In less than one month from now, I will be on the East Coast again. It's been four and a half months since I left, and this will probably be the second-to-last time I will go there for a while. Given that my next trip Eastward will be to pack up my parents' belongings and haul them to Tucson, this will probably be the last time that I will spend any real amount of time in the town that I grew up in and the last time ever in the house that I called home for almost 14 years.

I wonder how much I've changed over the past few months. Definitely, those who knew me from back East have told me that I sound happier and people here who've known me for a long time have told me that I look and act much happier as well. But now I'm faced with the stark reality of cutting all ties. With my parents moving out of Connecticut, I have no real reason to go back to the East Coast, save visiting friends (some of whom plan to come to California to visit me and are also thinking about moving here) and/or school reunions.

I wonder -- after 2002 is over -- when the next time I'll see Boston will be. A city that I called home for almost 8 years. When I'll see Connecticut again, a state that I called home for 17 years. And New York City, the place I was born and always felt a connection to, though even that seems to be slipping away. I always knew that I'd have a "home" wherever my parents were and that I could visit them anytime I wanted, but I had real roots in that pre-fab raised ranch in Connecticut and their new house in Tucson will be just that -- a house in Tucson that they happen to inhabit, and not the old familiar stomping grounds that I grew up in. Their moving is like pulling up the last stake for me. I have no more East Coast connections except for my past, and even that is fading into obscurity as I carve out a new life for myself in Los Angeles. But I just don't feel like L.A. is my home yet, I haven't been here long enough even though I've fallen into routine and I've kind of established myself here.

In a metaphorical sense, I almost feel homeless.