Keith + laptop + wireless Internet = on patio in 80 degree and sunny weather. It was there that I was sitting in my chair and working on a column for next week's issue when Bridget Moynahan walked by. Supposedly, she's dating a guy who lives in the building next door to mine.

And now, Keith's Mad Libs: The E-mail Edition.

To: Keith
From: friend in New England
Date: 1/5/03, 2:32PM EST
Subject: you [insert expletive here]

you [insert expletive here]ing bastard, i'm up to my [insert body part here] in snow and it's [insert expletive here]ing cold outside. in case you haven't been keeping an eye on our goddamned weather here (and why should you, you [insert expletive here]tard? you're in sunny los angeles with a [insert expletive here]ing convertible), we just got another foot of white [insert expletive here], and i'm freezing my [insert body part (plural) here] off -- both of 'em. hope you're having a great [insert expletive here]ing time out there. bastard.