I was trying to get out of the parking garage after leaving the gym. The two cars in front of me buzzed the attendant, the gate went up and they left. I buzzed the attendant. Nothing. Hit the button again. Nothing. Held the button down. Nothing. Hit the button repeatedly. You get the idea. It wasn't until I tapped out "shave-and-a-haircut, two-bits" on the button that the gate went up. I love how our fearless leader, President Moron, announced to the press corps that he would "keep working until everyone who needs work finds work" (his words, not mine) and then left on a month-long vacation at his ranch in Middle-of-Nowhere, Texas. I've made my world-famous chocolate peanut butter bars to bring to Fran's party in order to do battle with Joelle's brownies. I will prevail. And then later tonight after I've partied at a couple different parties, I'm either going to jail or hell. I can't decide which. (Yes, Empire Records is on again. If you haven't seen this film, go rent it. Now.)