The Friday L.A.-based meme from LABlogs was about driving, and since I'm the road warrior, how could I pass it up? Besides, out of everything in Los Angeles, traffic is the one thing that really tweaks my melon. 1. How many hours a week are you stuck in your car? Luckily, my commute is short and goes on surface streets. 3 miles each way, 20 minutes. It's trying to get anywhere else that kills me. Last week, I spent an hour trying to go 12 1/2 miles from Century City to Burbank. Last night, I tried to go 10 miles from Brentwood to Hollywood and while I made great time and thought I'd be early, the second I turned onto Franklin, traffic was dead stopped and it took me 25 minutes to go one mile. That trip took me over an hour. 2. What music is in your car, right now? Both Sirius and XM Satellite Radio and a CD encoded with about 150 mp3s -- everything ranging from alt rock to old-school hip-hop to electronica to pop to mashups to hard rock to a cappella... You might say I'm a bit of a music junkie. 3. What do you do while stuck in traffic? Eat? Sing? Primal scream? Sing. Try to find something that I want to listen to. Swear at other drivers for being so damn stupid. 4. If you could give citations to other drivers for bad behavior, who/what would you ticket? Oh man. Where do I begin? I have said so many times that when I finally get my act together, exercise my powers as Evil Overlord and take over the world, the first thing I'm going to do is throw half of Southern California back in driving school. Among others, I'm ticketing anyone who drives too slow (especially in the left lane), people who talk on their phones while they're driving (or doing something else really stupid while behind the wheel -- see below), those idiots who don't pay attention that their lanes are ending and try to force their way in at the last minute, anyone who freaks out when it starts raining, all of those people who drive high-end cars so they think they own the road and can do whatever they want, those people who make the left turn after the light has turned blatantly red (I can understand one or two cars, but four? Do not pass go, do not collect $200)... I could go on like this for a while. 5. What's your favorite place/freeway to drive in LA? Any freeway late at night when it's free of traffic. Whenever I can get to 80 on the freeway, it's a good thing. Although I have a particular affinity for the 10 west of the 405. I know it's a short stretch, but it's wide open and it heads towards the ocean. I try to avoid freeways except after 11pm, when they're usually open, so I find myself on either Olympic or Sawtelle (depending on if I'm heading east or south) a lot. 6. What's your least favorite? The 405 going over the Hill -- both ways, but especially southbound. Okay, the 405 everywhere, especially since it's always crowded. The 60 out in Riverside where the air suddenly reeks of manure. 7. What's the craziest thing you've ever seen another driver do? Besides the idiot who tried to kill me a couple of weeks ago by coming over into my lane in the same spot where I was, despite my leaning on the horn? I guess that'd have to be the guy I saw reading a novel while driving. Eyes on the road, people! 8. What's the craziest thing you've ever seen left on the side of the road? A refrigerator. Since the traffic is the one thing that really gets me riled up about Los Angeles, here are a couple of anti-L.A. songs. These are also for The Pissed Kitty, who hates L.A. and all the general fuckwittery occurring here but, for some reason, has lived here for several years and hasn't left yet. Right-click and save as, yo. Bad Religion - Los Angeles is Burning Soul Coughing - Screenwriter's Blues You are lisssssstening... to Los Angeles...