I went out last night with one of my best friends. We had a great time, and the only downside to the night was that I had more alcohol spilled on me than I actually consumed. Which is the reason why I'm running a laundry load right now. Well, that and the fact that I don't have any clean dark socks. We caught up, discussed life in general, but she waited until we had already put away a bottle of wine over dinner to tell me that she'd resumed contact with her latest ex-boyfriend. She waited because she knew it would make me upset, and she wanted me to at least be a bit dulled by the alcohol. I'm not quite sure what I'm more pissed about, the fact that she's seeing him again or the fact that she didn't tell me until now -- almost a month after she first saw him again. It's not that he hit her or anything, he didn't actively do anything bad. But he did things that drove her up a wall and caused some emotional distress, and for that reason I want to rip his face off. She broke it off, finally, 8 months ago after a long relationship, and she and I both knew she had to go cold turkey. Unfortunately, now that he's back in her life, she feels the pull again. She described part of the reason why she let him back into her life as being his unconditional love, which she feels is intoxicating. And I can partially understand that. Being loved like that is an amazing feeling -- one which I haven't felt in a while -- and it makes you want to go back for more. The only problem in this situation is the fact that there were other things that drove her away, but you can't go back to the bar for just one drink when you're a recovering alcoholic. She said that he "fixed" a few of the things that drove her crazy, but I still maintain that you shouldn't change yourself for a person like that and if you do, it's unhealthy -- for you and for the relationship. I have experience in this area, having been the malleable one and, to this day, I hate myself for it. Relationships should not be this much work. It's not a matter of too much compromise. There's good things and there's bad things about every relationship, but when it gets to the point where it drives you to the point of such frustration, it's time to recognize that there may be something a bit dysfunctional. And I wish that I had recognized that in my own relationships before I put myself through the anguish that I did.