’s Creek” has said she grew up wanting to marry Cruise.
Coming soon to a theater near you: A plague of locusts.
Friday random 10 from iTunes:
1. Poe - “Hello (Band Version)”
2. Soul Asylum - “Without a Trace”
3. Delerium featuring Sarah McLachlan - “Silence (DJ Tiesto In Search of Sunrise Mix)”
4. Pointer Sisters - “I’m So Excited”
5. Face To Face - “Popeye the Sailor Man”
6. The Blue Hawaiians - “Martini Five-O”
7. Los Amigos Invisibles - “Sexy”
8. Dispatch - “Here We Go”
9. Ben Lee - “Catch My Disease”
10. The Von Bondies - “C’mon C’mon”