Dear Linda (if that’s even your real name),

Hi.  We’ve probably never met, and there’s a pretty decent chance that we never will, since we appear to run in different circles.  You seem like the kind of girl who gets out to a lot of bars and clubs and gets hit on by a ton of guys, and that’s just not my scene. 

Normally, I’d pay you no mind, but that’s my number you’re apparently giving out to all those guys hitting on you who you’re not interested in.  Sure, my phone number sounds cool (and that’s been remarked upon by most of the people I give my number to), but that’s no reason to make me suffer—I’ve gotten phone calls from 7 different guys for you in the last 2 days.  There are definitely other ways to gently blow off guys that don’t involve me being pestered at inopportune times. 

Thanks.

xoxoxox

Now, for those of you who aren’t Linda, please enjoy the French new wave sounds of Plastic Bertrand’s “Ca Plane Pour Moi”.