In light of the recent suits against companies like McDonald's and Burger King (and one filed recently against Kraft Foods because Oreos apparently are bad for you and are marketed towards children), I think it's time to hop on the bandwagon and get a piece of this passing-the-buck action. Suit #191-864-32D filed in Los Angeles Superior Court: Keith vs. God Whereas Keith believes it to be beyond his control that he is not able to digest fatty and caloric foods as well as those he has seen, such as his college roommate who ate cheeseburgers daily and who was so skinny you could count his ribs, Keith feels it to be within his rights to sue his Creator, who made Keith in such a way that he can gain five pounds just from being within 10 feet of food containing an excessive amount of fat or calories, and he must work exceptionally hard to lose any weight he gains from eating said foods. Whereas Keith feels that he is not as good-looking as some of these guys he sees on the street, on TV and in the movies, Keith feels that he is owed certain dispensations from his Creator, who made him not as attractive as these vastly-admired hunks o' burnin' loooooove. He may not be Ben Affleck or Paul Walker or Keanu Reeves, but he should be able to look as good as them. If it should be so proven that Keith does not believe in God, Keith reserves the right to redirect his suit to focus on the U.S. Government, who did not allow Keith's parents to selectively manipulate his genes in order to make him turn out as skinny and muscular and good-looking as he ought to be. Keith urges God and/or the Government to respond; otherwise, he will see them in court. He gettin' Johnnie Cochran, too. Ain't nobody who can beat Johnnie Cochran.