Lesson #34: the distinct difference between "oy" and "oi."

If you're Jewish, have been around Jewish people or have seen movies with Jewish characters in them, you'd probably recognize the saying "oy." Oy is short for "oy vey," which is short for "oy vey iz meir." I'm not kidding. The expression loosely translates to something along the lines of "oh, brother." If your friend is telling you about how a mutual friend woke up in bed with a dead hooker, "oy" would be an appropriate expression of mirth and oh-man-I-can't-believe-the-stuff-that-happens-to-him! If you just ate an enormous meal and are stuffed to the point where if you put a wafer-thin mint in your mouth, you'd explode, an "oy" of contentment will very much fit the bill. If you're dragging a couch up to a third-floor apartment in a walkup, a long and protracted "oy" will also be useful, especially if it's not your couch or your apartment and you're helping someone else out. So basically, complaining, making fun of others, sympathizing, disbelief (both in a good way and a bad way), exasperation -- these are all acceptable uses of "oy." There are others, but most are acceptable on a case-by-case basis.

"Oi," on the other hand, is most common in the ska and Irish worlds. Mostly used as a greeting, the expression was made mainstream in the Christmas song that No Doubt recorded a few winters ago that's called "Oi to the World."

These expressions are not interchangeable. Saying "oy" to a Jew will make them think that something's wrong. Saying "oy" to an Irishman may result in a situation like that Budweiser commercial where the country hick tells his story over and over of how he's doin' just fine and how he got picked up at the airport by his brother-in-law and what a nice city they all have got here just because the bar patrons greet him with "how you doin'?"

Next week: the correlation between Jews, sinus problems and that "ch" sound that's in all Hebrew and Yiddish words.