That gawdawful pina colada song by Rupert Holmes is stuck in my head. I don't know why. I haven't even heard it recently, and by recently, I mean in weeks if not months. I have two theories on this: 1. Some mad scientist (or a scientist working on a government project) has kidnapped a select few of us for an experiment in psychological warfare, and he's implanted a small device in our heads that -- every so often -- starts playing old and annoying songs over and over and over in an attempt to see if we can withstand the mental attack or if it'll make us go crazy. 2. Rupert Holmes is a transvestite Scientologist alien, and he's sold his soul to the devil for immortality via his song about fruity alcoholic beverages. And yes, I know that by talking about it here, I will now infect all of your brains with that gawdawful song and you'll not be able to get it out of your heads. Since TV writers seem to be lacking in ideas and aren't able to write scripts that aren't based on events that happened in real life, I figure I'll borrow a page from a popular recent film (which you'll recognize if you've seen the film) in an attempt to free my own mind. Don't be hatin', just pass along the coladaness to someone else...