I've been defiled. I feel taken advantage of, and I feel violated.

Mylo has attempted to hump my leg.

I should've noticed the initial signs that he's in heat, having experienced the mood swings and behaviors of a rabbit deep in the throes of the bunny-equivalent of pon farr (the mating cycle that comes every 7 years to Vulcans in which they become very irrational and have to screw or they'll die, for all you non-Trek people out there) when I had my own pet rabbit. But since Mylo's mommy had cautioned me that he has a tendency to follow people around closely so that they'll feed him and he's also a bit of a brat sometimes, I dismissed his antics as attention-seeking behavior. And even though I had my suspicions when he began biting my ankles and going after my pant legs, I still didn't think he was attempting to do what I thought he might.

But then he attempted. He made a full-on attempt. He mounted my leg while I was eating a late snack at the kitchen table and started going to town on me. And I knew -- it wasn't attention-seeking behavior, it was rampant hormones. And while I don't think that Mylo is gay, since male rabbits get so blinded by their hormones that they'll try to mount just about anything living that could allow them to bring themselves to orgasm, I just hope that he gets it out of his system quickly so that I don't have to spend a whole week fending off his rather straightforward (and somewhat painful) advances. Mylo's mommy and I will have a nice chat when she comes back from her honeymoon, at which point I will strongly advise her to find a female for Mylo to screw, otherwise he may start chasing her and her new husband around their house.

When I was back in high school, one of my mom's co-workers mentioned she had a female rabbit she was trying to find a mate for, so we took the female bunny back to our house for a night and threw her in my rabbit's cage. Suffice to say that my bunny was so excited and so overwhelmed by his hormones, he mounted the wrong end. And if you've ever seen a male bunny in action, it's literally like a jackhammer. I felt so sorry for this poor female bunny, getting her head pounded into the bottom of the cage and yet we couldn't do anything to stop my rabbit because every time we went near him, he tried biting us. They screwed all night... just like rabbits. He couldn't get enough of her. In the morning, when it was time to give the female back to her owner, I noticed tufts of her fur all over the cage -- my rabbit had bitten off clumps of her fur during their wild night of sex. To make matters worse, he didn't want to part with her, and every time my mom or I reached into his cage, he'd bite us -- something he hadn't done since the first week we had him when he was terrified of us. We eventually had to lure him out with a very big carrot, then my mom scooped him up and held him while I grabbed the female out of the cage and carried her off.

At this point, I think the only thing I can do is put my head in my hands and say, "Oy vey." And try to keep my limbs out of his reach.