5 mile walk + 4 solid hours of dancing at Bootie + 3 hours of sleep = Ow.
Tidbits from the weekend:
- Wedding Crashers is frickin’ funny. And I know Rachel McAdams has been around for a whlie, but this is the first time I’ve seen her in anything, and she is cute.
- My aggravating upstairs neighbor is moving out! Hooray!
- I had a stellar time at Bootie on Saturday, what with the great music and the dancing and the glavin. I was on the dance floor for four solid hours, and I also got a chance to meet Amandarin. Sadly, my body also decided that after three hours of sleep, it wanted to wake me up and complain about things, so I didn’t get the recovery time I wanted, and my brain was pissed.
- The Great Rewiring of 2005™ is complete. My living room may be slightly in disarray, but at least all of my electronics are connected and work the way they’re supposed to.
I have no idea why I’m still watching that asinine Hooking Up show. Aside from the women being a little shallow and having all these silly and stupid rules and kind of one-dimensional (both personality-wise and emotionally), they’re all kind of… well, dumb. And I hate to admit it, but dumb people annoy me. I don’t suffer fools gladly, I never have. Life’s too short to put up with annoyances like that, and there are enough quality people I can surround myself with. You want me to admit it? Okay, I admit it—I’m an intellectual elitist.
And I’ll also admit to being a musical elitist. But I’d like to think that I’m not as bad as some of the musical elitists out there (*cough* *cough* l.a. weekly *cough*) who only like things that other people haven’t heard of and hate everything mainstream. I like stuff if it’s good, even if it’s mainstream, and I don’t like stuff if it’s bad.
Okay, I had a nice segue to my next item here, but my train of thought just completely and utterly derailed and fell off a bridge because there’s someone on this stupid Hooking Up show who I went to college with. He’s on a date with that girl Amy. And he was in the rival singing group in college too. Fornicator of poultry! He rubbed me the wrong way then, and he rubs me the wrong way now.
Aaugh. Flurm. Plont. Okay, focus, focus, focus. Right. Bootie L.A. is this Saturday and you better be there. One last tidbit to entice you to attend. Don’t be a dick, right-click.
Lionel Vinyl - “Owner of a Lovely Butt” (Yes vs. Sir Mix-a-Lot)
Hooray! I’m going to see Lewis Black tonight! Lew is part of my perfect trifecta of comedy, so it’s no wonder that this will be the fourth time I’ve seen him live in the last three years.
In other news, if the signal’s legit, you must acquit: O.J. Simpson was fined $25,000 for stealing DirecTV. I know he’s living on the cheap these days because he owes Nicole Brown Simpson’s family something on the order of $30+ million, but somehow I think subscribing probably would’ve been less expensive for him in the long run.
And finally, Bootie, Bootie, Bootie. Bootie L.A. this Saturday night. Go. Bring a friend. Bring 10 friends. Here’s a little somethin’ somethin’ to get you in the mood. Don’t be a dick, right-click.
Party Ben - “Tipsy Butterfly” (Crazy Town vs. Steve Miller Band vs. J-Kwon)
There’s been a ton of buzz all over the place regarding this “payola” settlement between Eliot Spitzer and Sony BMG, and I expect that over the next few weeks/months, more record labels and radio companies will come forth with similar settlements and also offer up equally damning “evidence” for the public to eat up and become outraged over.
Quite frankly, I’m surprised that there’s such a huge uproar over this. Folks, this is the way business is done—and I’m not just talking about in the music industry. If Eliot Spitzer really wants to uncover some evil truths about payola, maybe he should look within our own government, where PACs and lobbyists get companies to buy off government officials on a daily basis. You know why prescription drugs cost so much? It’s because drug companies throw trips and great tickets to expensive events at doctors all the time. If you work at a big enough company, they’ve probably given gifts to clients in order to woo them to sign on with your company.
Yes, record labels routinely take radio people out for meals and to events. It’s calling building a relationship, as I’m sure people in your company have routinely taken their clients out—and yet you’re not being hit with multimillion-dollar settlements or the scorn of the public. As one guy who was targeted by this payola investigation said to one of my co-workers yesterday, “Anytime I took a trip, it had nothing to do with airplay of a specific song or artist; what those labels chose to write these trips off against, it’s up to them to explain. In the business world, if a billion-dollar company offers you tickets or hotel, do people really ask, ‘Where is this money coming from?’ No, they just accept.”
And in the end, a hit is a hit is a hit, and no amount of radio programmers pushing airplay is going to make the public like a song any more, no matter what they were given to play it.
