The following is a public service announcement regarding concertgoing behavior and etiquette following my experiences at Coldplay last night (who put on a great show, by the way).

1. No Extreme PDA® at the show. I can understand that it’s nice to show affection to your significant other, especially when Chris Martin is singing a song like “Fix You” or something along those lines, but please limit to cuddling, hugging, handholding and light smooching.  Trying to suck each other’s faces off and exploring your significant other’s esophagus with your tongue—not cool.

2. No loud singing along. Yes, it’s great that you know all the words to every song.  I’m happy that you’re a fan.  But standing behind me and singing loudly off-key in my ear is not going to win you any brownie points.  Let the guy up on stage—the guy who people paid good money to see (even if I didn’t)—do his thing and earn his keep.  I’m not paying to see you in concert.  In fact, if I don’t punch you in the mouth, I may pay you not to sing.  Soft singing, I can understand so that it doesn’t overpower the person on stage, or hell, even lip-synching along is fine.

3. Don’t be that person who wears a t-shirt from a past tour. We know you like the band; obviously, you wouldn’t be here unless you wanted to be or unless your girlfriend threatened to withhold physical affections if you didn’t go.  It doesn’t mean you have to show off that you’ve seen them before.  As the Cake song “Rock and Roll Lifestyle” says, “How much did you pay for your rock ‘n’ roll t-shirt that proves you were there, that you heard of them first?” It’s just kind of obnoxious. 

Thank you.  You may now resume your normal broadcast day.  Me, I’ve been doing a ton with the running around the greater L.A. area and the hanging with friends and the singing group performing on Venice Beach this afternoon, so I’m taking tomorrow off from work.  I’m sleepin’ in, yo.