Random tidbits:
- Seeing my beloved 2007 World Champion Boston Red Sox play at Dodger Stadium yesterday was awesome.  Seeing my beloved 2007 World Champion Boston Red Sox lose horribly to the Dodgers… not so awesome.  Though it was fun to be surrounded by fellow members of Red Sox Nation, and a bunch of people commented on how great my shirt was (the back said “I love New York — it’s the Yankees I hate"). 
- Every time I see a kid walking around with his pants pulled way down (as is the fashion these days I’m told), I feel the urge to yank hard on his pants and see if they’ll come down, possibly embarrassing and shaming him to the point where he might wear his pants at the appropriate place on his hips where they’re supposed to be worn.  Does anyone else feel this urge?
- Despite my own penchant for pranks and practical jokes, I hate April Fool’s Day.  It’s so predictable.  And in my line of work, everyone does the same tired old crap.  Now it’s just spreading to other countries and hemispheres.  Half the fun of pulling pranks is the unexpected nature of them and, occasionally, the subtlety of them.  For example, a co-worker once put a clock on the wall in her office at eye level, and I went in there at least once a week, changed the time and raised the clock a few inches on the wall.  When she left the company, the clock was 43 minutes ahead (having been 17 minutes behind the week before) and was only three inches from the ceiling. 
- During Barney’s quick montage of women tonight on How I Met Your Mother, did anyone else catch that one of the women who Barney had seduced and left was Madeline Albright?

Best rejection letter I’ve gotten thus far through an online dating site, and it was so great that I didn’t even feel the pangs of rejection when I read it:

Hey! Thank you for your email.  The affirmation that there are other people in L.A. that haven’t let go of there [sic] East Coast humor and sensibility is always encouraging.  Sadly, we wouldn’t be much of a match.  You want kids, I don’t — and worse yet ... you are a Sox fan and I am a Yankees fan.

Yes, there are some women out there who still get it.  And I’m way stoked to see my Sox play on Sunday at Dodger Stadium.  When did I see them last?  Oh, that’s right… WHEN THEY WON THE WORLD SERIES. 

Having waited an extra day to speak to some actual Catholics in my office about this Easter thing, I’m still no closer to an answer of how people jumped from the resurrection to chocolate bunnies.  Though given that chocolate and bunnies are two of my favorite things, I would celebrate the crap out of Easter if I wasn’t Jewish.

- For the first time in a while, I feel okay.  Apparently, the allergies got me so sick, I got both a sinus and bronchial infection, so now I’m on two different medications to keep me in decent health.  However, I will say that the combination of the meds is apparently making me a little loopy, which highly amused my date last night. 
- I was thoroughly convinced that the plans I’d made with Eve were for Sunday morning, and I was looking forward to a leisurely Saturday morning before running some errands.  So imagine my surprise Saturday morning when I was halfway through last week’s episode of Reaper and my phone rang — it was Eve, asking me which apartment number I was in, since the thing we were going to was on Saturday, not Sunday.  I hadn’t even brushed my teeth yet.  I’m still shocked that I managed to go from being parked at the jetway to full-throttle takeoff in 15 minutes. 
- I’m heading to New York for business next month, and apparently my subconscious is already obsessing about it, since I dreamed last night about racing to the airport only to realize I hadn’t actually bought an airline ticket.  Then again, in realtime, I haven’t booked a flight or a hotel yet.  But there is one part I’m really looking forward to — I haven’t been back to my old hometown in 6 years, so I plan on staying an extra day, renting a car and driving up to Connecticut to see my old neighborhood.  It’ll be extremely strange going back there, especially since I won’t be able to go inside the house I grew up in.
- Next Sunday, I’m seeing the Red Sox again, but this time, they’re here in L.A. playing the Dodgers.  It still feels a little surreal when I think about the fact that I am one of less than 100,000 people on the planet who’s been present for a Red Sox World Series victory.  That’s something to tell the grandkids about.
- Yes, I’m still a little upset that CBS cancelled Jericho again.  Yes, I know it’s just a TV show.  But it was really well-written and well-done, and it was a hell of a lot better than most of the crap out there on TV right now.  That said, I have broken my no-reality-TV rule over the past few weeks to watch an old college friend on Here Come the Newlyweds on ABC.