On a whim, an old friend of mine and I went to Luna Park for S’mores and drinks after dinner. Hoooooly crap. Best. Place. Ever. Like seriously? In one night, this place shot up to being one of my favorite places to go in Los Angeles. And on top of the great bartender who treated us so well and the manager who played great music and the people who sat next to us at the bar who were fun, I even randomly ran into three people who I went to college with and haven’t seen in 7 years.
And now, Things That Were Either Said By Me Or Said In My Presence Tonight™:
- “Look! We’re building a menagerie!”
- “There will be no camel-humping here tonight, not even by mermaids!”
- “I am not preventing the heat death of the universe, I’m contributing to it. Look, I’m generating kinetic energy!”
- “I said ’freebase our chocolate,’ not ’three-way our chocolate.’”
- “Step off, Asian woman! You’re not getting my Hello Kitty hat!”
I’m about T-minus six hours away from completely being able to launch myself into orbit, as Stage One of a big project that’s been in the works for about eight months will finally be complete, paving the way for Stages Two and Three within the next two months. I can finally start counting in weeks instead of months! Tom Petty was right, the waiting is the hardest part.
Last night, I saw deSol for the second time—I highly recommend them. The cool thing about them is that their music is Latin, but they sing mostly in English, which is a bonus for the schmucks like me who don’t speak Spanish and like Latin-flavored music but can’t get past the fact that I have no friggin’ clue what they’re saying.
Don’t forget—Bootie L.A. is next Saturday. Tell a friend. Tell several. Bring them. Bring your friends’ friends. Bring random people, as long as they’re not unwashed and smell of cheese. To keep you in the mood to go to Bootie L.A., check out this mashup—as usual, right-click and save as, or I will find you and mash you.
This one’s going out to everyone in the L.A. area… and I’m asking you to help me spread the word and, well, show up too.
So my friend Party Ben, who got all world-famous with his “Boulevard of Broken Songs” mashup featuring Green Day and Oasis and Travis and Eminem, is coming to Los Angeles at the end of July. He and some other mashup DJs do a monthly mashup club night in San Francisco called Club Bootie, and they’re kicking off a Los Angeles affiliate on Saturday, July 30. Introducing Bootie L.A.
I’m told it’s wicked fun, and I’m really looking forward to finally getting a chance to experience it myself. They pack the club in San Francisco, and they’re hoping to do the same here in Los Angeles. So if you’ve been enjoying all those mashups that I’ve been posting here, grab your friends and come to Bootie L.A. a week from Saturday—they’ll even be giving away free mashup CDs! Details are on the Bootie L.A. website.
Here’s a small taste of the kind of stuff you’ll be hearing at Bootie L.A. Right-click and save as, kids.
1. So I saw War of the Worlds last night, and I was less than amused. Maybe I’m jaded because I’ve already seen the original movie and read the H.G. Wells book, and you know my feelings on remakes. But while the effects were cool, I had issues with the storyline (including a TON of technical ones in the first half-hour), Tim Robbins’ character was frighteningly flat (especially considering how he influences Tom Cruise), the whole thing with the son saying “I have to be here” was just lame, the aliens looked a hell of a lot like the aliens from Independence Day (except for that three-armed-and-legged thing), and Tom Cruise was just… Tom Cruise. Then again, besides Collateral, in what movie has he not just played Tom Cruise?
2. I’ve surprised a few people over the last couple of days by not finding certain women attractive. For me, it’s not so much the features as how they’re arranged. I can’t say I’m generally attracted to women with dark hair, dark eyes and small noses or blonde hair, light eyes and big noses because it’s how all how the features are put together to form the overall picture. It’s like saying just because red and blue and orange are your favorite colors, it doesn’t mean you will love every painting with those colors—you’ll love some paintings because of how they strike you when you see how they’re arranged on the canvas in the final product.
Check it: Blink 182 - “Man Overboard”—don’t be a dick, right-click.
Well, despite the 17-1 full-on whomping my beloved Red Sox gave the Accursed Yankees™ last Friday, that was the only game of the series they won, and the inevitable post-All Star Game slide is beginning. It’s pretty much a given that the Sox will be in first place until the All Star Break, giving fans everywhere hope, and then they blow the lead starting just after the Break. If you’ll kindly look at the AL East stats, the Sox are now only half a game ahead of the Accursed Yankees™ and a full game ahead of the Orioles, who I have no feelings for either way. Well, at least some things in the Universe remain constant.
And Oompa-Loompas still freak me out a little. They’re devious, evil little bastards. Beware the Oompa-Loompas.
SETTING: KEITH’s apartment. 9am this morning as he is getting ready to leave so he can get to work early for a staff meeting.
