I started out as a radio DJ in the same timeslot that every radio DJ starts in -- overnights. From midnight to 6am, I ruled the airwaves at 98.7 FM on a rock station, and the best thing was that it was "freeform" radio, which basically meant I could play what I wanted, within reason of course. I had my devoted listeners -- the Cumberland Farms clerks (Cumberland Farms is a Northeast-based convenience store chain, much like 7-11), the third-shifters at Electric Boat (where they built the nuclear subs for the Navy), the hospital workers and the gas station employees. It was great at the beginning. I'm naturally a night person, so I felt at home in the broadcast studio, despite the fact that the rest of the building was empty and it was dark outside and there weren't any cars going by outside. But every night around 4am... it started to get a little lonely. Even though there was probably at least one person listening to me, it still felt like I was the only person awake in the world. No one was around to communicate with me. It still gets that way for me now, more so than when I had a microphone, a CD player, a transmitter and some phone lines to back me up because now there's no way for me to instantaneously talk to people, either through my own words or through music, and have them call in to talk back to me. Like tonight, occasionally I'm up late and can't sleep for reasons unknown to even me, and there's no one around/awake/online to chat with. There's a special kind of silence that comes after midnight when you feel like you're the only person awake. I can understand now why true insomniacs can get extremely depressed, lonely or crazy after a while, and I thank my lucky stars that my insomnia is only temporary. It became a bit of a trademark for me that when I was on the air and felt this lonely, I'd play "Anybody Listening?" by Queensrÿche. I knew the song wasn't completely relevant to the situation, but it made me feel like I was broadcasting my own feelings out to the public, much like I do on mix CDs that I make or when I post the Sunday Most Listened-to Song o' the Week lyrics. And the best part was that it always generated at least one or two phone calls from the outside world, so I didn't feel so lonely anymore. Unfortunately, I don't have that broad connection to the outside world anymore, so I'm relegated to posting the lyrics on my blog, and maybe someone will come along, read it and either IM or e-mail me. Queensrÿche - "Anybody Listening?" You and I Long to live like the wind upon the water If we close our eyes, We'll maybe realize There's more to life than what we have known. And I can't believe I've spent so long Living lies I know were wrong inside, I've just begun to see the light Long ago there was a dream, Had to make a choice or two Leaving all I loved behind, For what nobody knew Stepped out on the stage, a life Under lights and judging eyes Now the applause has died and I Can dream again... Is there anybody listening? Is there anyone that sees what's going on? Read between the lines, Criticize the words they're selling Think for yourself and feel the walls Become sand beneath your feet Feel the breeze? Time's so near you can almost taste the freedom There's a warm wind from the south Hoist the sail and we'll be gone, By morning this will all seem like a dream And if you don't return to sing the song, Maybe just as well I've seen the news And there's not much I can do alone Is there anybody listening? Is there anyone who smiles without a mask? What's behind the words - images They know will please us? I'll take what's real, bring up the lights Is there anybody listening? Is there anyone that sees what's going on? Read between the lines, Criticize the words they're selling Think for yourself and feel the walls Become sand beneath your feet Close your eyes...