- I'm getting old. OLD, I say.
- Unless you're a leper, you won't melt in the rain. I promise.
- Geeks are only attractive to women on TV and in movies. Drop-dead gorgeous cool women don't go for geeks in real life.
- Don't you just hate it when someone deflates you? It's damned annoying when you're up on your high horse, feeling you're in the right, and some random person just comes along and makes you realize that maybe it's time to climb down.
- There's a better-than-average chance that I will never understand the appeal of Puddle of Mudd. (Or, as my friend Matt likes to call them, Muddle of Pudd.)
- I am apparently not as powerful as I had previously believed myself to be. Additionally, I wore my shitkickers (a.k.a. my Timberland boots) to work today with the intention of kicking some shit, but alas -- there was none to be kicked.
- Christmas: brought to you this year by the Pentaverate. Yes, that mythical group of corporations who rule the world that Mike Myers postulated in So I Married An Axe Murderer really does exist. Except I think it's made up of Microsoft, Clear Channel, Disney, Starbucks and MTV.
- There's something inherently romantic about listening to the rain fall while lying in a bed outfitted with cotton flannel sheets. Too bad there's no one around to share in the romance.
- When a comedian has to rely strictly on parody and imitation material or characters from a popular variety show that he stars in to get laughs, he's not funny. Hence the reason why I think Jimmy Fallon's not going to go anywhere anytime soon. I saw Kevin Nealon do standup once, and he wasn't funny either. He did too many SNL-related jokes.
- However, even after 20 years, Bill Cosby's comedy movie Bill Cosby: Himself is still hysterical. Can I have some chocolate cake?...
- Christmastime in the office is all about the Swiss Colony Beef Log packages. All those cheeses and meats...
- We'd probably all be better off if Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush were locked in a room and had a knock-down, drag-out pillow fight to settle their grievances.