So the polls are in, and President Moron has the second-highest quarterly approval rating since Gallup started taking surveys. He's only 1 point behind Truman's tenure at the time of the end of World War II. Can someone please explain to me what Moron has done in the past three months that warrants such a high approval rating?

Let's recap a few of his administration's more notable acts, shall we?
- Sent troops to Afghanistan in response to September 11th, bombed the hell out of a poor country whose defenses we mostly supplied when they were battling the Soviets in the 1980s, drove their leaders from power yet failed to catch the one man they were really after
- Participated in Enron's coverup and subsequent implosion, which cost thousands of people both their jobs and their life savings and retirement plans
- Abrogated the Constitutional rights of Arab-Americans and held almost a thousand people in jail without charging them
- Pretzel 1, President 0

And all this makes him deserve an 86% approval rating? This makes me think that I could run for President, do nothing but run around the White House all day belching at the press cameras and the American people would still think I'm a better President than Jimmy Carter.