Today I received a package that my parents had sent out to me. Just some random things -- the DVD remote that I accidentally left behind, refund checks from my insurance agency for cancelling my car and renter's insurance since I didn't need it anymore, a copy of Esquire that came after I'd left. Mom also included souvenirs of her last trip to New York City: a piece of concrete from Ground Zero that she had taken the last time she was there and a hat that says "New York City Ground Zero" on it. My family has an odd way of collecting souvenirs. For some reason, we collect rocks or other small pieces of things, but mostly rocks. I have a rock from Pompeii where Mount Vesuvius erupted, I have a piece of brick from Red Square in Moscow, I have a small piece of the red carpet from the Cannes Film Festival. And now I have a piece of Ground Zero.

For the first time since September 11th, I found my eyes welling up with tears as I held this piece of concrete no bigger than the palm of my hand that had been shipped 3000 miles to me. It wasn't a longing for home. It was a realization that out of those mighty buildings that had been there, this was all that was left. So much work that went into those buildings, so much time and energy expended on them, and they were brought down in the space of a few hours. All those wasted lives cut short, all the experiences they'll never have and all the people they left behind. All wrapped up in one little piece of concrete.

I briefly put on the hat and looked in the mirror. It fits and it actually looks good on me, which is odd because I don't normally look good at all in hats. But after a few seconds of staring at my reflection, I took it off. And I won't put it back on, most likely ever again. Because even though it's one of maybe five or so hats that I've ever looked good wearing during my entire life, I just can't bring myself to support the commercialization of this tragedy. Too many good people died, too much pain and suffering has taken place as a result of this for me to trivialize it with a baseball hat or a t-shirt or something of that nature. I will remember them and honor them in my own way, but I don't need to buy a flag or a hat to do that.