I find it remarkably… coincidental, shall we say, that as we speed towards the Presidential election this November and as things move even more swiftly towards the Democratic National Convention (now just over five months away!), HBO has decided to start re-airing Primary Colors, a movie based on a book that is based pretty damn closely on the 1992 Presidential campaign of Bill Clinton — which doesn’t exactly paint him or his wife in a good light.  Remarkable how, despite all the political movies out there, they’d start running this one again, especially since it’ll be airing three times a week starting April 1.

Round Two of the insane dealings with technical people who run around getting nowhere occurred at work today.

From: Keith
To: IT Dept.
It’s happening again.  I was told by three separate people today that they’ve sent me e-mails, and these e-mails are not showing up in my inbox.  I need to make sure I’m receiving everything that’s sent to me because a lot of people will send me information by e-mail, and I’m obviously missing stuff, some of which I’m expecting and some of which I’m not.  Please release the spam filter so I can do my job.

From: IT Dept.
To: Keith
Please forward us examples.

From: Keith
To: IT Dept.
You want me to forward you e-mails I’m not receiving?  How am I supposed to do that? 

Act IV:  In which I begin losing faith in TiVo as a wonderful product and helpful company

TiVo Customer Service Rep: Hi, thanks for calling TiVo.  I have to warn you that our systems are down tonight, so if it’s anything technical, I probably won’t be able to help you.  What’s your problem?
Keith: My remote control’s not working.
TiVo CSR: Well, sir, our system’s down tonight, so that may be causing some problems for you.
Keith: I don’t understand.  How could your system being down affect my remote control?  It’s not working at all — it’s not controlling the TiVo or the TV like it usually does, and it shouldn’t need access to the TiVo systems to do either.
TiVo CSR: You say your remote control isn’t working?
Keith: That’s right.
TiVo CSR: Well, we can go ahead and send you a new one.  Can I get your TiVo Service Number?
Keith: Sure, it’s--
TiVo CSR: Hang on a moment, please, I need to write this down.
Time passes....
Keith: You still there?
TiVo CSR: Yes, sir, I was waiting for you.
Keith: Umm… okay… here’s my Service Number.  [gives service number]
TiVo CSR: Great, we’ll send you out a new remote.
Keith: It’ll be free, right?  It should still be under the 90-day warranty.
TiVo CSR: It should be.
Keith: Great.  How long will it take to get here?
TiVo CSR: Yes.
Keith: What?
TiVo CSR: Yes, we’ll send you out a new remote.
Keith: Uh… huh.  How long will it take to get here?
TiVo CSR: Three to five business days.  Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?  I have to warn you that our systems are down, so I won’t be able to really help you with anything technical.
Keith: No, I just… need the remote.  The TiVo’s pretty useless without it.
TiVo CSR: Well, sir, our systems are down, so that could be causing some problems for you tonight.
Keith: Right… thanks.

Edited to add: The insanity continues — I got an e-mail confirmation from TiVo this morning… she had the wrong remote sent, it won’t work on my model.  I have to call back and see if they can change it to the right remote before this one gets shipped out.

At this point, I would somehow — somehow find a goat in Los Angeles (or some other non-sequiturish-type animal… a yak, maybe?) and sacrifice it to the gods if the pollen would just go away.  We’re at like a Stage 14 pollen alert here, and I couldn’t be more miserable.  And the funny thing is… despite how wonderful the weather is outside (sunny and 75F), I’m inclined to stay in because the air is just killing me.  I didn’t have seasonal allergies before I moved here, and I might be inclined to have someone go into my head and rip out my sinuses at this point so I never have to experience them again.

Yeah, I’m not a very good patient.

The IMs and phone calls began rolling in early this afternoon:  Spitzer Is Linked to Prostitution Ring.  That’s right, the same guy who ran rampant through the music industry on his high horse, telling everyone how “dirty” it was and how he was going to clean it up — and oh, by the way, did the same thing with a couple of prostitution rings! — has a bit of dirt himself.  Hang on a moment while I react to this… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

The jokes were flying fast and hard today:  “I guess he condones ‘pay for play’ after all.” “First he screwed the industry, then he screwed a call girl.” “Spitzer got screwed by a prostitution ring.” “Definition of ‘karma’: See ‘Spitzer, Eliot.’” Yes, I realize that a number of people (including Spitzer’s 20-plus-year wife and daughters) will be hurt by this, but he reaped what he sowed, and to many people in my industry whose way of life he either dramatically altered or completely destroyed, he got what was coming to him.

