There appears to be something in the water over there in D.C. which makes the officials hellishly dumb. I swear, it's spreading. It's like a bad horror film where there's some alien conspiracy to make everyone in our government stupid.

This from the Associated Press:
Authorities believe the Washington-area sniper left a message with a telephone number at the scene of the latest shooting in Virginia, The Associated Press learned Sunday. Police appealed to the person who left the message to contact them. "To the person who left us a message at the Ponderosa last night. You gave us a telephone number. We do want to talk to you. Call us at the number you provided. Thank you," Montgomery County, Md., Police Chief Charles Moose said in a televised briefing.

Okay, Chief Moose? (And pardon me if I snicker while I say your name.) Are you stupid, or are you stupid? I thought so. The guy left you a phone number and asked you to call. So, you're just going to sit on it and ask him to call you instead? Has anyone in your troop of geniuses figured out that the phone number could be a clue as far as whose line it is and where it leads? And on the off chance that this guy was dumb enough to leave his actual phone number -- which actually might not surprise me seeing as how there seems to be a rash of stupidity running rampant in our nation's capital anyways -- you'd be depriving him of his phone line if you commandeered it and asked him to call you on that line.

Chief Moose [snicker], this is not Hollywood, this is not a business luncheon arrangement. The words "don't call us, we'll call you" do not apply here.

After Moose's briefing, Officer Joyce Utter, spokeswoman for Montgomery County police, said the chief's statement "should make complete sense" to the person who left the message. "That is the only person Chief Moose wants to talk to," she said.

Excuse me? The chief's statement doesn't even make complete sense to me, and I'd like to think I've got at least an average modicum of intelligence! If this person who left his phone number is the only person who the chief wants to talk to, why isn't he calling the number this person left?! I mean, if I meet someone in a bar or something and she gives me her number and I really want to talk to her, I'm not going to go on television and tell her to call me instead. I'm going to call her at the number she gave me!

Between Chief Moose and the Caped Crusader running around in the White House, I'm very glad that I moved off the Eastern Seaboard. My tap water here in Los Angeles might be slightly yellow-tinged, but at least I know that drinking it won't make me stupid.