I watched the premiere episode of ABC's Grey's Anatomy tonight. Quite honestly, it brought such a flood of emotions to the surface that for once, I'm having problems trying to organize my thoughts. I remember when I was younger, people would ask me all the time if I was going to be a doctor like my father, and they were always surprised when I immediately said no. All I could see was the incredibly long hours, the strain on him, the intense work he had to put into his job, and I wanted none of it. Plus, the fact that I really don't like needles contributed. The funny thing is that even though he's told me stories and I've seen countless numbers of "doctor shows" on TV, I don't think things really hit home for me. Sure, there was ER, but that was more of a soap opera, and people watched it for the drama. And I love Scrubs, but that's definitely a comedy. This one... this one pounded it into my skull. At the age of 30, my father gave up a lucrative career to spend 4 years in medical school, with several more ahead of him as a resident, putting in grueling hours and getting sleep when he could. Dad spent the majority of his career in an emergency room, and while I went to visit him a few times when things were slow, I never got a chance to see things when they truly exploded. There were points where Dad would see something on the order of 40-50 patients an hour for 12 hours a day -- all of them critical, and all of them only getting a minute or two to stabilize them or else they'd be lost. These are people's lives that were being dealt with -- and saved, hopefully -- in milliseconds. There were crazy things that happened, and I still only hear one or two stories every now and then, so I feel like I will never fully understand or comprehend the magnitude of what it was that he did on a daily basis. I never really thought of what he did as "heroic," especially since my father is an exceptionally humble man who never put on airs because of what he did. However, it's starting to really occur to me that yes, he was not only heroic because he had the strength of will to put in the long hours and work to become a doctor and practice medicine the way he did on a daily basis for so many years, but also because I know he was one of the good ones and he practiced with a good heart and a solid mind. And I feel almost stupid that it's only now that I'm truly starting to appreciate that and that it's taking a television show to help me understand. Thirteen Senses - "Into the Fire" Right-click and save as, please.