You ever notice how it’s the people who are high and mighty are the ones who usually fall hard from grace?  It’s always the ones who openly preach punishment and repression and morality who are suddenly discovered to be embroiled in these scandals that go against everything they’ve been screaming about.  Ex-Senator Larry “Wide Stance” Craig:  called Bill Clinton a “bad boy, a naughty boy” for the Lewinsky episode and went after Representative Barney Frank for supposedly being involved in a gay prostitution ring.  Ted Haggard, reverend of that megachurch in Colorado who was accused of having gay sex and using drugs with a male prostitute:  openly condemned homosexuals and encouraged his congregation to engage in “cultural warfare” against gays and those who would have abortions.  Jimmy Swaggart:  revealed Jim Bakker’s affair on TV, then was discovered to have had committed adultery with a prostitute.

Maybe it’s worth not trying to impose your own morality on others, lest they find that it mirrors their own.

So, I’m stranded in Toronto.  Apparently, Mother Nature heard my comments about how I haven’t been in a snowstorm in 6+ years, and she decided to bring one down upon Toronto on the day I was slated to leave.  They’re calling this a first-class storm, and it’s supposedly the one that will push T-Dot past its snowfall record, which was set all the way back in 1938 or something.  I’ve been hearing about a foot will fall (though I had to do the math to convert it over from centimeters, naturally), so my writing partner & I have extended our stay at our hotel one more night and scored a flight out of the city tomorrow night… after things have hopefully come to a stop and are much better weather-wise.

It’s been a neat couple of days, and as much as I mock Toronto and the Canadians, it really is a very cool city and they are very nice people.  And no, I’m not just saying that because I’ve had a few Canadian beers so far this evening and I’m feeling mellow and happy.  Besides catching up with some friends I haven’t seen in a year and making some new ones and hearing some awesome new music (at least new to me), one of the coolest experiences was seeing Alanis Morissette be inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame, and I also got to see Gordon Lightfoot perform (I know, rather clichéd, but what can I do?).  And for the first time in years, I’ve had poutine, which was actually pretty damn good.  I wonder if that means I can’t make fun of it anymore.

Pictures, including some of the snowstorm, are available here as always.

Gone moosin’.

Back in a few days… unless I create an international incident and they kick me out of the country sooner.  Tales and pictures to follow.

Those who know me in real life know that I have a morbid fascination with the end of the world — more specifically, post-apocalyptic stories about afterwards… and I’m also a fan of alternate history stories.  There’s a book in my bookshelf that contains a collection of short stories about different ways the world could end; I’ve got another one that takes place in 1972, 10 years after the Cuban Missile Crisis escalated into nuclear war; I own the book Fail Safe and I’ve seen that movie as well; and I’m glued to my TV every time Jericho is on.  I occasionally joke with my parents that their wedding anniversary was cursed — according to Terminator 2: Judgment Day, August 29 was Judgment Day.  It’s also the day that Hurricane Katrina destroyed New Orleans.  But things hit a little too close to home this weekend. 

I was in Borders, going through the stacks when I ran across an entire display of books dedicated to December 21, 2012.  Apparently, there’s a whole movement going on, following the Mayan calendar, which sees cosmic significance on that morning.  The Earth will complete its 26,000-year axis “wobble” and realign itself with Polaris, the planets in our solar system will be aligned, and our solar system will be aligned with the central plane of our galaxy.  The Mayans see this as the end of the 12th iteration of the Long Count, a calendar cycle they developed, starting our 13th cycle… a number many believe to be unlucky.  And so, the predictions about the end of the world on that day have begun evolving in force and en masse, including a comet or an asteroid striking the planet, the rise of the Antichrist, massive solar flares or a nuclear apocalypse.  The end of the world.  My birthday.

I’m going to try to forget about that for a little while, though — I’m packing up my suitcase and heading to Canada for a few days on a trip I’ve been looking forward to for a while.  Every year, the Canadians hold a music and radio industry conference, which I had a blast at last year.  This year, they’ve asked me to come up and not only appear on a panel, but also moderate another one.  Apparently, they think I’m some kind of responsible adult or something.  Either way, this deal will rapidly de-evolve into a government-sponsored alcohol-drinking competition, which I’m sure I’ll lose… with nothing better to do during the wintertime, Canadians practice drinking — I hear it helps keep you warm or something, which is probably another reason why they drink.  Plus, their beer is much stronger than American beer, and I remember last year when a bunch of Canadians got together, decided to feed this American lots of liquor and then casually ask, “So… how do you like Canada?” The only possible response in such a scenario, by the way, is “I LOVE CANADA!!!”