Let me spell things out for a couple of people who seem to have a warped, skewed and revisionist sense of the way things went last night: I did NOT get beaten up by a 14-year-old. When you're sitting down already, and then someone tackles you while you're already on the ground, how can they call that "taking you down"? You're already down. Considering that not only did I fight him off, but I ended the tussle by picking him up and putting him in the trashcan, I think it's fair to say that I was victorious. So there. And yes, I anticipated several "we're calling early in the morning to wake you up" phone calls, so I turned my phone off. I ended up with a couple of voicemails, but it didn't matter anyways considering the Screaming Neighbor's Kids woke me up at 7:15, 8, 9:30 and 10:15 this morning. I'm seriously starting to get pissed, but the big problem about going over there and screaming back at their parents is that their parents really don't speak English all that well. How am I supposed to combat that?