I thought I’d posted this story already, but a search through my archives proves otherwise.  So since Hilary‘s tale of her Date From Hell sparked my memory of one of mine, I thought I’d post this now-I-can-look-back-and-laugh-at-this story.

I brought a date to a restaurant/pub near my apartment—it was a place I visited fairly often since it was within walking distance of my apartment, and I liked it.  Plus, the food was good.  Either way, the date was going well.  Conversation was progressing well, and she was cute.  So about two-thirds of the way through the meal, conversation turned to our parents… and the Date asked me what my parents did.  And I replied: “My dad is a doctor, and my mom works for Planned Parenthood.”

Date stands up.  Date says, “Your mom does what?” Date proceeds to berate me in a full-voice rant about how my mom is a babykiller, and how could I associate myself with such a horrible person?  Meanwhile, she’s talking so loudly and is still on her feet, so she’s attracted the attention of everyone in the place, who is now watching me and Date with rapt interest.  Or fear.  I wasn’t quite sure which.  And me?  I’m frozen in my chair like a deer in headlights.  I have no idea what to do.  I don’t want to get up and walk out because I like the place and I don’t want to stiff them with the bill.

After three or four minutes, Date eventually ends her tirade and sits back down to dinner.  I change the topic to something innocuous like “So, seen any good movies lately?” and end dinner shortly thereafter. 

Yeeeeeah.  I wasn’t too happy about that whole scenario.

Anyways, check this tune out.  It makes the homies say ho and the girlies wanna scream.  Right-click and save as, or I’ll make you wanna scream.  Shimmy shimmy cocoa what, indeed.

DJ Mei-Lwun - “Sweet Home Country Grammar” (Nelly vs. Lynyrd Skynyrd)