Given TV networks’ propensity for putting on the most mindless and dumb programming known to man (*cough* Stacked *cough*) and cancelling pretty much all of the quality programming after like a month (giving viewers just enough time to really become interested in the show and then depressed when it’s cruelly ripped away from us), I’ve decided that show development at a TV network can’t be that hard.  At this point, I believe that the ideas from about half of the shows on the air come from Mad Libs.  The formula appears to be something like this: [B-list actor] is married/has kids/is a single parent and lives with/next door to [wacky relative] in [city] and is employed in a Regular Person’s job as a [average hard-working profession we never see them working at], hilarity ensues.  Conversely, we also have the formula of: [Number] 20somethings living in [city, preferably New York] in a huge apartment they’d never be able to afford in real life, spending their time at [local hangout], working as [jobs we never see them doing], wacky adventures ensue.

That said, I’d like to offer these modest (read: off-kilter) proposals for the 2006 network lineup.  Should ABC, NBC, CBS or Fox wish to contact me about paying me for my creative genius or buying any of my ideas, contact me.  UPN and the WB, you guys have no cash, so just stick to the Mad Libs formula.

- Des Moines secedes from the United States.  The show centers around two Des Moinesland Border Guards bored out of their minds and their attempts to amuse themselves when they realize that no one wants to go to Des Moinesland, so they have a lot of free time on their hands.  Wacky adventures and hilarity ensue.
- A family in 1960s Houston comes into possession of one of the monkeys NASA shot into space.  The monkey inexplicably develops the ability to throw darts, and one day the family plays the lottery based on the numbers on where the darts land on a number board, winning millions of dollars.  They then use this money to go around preventing all kinds of disasters in the area that the monkey predicts by throwing darts at a board labeled with various crimes and people’s first names.  Wacky adventures ensue.
- Two words:  CSI: Boise. 
- A hard-working high-powered career guy who never has any time for his family is hit by a bus, killed and reincarnated as his family’s new dining room table.  Dad becomes intricately involved in the lives of his kids as he talks with them every day, listening to what’s going on in their lives and giving them advice, but he doesn’t want Mom to know and gets frustrated watching her date various guest-stars.  The table can be voiced by Daniel Stern.  Hilarity ensues.