I was watching MTV2 and Michael Jackson's latest video came on. I watched it for about 10 minutes before I had to turn it off, since he made this whole motion picture that he probably could've put up on the big screen, charged admission to see and gotten Roger Ebert to review. Now he's even whiter than I am, and he's also had his nose sliced clean off. He looks like he's got gills growing on his face.