Reprinted from October 3, 2002 New! From Microsquash, it's GirlFriend™ 1.0 System Requirements: - Cash... lots and lots of cash - Style/ability to purchase own clothes and dress oneself without a fuss - Closet space (essential for upgrade to Version 2.0 and future installation of Wife™ 1.0) - Car (Hyundai and Kia models and any model over 12 years old will only work with experimental beta versions) - Job/security - Ability to be romantic, especially under spontaneous circumstances - Worldly experiences/maturity - Sexual prowess - Freedom from parents (Version 1.0 Plus may require enough attachment to parents for trust fund) - Lack of emotional issues, especially those pertaining to previously installed versions of GirlFriend™ - Resemblance to Ben Affleck Limited Warranty/Disclaimers: - GirlFriend™ may deplete system resources and bank account. Microsquash takes no responsibility for this occurrence. - GirlFriend™ may require constant maintenance and attention. Microsquash does not provide tech support. Refer to friends, advice columns in various publications or the syndicated call-in show "Loveline" for assistance. Do not consult Dr. Joyce Brothers. - GirlFriend™ may cause mild alienation among your circle of friends if used excessively. - The Sex® plug-in may not be compatible with GirlFriend™. - Attempting to uninstall GirlFriend™ may result in mass destruction of your property, rumor-mongering among GirlFriend's Friends® plug-in and your avoidance of certain locations for fear of "bumping into" GirlFriend™ or various versions of the GirlFriend's Friends® plug-in. - In extreme cases, the Ex-Boyfriend® plug-in may cause problems. If trouble persists, call your local police department or kung-fu dojo.