CHARACTERS: KEITH, and the orange CAT that the girl upstairs has—it’s become fond of KEITH, apparently.
BEGIN SCENE.
KEITH walks out of his front door and stands on his stoop. He sees the morning newspaper lying on the ground down the three steps leading down from his stoop and reaches for it to pick it up while holding open his front door. As KEITH turns to toss the paper into his apartment, an orange streak shoots up the three stairs past KEITH, through the open doorway and into the apartment.
KEITH: Goddammit!
[KEITH heads back into his apartment and begins chasing CAT around his apartment.]
KEITH: [ad libs] C’mere, cat! Get the hell out of my apartment! Cat! Dammit! Come! Here!
[yelling continues ad libbed, laced with mild profanity]
[Five minutes of KEITH chasing CAT around the apartment ensues]
Finally, KEITH corners CAT, grabs it and holds it close to him so it can’t get away, then tosses it out of the apartment. KEITH goes to change his clothes so he’s not wearing clothes covered in cat fur, takes Allegra and waits for the allergy attack to be overwith so he can drive to work while actually being able to see without his eyes watering or itching and without sneezing.
END SCENE.
Long hours at work, another few days pushing back the day when That Which Will Reduce My Stress™ will occur, less than adequate amounts of sleep and the Bush Administration are all freakin’ me out, man. I’m not a happy camper, but I guess the only thing I really can do is push on through. That, and wear my Red Sox gear proudly at the Giants-Dodgers game I’m going to tonight and hope that someone in the stadium wants to take issue with that. As Rob Dickinson of Catherine Wheel said, “I’ve got bad ideas and ballast on my mind.”
Catherine Wheel - “Sparks Are Gonna Fly”
Don’t be a dick, right-click.
And now, following a 13-hour workday and a 5-mile walk to get my first exercise in days, I crawl into my own bed for the first time in 5 days as well. Sleeping on an air mattress on the floor may be functional and may allow my father the luxury of my bed, but it doesn’t do much to really recharge my own batteries.
In the meantime, please enjoy this. It’s the homemade video for the new song from OK Go, a highly underrated band whose first album I love and should’ve gotten more attention than it did and whose second album is coming out next month. Mind you, the band is calling this “the 50 cent video” for a good reason—and not because 50 Cent the rapper was involved, because he wasn’t. It literally cost them 50 cents to make, and that was about the cost of the actual film they used to tape the video. They choreographed the whole thing themselves, then set up a stationary camera on a tripod in one of the guys’ backyards and did their thing. Trust me, it’s worth a look.
So, my parents are done with visiting me and they’re on their way back to Arizona. While they were here, they finished my liquor, and when they left, they left their used towels and sheets and blankets strewn all over the place for me to collect and wash. And here I thought I was supposed to do that when I went to their house…
Thankfully, my parents’ visit did not live up to my expectations. My father was on good behavior, which somehow resulted in him buying me an iPod. I suppose it makes up for the fact that I’ve been kicked out of my own bed and am sleeping on an air mattress on my floor… which made for a startling wakeup call yesterday morning when I woke up and blearily opened one eye to see someone’s face only inches away from mine. After I peeled myself off the ceiling, I realized that, well, it was my own face only inches away from mine, and I’d been startled awake by the sight of my face in the floor-to-ceiling mirror that is my sliding closet door.
The fact that I’m sleeping on my own floor means that I still haven’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in the past two weeks. That, and other stresses at work, all add up to me still being a bit too close to being at the end of my rope emotionally than I’d like. And I don’t like this feeling at all.
I get up in the evening and I ain’t got nothing to say
I come home in the morning
I go to bed feeling the same way
I ain’t nothing but tired
Man, I’m just tired and bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help…
Message keeps getting clearer
Radio’s on and I’m moving ‘round the place
I check my look in the mirror
I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face
Man, I ain’t getting nowhere
I’m just living in a dump like this
There’s something happening somewhere
Baby, I just know that there is...
--Bruce Springsteen, ”Dancing in the Dark”
In London, uninjured singer Omarion seeks prayers
American R&B crooner Omarion, who suffered no injury or inconvenience, wants people to pray for him. “Omarion was in London during the tragic bombings that struck this morning,” a statement by the singer’s publicist, released hours after the bombings, said. Making no mention of the fatalities or casualties of the blasts, the singer’s statement concluded, “He would like his fans to pray that he has a safe trip and a safe return home. He appreciates your support.” Asked why anyone should pray for him, his publicist Shana Gilmore said, “He wasn’t hurt or anything, but just the fact that he was there and all that.”
Hey, everyone—open season on this guy! Lock ‘n’ load.