Okay, so you know how parents are supposed to embarrass you? I think mine are taking revenge upon me for dragging them into the digital age by modernizing the embarrassment. And expanding it. When I was growing up, the parental embarrassment was basically contained within the community and general geographic area. Thanks to the magic of the Internet, my father is now attempting to embarrass me across state lines. Several months ago, Dad was reading some strange Jewish newspaper he gets and saw an article written by this girl about why she only dates Jewish guys. He and my mom scanned it and e-mailed it to me. I read it. Fine. Nice enough article, kind of covers some of the same ground I usually go over when explaining why I don't date outside the faith. Flash-forward a few months to our conversation tonight. Dad has decided that, since this girl's writing style apparently reminds him so much of mine, he got a "special feeling" when he read the article -- much like the one he got when he met my mom. So now Dad is on a quest to get contact information for this girl so I can communicate with her -- and ask her out. Dad is apparently oblivious to the fact that she lives in Seattle and chooses to ignore my numerous protests that I don't do long-distance relationships (hell, I won't even date someone more than 20 miles away, let alone 1,500), and when he said, "Well, try it, you never know," he also chose to ignore my response that I have tried long-distance dating and I didn't like it and that's the reason why I'm not doing it ever again. Bright and early Tuesday morning, Dad is taking himself down to the offices of his local Jewish newspaper to ask for this girl's contact information. And he says that if I don't write her, he will contact her himself and attempt to get her to write me. Just when I was beginning to think I was getting along really well with my dad, he goes and pulls a stunt like this. I feel like pulling a Charlie Brown: raising my head up to the heavens and screaming "AAAAAAAAAAUGH!"