I almost became fodder for someone else's blog about 15 minutes ago.

The dentist's appointment was rather painless, actually -- literally and figuratively. I didn't even feel the needles he used for the Novocaine, and he was extremely nice and even gave me a 20% discount on the visit since I had told him I was out of work (he asked what I did and I gave him my usual response -- "I look for a job"). I was in and out of there in about half an hour.

On my way out of my apartment, though, I had remembered that I'd not deposited my roommate's rent check into my bank account yet -- a rather important thing to do, since the rent is due at the end of the week. So I grabbed the check on my way out the door with the intention of stopping by the local ATM on my way home from the dentist.

No worries. Dentist's office is three blocks from the ATM. I even made the light crossing Beacon Street, which is a big intersection and I almost never get to the intersection in time to actually make the "WALK" sign. I figure everything's comin' up Milhouse. Then I get to the ATM, fill out the envelope, sign the check -- and realize I need to lick the envelope to seal it. At this point, my entire mouth is so doped up on Novocaine that I wouldn't have been surprised if my tongue were dragging on the pavement and my bottom jaw was trailing 3 feet behind me. I can't feel a thing in my mouth except a blissful numbness and I certainly don't have control over it.

For a moment, I debated going to the person at one of the ATM kiosks and asking her to lick my envelope, but I thought that with my luck, my slurred speech and what could be taken as a rather suggestive statement, I'd wind up with a public drunkenness charge and a sexual harassment suit on my hands. So I move up into the ATM screen very closely (which will probably give the security guys a bit of a fright if they ever need to review the security tapes), stuck out my tongue as best I could, and used my reflection in the ATM screen to guide the envelope very carefully over my tongue. I look at it -- mission accomplished. The adhesive is wet. I seal up the envelope, thank whatever Higher Powers That Be for that, deposit the check and bolt out of there.

Now I just have to hope that the Novocaine wears off soon, since I'm hungry but right now I have to concentrate to even swallow, so I have no idea how I'd be able to chew.