Reality Remixed: Like Disco Lemonade
What better place than here?
What better time than now?


Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Am I really saying this?
Okay, so I'm not one of those rabid militant Jews who goes around correcting everyone when they tell me to have a merry Christmas. I realize that I'm in the minority and given the lack of a large Jewish population, wishing me a merry Christmas might be a safe bet. Plus, it's the thought that counts. They want me to have a merry day, regardless of what I do that day, even if it does consist of the patented heathen Chinese Food & Movies™ Jewish Christmas Day Activities. So to all my Christian friends out there... Merry Christmas! And thanks for the four-day weekend. As a present to you, here's my favorite Christmas song. "Swiss Colony Beef Log" - South Park's Eric Cartman Stockings are hung on the chimney And the presents are under the tree And Mama's in the kitchen, Making some herbal tea The windows are covered with frost, And the candles are all alight But as I wander through this quiet house, Something just doesn't seem right You see, every year, the neighbors bring us a Swiss Colony Beef Log But the neighbors aren't around, around, around There's no Beef Log to be found This year No Beef Log Christmas isn't Christmas Without a Swiss Colony Beef Log Without those cheeses and meats, I don't think I can get around My mother tries to comfort me, She says "Here, son, have some egg nog" I fucking hate egg nog, seriously What do I see? Underneath the tree? Grandma got a Swiss Colony Beef Log just for me Ahhh... Grandma! Swiss Colony Beef Log, baby! That's what Christmas is all about! The Roly Poly Colony Beef Log, baby! Makes a little boy scream and shout! Deck the halls with boughs of Swiss Colony La la la la la, la la, la LAAAAAA!! Sweet...
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