And now, the news: They're Probably Pining for the Fjords -- a news story about a lawsuit over four dead Norwegian parrots. You know that there were probably about 6,213 journalists/secret-Python-fanatics-with-unfulfilled-desires-to-go-down-in-the-annals-of-history-as-a-great-comedic-writer just waiting for years for a story like this so they could use that headline. Broadcaster Goes Klingon -- the German-government-funded radio and TV broadcaster Deutsche Welle will now give news and information in, among other languages, Klingon. Okay, like German isn't scary enough of a language to hear? And it's nice that all these people have enough faith in humankind that we won't blow ourselves to tiny little bits before the 24th Century, but -- hold on to something -- Klingons aren't real. These people aren't speaking a dead language because it never existed, it's like gibberish that everyone understands!