Amused by:  FeedLindsay.com.  I mean, seriously.  That girl needs a sandwich or 10.  What is up with her suddenly-waifish look?  Please join the campaign to help Lindsay Lohan regain that voluptuous look we all know and love!  Repeat after me:  A girl with a little meat on her bones is not a bad thing.  Thank you.  And I’m apparently not alone in that thought—at press time, the poll stands at 89% of respondents thinking Lindsay is too damn skinny at present.

Pissed off at:  my cable company, who claims they are “committed to providing the highest quality cable television service at the best possible price,” but the chickenfuckers just took away 13 of my movie channels without lowering the price of my monthly service!  I say again: Chickenfuckers!

Satiated by:  Vanilla Stoli and Diet Coke.  It’s like a vanilla Coke, but with alcohol, which makes it infinitely better.

While I’m young and while I’m able, all I want to do is:  play.  (Right-click and save as.)