Dear Anonymous Fucko,

You think you’re sooooo clever, leaving all those comments and insults?  Whatever.  You’re just showing how much of a pussy you are.  It’s so easy to sit behind a wall of anonymity and sling shit with stupid fake names and e-mail addresses.  If I’m going to insult someone — and trust me, part of my job is to mock people, and I do it on a daily basis — then put your real name behind it.  I always do.  If you’re not even willing to put your name on what you say, then it’s worthless.  And so are you.

On top of which, if you so readily believe that what I write is so boring and I’m not that clever, then why are you spending so much time and energy here?  Obviously, something about what I write matters so much to you that you feel the need to expend effort on it.  Quite frankly, it’s a big Internet, there’s obviously other places you could go if you don’t like what you see here.  Because you’re not welcome here, and if you hate this site so much, then leave.  Don’t let the door hit you in your bitter, jealous ass on your way out.