Allow me to be serious for a moment. And if you don't want to, too bad -- this is my space. 1. It's fairly obvious we'll be going to war within the next few days. I'm still of two minds about this. On one hand, I feel that it's not our job to be Policemen of the World and go around taking care of all the tyrants running amuck all over the planet. That's one main reason why people outside of America have such a negative opinion of us: we're cowboys who run around impressing our way of life and our culture on others. On the other hand, though, I think it is safe to say that Saddam is a menace -- if not to us, then definitely to the people within his country and to Israel. Given that Saddam Hussein still views Israel as a target, it's reasonable to say that he wouldn't hesitate to launch an attack against that country. I fully expect that Israel will come under attack during this war. And if we don't stop him now, he may very well get technology that he could use to attack America directly. My only question at this point becomes... Iraq was supposedly rid of these weapons after the last Gulf War and has been under U.N. embargo since then. So how's he gotten new ones? (I'm looking at you, France and Germany.) 2. There's been a backlash against Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks following some anti-Bush remarks she made during a concert in Europe last week. Apparently, a lot of Country radio stations in this country have pulled the Dixie Chicks' music until she issues a formal apology -- and they're not accepting the one she gave through her publicist last Friday. Let me say this: While I recognize the right of the radio companies to exercise their decision not to air their music anymore, I think it's a form of censorship. Maines was well within her Constitutional right as an American to get up and speak her mind, and we should be thankful that she -- as a member of our society who is given this platform on which to speak -- took the opportunity afforded her, since we all don't have that luxury. She may be one voice, but she's one voice with a really loud microphone -- so loud that she was heard over here all the way on the other side of the ocean. It's disturbing that a company that has distinct influence over a good chunk of our media outlets is penalizing someone for expressing her opinion. You may disagree with her opinion, but you cannot deny her her right to express it. To force her to apologize is to make her recount her beliefs, and that's tantamount to an Inquisition where people were forced to recant and renounce their religion and embrace Christianity or face punishment. For a business to issue a company-wide ban is unspeakable -- I can see stations holding their own individual polls to see if their listening audience wishes not to hear their music anymore instead -- and to demand that apology in order to return her music to the airwaves is like asking her what she holds more important: her career or her beliefs. No American should ever be forced to make that decision. Those who have been protesting the Dixie Chicks have been saying that Natalie Maines was unpatriotic. To that, I say she was being extremely patriotic: she was exercising her right of free speech, which is one of the things that is very distinctly American. Because she expressed an opinion contrary to yours does not make her unpatriotic, and to silence her because she did so makes you an enemy of the First Amendment. If you're so willing to blindly follow our leader without question and to try to silence those who speak out against him, I've got a list of countries a mile long where you can go live where people are forced to blindly follow their leaders and don't have the luxury we have of being able to speak out against our leaders' decisions without fear of retribution. Let's see how well you people like China or North Korea after you've lived there for a few months. 3. Okay. The big issue of debate here recently has been the whole toilet paper under/over-the-roll thing. Let me explain my position on the over-the-roll stance. First of all, it's always easier to find the end of the roll when it's over the top. Secondly, if you yank hard on the roll when you tear it and the roll spins for a little, it will only go around and around (or possibly go down to the floor) if it's over the roll, but if it's under the roll, the paper will get all tangled up. Thirdly, it's just easier, dammit. The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire. Discuss. I'm going home to another night of being computer-less, and I hope it's only allergies I'm fighting instead of something more forboding and evil.