And now, please join us for a special news bulletin... "No, it wasn't a terrorist attack, but the droplets of water falling from the sky had just about as much of an effect on Angelenos today, as many Southland residents cowered in their homes, afraid to leave because of the torrent of rain falling from the skies. Susan?" "That's right, Harvey, one can't tell the massive effect this so-called 'rain' will have on the Southern Californian economy. There was a run on grocery stores when the precipitation began as people wanted to stock up, fearing that it may last for several days, and gas stations reported lines and high demand earlier as drivers filled up their cars in anticipation of the possibility of having to flee the area. Cub reporter Tricia Takanawa is on the scene in West Los Angeles. Trish?" "Thank you, Susan. As you can see behind me, this Ralph's grocery store parking lot is virtually empty. Only the truly hungry would venture out into this storm, because this rain is making the roads mostly impassable. In fact, if the cameraman would care to follow me... yup, over there... Susan and Harvey, can you see that?" "We can see it, Tricia... what is that? It looks like a small lake in the middle of the road." "It's called a 'puddle,' Harvey. It's when the precipitation collects in a dip in the road, and drivers must go through it. It's only an inch or two deep at most, but you have no idea the kind of havoc it can wreak on both the physical condition of a car as well as whether the driver will be able to maintain control." "Trish, is that a shopper I see behind you?" "Yes, it is, Susan, let me go over and talk to her... Excuse me! Ma'am! I'm Tricia Takanawa from Channel 12, I was just wondering... what prompted you to brave the elements to come out to Ralph's tonight?" "Well, I had a craving for chips and salsa, I had the chips but I was out of the salsa." "That's all?" "That's all." "Well, I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you feel the trip was worth it. Back to you, Harvey and Susan." "Thanks, Tricia. Up next, Weatherman Chet is going to tell us just how long this 'rain' will last and how much of it we should expect. He'll give you his guaranteed Water-Stoptime so you'll know when you'll be able to venture safely out of your homes again! Stay tuned..." [Ed. note: While this newscast obviously was a satiric figment of my imagination, the whole "only the truly hungry would brave the elements" line and the salsa exchange actually took place and was aired on the local NBC station's 11pm newscast the last time it rained here, which was a couple of weeks ago. Wish me luck as I brave the elements and avoid all the other people who freak out on the roads here when it rains...]