I've never been what people might call a "shiny, happy person." I mean, I'm relatively good-natured (except when people piss me off) and I think I'm pretty happy, but I'm not someone who believes in Forces Beyond Our Perception. Higher beings, miracles, karma, feng shui, chi, positive energies, auras, whatever you want to call it. I consider myself a pretty grounded kind of guy. There may be a fair amount of things that I don't understand about the world and the way things work, but I feel that until I know that mildly scientific proof of something exists, it'll be pretty hard to argue its existence and power to me.

Which leads me to these conclusions:
- People need to get angry every once in a while. Occasionally, really angry. It's a completely natural thing and shouldn't be feared, but rather welcomed as a release of tension.
- People who don't get angry and who run around singing Celine Dion songs and preaching to me about how I should love everyone and everything and never get mad make me angry.
- Therefore, those shiny, happy people might be transferring their anger onto others, causing other people strife while they're preaching love and tolerance and peace.
- Therefore, those shiny, happy people are hypocrites for preaching lack of anger and yet causing it.
- Therefore, let's form an angry mob and show them the consequences of what they do and see if maybe they get angry! Yeah! Git 'em! Then on to the self-righteous people, yeah!

And let me tell you: the first stop my Morals Squad is going to make is at the offices of Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Off with 'er head!