Earlier this week, I got a letter in the mail from Columbia House. Remember them? The buy-a-CD/tape-for-49-cents people who you had to keep mailing cards back to or they'd send you CDs or tapes you didn't want? Yeah, them. Look, I've been out of Columbia House for like 15 years now. I've moved several times since then -- and now all the way across the country -- and my parents have even sold the house where Columbia House thought I lived. But somehow, they managed to find me after all this time and tell me that it's not too late to rejoin! Seems to me the choice is clear: We should've had Osama bin Laden join Columbia House years ago. Then, even if he fulfilled his membership obligation and bought his 12 CDs or tapes, they'd at least be able to find him right now, because after three years, our government still hasn't been able to.