Dear Guy Next to Me at the Stoplight,
I don’t care how off-center your hat is, how much bling you’re wearing or how loud the rap is blaring from your vehicle.  You’re driving a Toyota minivan, and I’m afraid that’s just not gangsta.  Better luck next time.

Dear Katherine Heigl,
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, stupid.  If you don’t like the jobs you have, leave them.  You should feel lucky that you get to be on a top-rated TV show every week during the season and have been in a high-grossing and popular movie with some of the most currently successful names in Hollywood associated with it.  You’re a household name now.  Don’t become a punchline, and don’t become a diva.

Dear Bicyclists,
There’s no need to get all uppity — share the road.  Yes, us drivers are supposed to share the road with you and not edge you into the sidewalk or dirt or anything on the side of the road.  But (and forgive the pun) the road goes both ways.  If we have to give, so do you, and that means not riding down the middle of the lane just because.  You’re going significantly slower than we are, and while you have a right to the road, police officers give tickets to drivers who tie up traffic because they’re going too slow because it’s considered reckless driving.  By going that slow and riding so far out in the lane that cars can’t get around you, you’re doing the same thing.